A new year

Walked all the way from Orchard to Holland Village with the burgies after a movie at cineleisure, and my fucking legs are aching now. Haha, yes we did it again, it was a good talk-cock-sing-song session with them though.

Wrapping up a year is no doubt a daunting task, certainly not for the indecisive. Last year this time was great, I was anticipating the countdown at Taipei 101; it was a great experience that ended up with a tiring and fruitful year ahead. Year 2007 isn't a bad one. Bascially, the year has given me alot of stuffs to think, alot of problems to solve, and alot of decisions to make, Studies is getting on track and I start to love school more, I meet more friends and manage to keep contacts with the old, and I have a clear plan for the future. Ironically, it was a bad one in terms of certain aspects of life in the later part of the year, and it somehow spoilt the year as it ends. Anyway, shall be cycling overnight with some dear mates tonight, and hopefully we will make it to the planned route (which is obviously a challenge for us all). 2008, we are coming!!!

Birthday ended with a bang this year since i did surprisingly okay for the exam. =) Really thanks those that remembered this day.

Thanks the uni peeps for the Zara cardigan, I'm loving it.

Thanks Irene for the wallet, as I'm right looking for one now. =)

Thanks Poh for the surf shorts from Canada, my best Xmas Xchange ever.

Thanks HongKiat for the Coffee wine, and remembering I love coffee.

Thanks Meihua, Tingz, Kris and the poly peeps for the Topman cardigan, green tee shirt, coffee grinder, NUM slippers; they are all so lovely.

Thanks Max for the cake, it was really chocolate-ly.

Thanks kok guan the brother for being with me the whole day, instead of going back to his hometown to celebrate the new year with his family.
Thanks all those who remembered the day and messaged me. It was sweet, really appreciated.

Was actually hoping, dreaming, wishing, anticipating someone's message for the Xmas and birthday... but nope, I have none of it. And I doubt I will get one on the new year. Rather dissappointed and hurted. Is really time to let go... Shrugs, it seems like I have been cast a no love spell. Hahaha. Kidding. And by the way "good luck chunk" was quite a show to watch, thou is R21.

And I had my virgin wakeboarding on the birthday, and it ended up quite chui. Haha. I was really lousy la... Boo hoo hoo. Sad. -_-' But I won't give up!!! Shall try it out again soon, but probably not at East Coast Park again where hundred heads are looking at you as u fall deep into the pond, and u have to swim back like a dog to the starting point just to start all over again. Haha.

Randomly, I feel like having a dive. If only I have $$$$$$, and my two diving kahkis are not going back to Canada and Australia respectively... ... ...

I hope 2008 will be a better year for all my friends. =) happy new year guys, see you in 2008!

End of the year

Song: You belong to Me by Michael Buble

Feeling: Lightened up

Weather: No more rain

Michael Buble kept my afternoon in this relax mode... The year is finally ending, and I swear I couldn't survive if there's more such years. Merry Xmas to people I love, people who loves me. Thanks for being there for me always. And I've decided. I'm not having any new year resolutions this coming year. It failed over the years, so I'm just going to do my best for everything for the upcoming one. Yeah, that's it...

I thought I could be found dead for sleeping after lying on the bed for like 32 hours since 7am on Christmas, only waking up several times to pee, and once by the best friend to confirm the buffet dinner on the 30th. Cheerios for the 10 years plus friendship guys! From boys we became men, but the brotherhood remains.

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And I decided to forget u. Perhaps that's the best present I can give to u. Many years down the road, I would remember this day.

You, me, and the others.

Bye bye, sweetheart.

A Relax Sunday

Is now like a daily routine to wake up late in the afternoon, get nag by the mother, then out I go with the friends for gatherings to strengthen the bond or watever, haha. Been out everyday ever since the semester ended and the old man isn't too happy about me. So today I decided to stay at home and be a "good boy" for once, and "pacify" the dad since he treats me as if I was still a old school kid. Haha, I heart the folks.

Grandaunt passed away this week, less then three months as predicted. But I think is a good thing to relive her away from the pain, agony, sufferings and illness. She... she will always live in the hearts of many as the cheerful, bubbly, lovable old woman everyone loves.

I'm working my ass off right now to catch the sun, haha!!! Every morning the butt called me up telling me the sun was there, so that I can go for my swim. But I always went back to sleep again, and the rain took over when I woke up. Damn! i make sure i will catch it this week, haha. I need some therapeutic swim and a great tan.

Pictures from the Crazy Xmas concert last sunday:

I heart them.

The guys.

The neighbour and I.

The girls.

And thanks bro, for the gifts from taiwan! =)

月老

昨天与大学死党吃完点心逛完街后，独自一个人到了 kinokuniya 看书去。看了一本图文小品，买了婷的生日礼物后，“不小心”随手拿了九把刀的两本书。结果本想买 Richard Leakey 的 The Origin of Humankind 没买，却花了差不多50元，超心痛的！但并没有后悔啦，因为喜欢九把刀这位作家。可能因为他是男作家的关系，总能让我“感同深受”吧。对九把刀的认识是在台湾，在偶然的情况下，阅读了他的《那些年我们一起追的女孩》。

这次买了他的《月老》跟《红线》（限量精裝珍藏版／2書 1CD)。读完了《月老》后，喜欢男主角的执着和伟大。男主角在一场意外中死去，化做成月老保佑着他的爱人。虽然割舍不下这份情，却忍痛割爱帮爱人牵红线。喜欢九把刀巧妙的利用文字，描述这份凄美的爱情。他没把故事写得死去活来，反而写法有点随性，间单。就因为间单，所以容易深得人心。

有些爱情，在死后依就永恒。
有些爱情，在死后才开始。
去吧。我最爱的，别人的新娘子。

我为那男主角的那股充满勇氣的力量感到骄傲，
能夠一心一意喜歡一個人，多麼幸福 。

LOST

I need to find someone to talk to, but I don't know who could I find; who could give me the right advice; who really cares; and who's appropriate. Weihao is not in Singapore, butt and gl aren't very good choices for the topic, and "someone" just ignored me entirely. Sigh, never mind, I would figure out myself soon... In short, everything just got upside down...

Maybe tomorrow would be a better day...

Random

Feeling: Down
Current Read: Ding's Lecture 6
Song: Be ur man by Jeff Chang

Today is a random.

Just today,
Just today I felt strange.
I felt lonely, and a tinge of unhappiness.
I dunno. I felt weird. I'm not me.
The wind blew onto my face as I walked home.
And I felt the watery cheeks.

Perhaps tomorrow,
Perhaps tomorrow will be a bright new sunny day.
I will look forward to a new beginning, and a new ray of hope.
I dunno. I will feel good. I'll be me
The sun will shine on me.
And I will have a new life.

But still,
Till then,
Let me finish crying tonight.
Absolutely chui-ness.

Anw I heart the fellow muggers in library.
Thou I feel like a 1800watts lightbulb! *laughs*
MUG MUG MUG! IS OUR LAST LAP! =)

If only ... ... ...

S-T-U-P-I-D

Today's the first paper, and is a damn-fucking-alot-of-expectation paper. Is my favourite module for the sem, but it became a totally cui-ness. I can't do a complusory essay worth 20 marks, and have no time for another 20 marks essay. And I had already wrote like 14 pages worth of chunks... Someone get a knife and kill me please~.

Yesterday was talking to thomas and py over dinner at school. And py was saying that getting into local uni meant u are 10% among the rest, a govt statisitic I guess. Yeah, ironically, I think I shouldn't be here. Is either I was a lucky freak when I apply cause I was at the 9.999999...%, or they put my application into the wrong box. I should be in the "rejection list" you see.

People who know me would know how much efforts I put in this semester. And I never know studies could be such a pain-in-the-ass (yes. I slacked thru my entire pri-sec-poly life). When I put in 100%, people put in 200%. When I put in 200%, people put in 300%. When I put in 300%, people still get the As coz they are genius, and I'm a dumbwit.

And so, my conclusion now is, is either:

1. I'm stupid.

2. I'm damn fucking stupid.

3. My brain is make up of stupid cells, stupid neurons, stupid brain juices.

IF NOT WHAT U TELL ME. I have become millions, trillions times more hardworking this sem, even Jun commented "is my sem" coz i did surprisingly ok for my CAs. But yet I fuck it up again during the exam. Am really truly dissappointed with myself.

1.5 years to go, can I make it?

Thailand Advertisements help in de-stressing

I never know that Thailand has accept the gays to such an extent.
Gay advertisement with condoms!!! Haha.
But the bolster thingy amused me somehow. Haha.



And this next one is awwwww sweet.



Haha, and a very hilarious one. Haha.



Damn, I hope I can write the 5 essays later at 1pm.
Boo. Haha.

Hear me RANT!

Nothing can get into my head anymore!!!
Shall continue tomo morning...
The first paper on sat comprises 5 essays,
Haha, what a way to kickstart.

I hope in just a *blink-blink*
5th Dec 2007, 7pm will come!
And I will go for a good meal with the uni peeps,
And play MJ overnight.
The next day shall see me at Sentosa with butt for a 1-1 outing.
(We have not been having 1-1 outings for ages.)
Hurhur. Yes, I planned ahead!!! - not for the exams though!
Wait long long lah shawn!!

Watched clips on youtube randomly.
And this caught my attention.
Is so sad, but yet so touching.
Nice.

Nothing is the world is greater then the love from the family.

Thanks mum for the afternoon snacks these mugging days. =)

The Finale

School officially ends yesterday. I was so tired that I fall asleep right after school, and skipped the night cardio class due to a bad headache.

Decided to have a dip in the pool after the last biochem test on tues, but the sun failed me. Nonetheless, I had a nice therapeutic swim. My back hurts like ass-being-fcuk after siting too long at the desk these days. Hahaha. (Just an analogy la. Maybe "that" doesn't hurts as much. Haha. How would I know?! LoL.) And I decided not to go for my yearly medical appointment on friday as I think is a waste of time to queue for like two hours, to see the doctor for five mintues. Probably he would have repeat what he said last year, "Swim more, swimming is good for your back."

Sent the cousin to the hospital on the same fateful tuesday night. His cancer is spreading faster then thought, even though he just had an operation two three weeks ago. Life is so vulnerable and unpredictable. We should live each day to the fullest without regrets, cause no one will know what will happen in the next second...

Thanks HK for the blessing all the way from Australia. =) Hope u can get the honours project of ur choice too! =)

And to my fellow muggers:

JIAYOU!

STUDY HARD HARD now, and we PLAY HARD HARD after examS! =)

Exam Stress

I knew I'm having exam stress when I have:

1. Red swollen eyes.
2. Pimples oozing.
3. Insomia, with ketogenesis and glucaneogenesis haunting me.
4. Bad sleeping habit. Woke up at nights, slept in the days.
5. A change in appetite. EATING more then usual!!! Damn! This is the worst of all.

Have a nice chat with Zen on friday, and was happy to hear from him again after 800 years! haha. Army days... no brain cracking activities (e.g. studying), the worst could have been doing COS duties and saikang. Somehow, I miss those days. But having the idea of going back to serve for another 4 months just stop me. Human are just contradicting creatures.

Appreciated the call from WeiHao and sms from Jun today. Little actions like these make me smile for the day. =)

Back to the books. I'm a slow turtle.

Dreams

I hope.
I dream.
I persevere.

I will give my best shot,
Regardless of past failure(s).

Conquering the exams.

*Motivated*

A short break

I need a break today.

And so I had one.

Went siglap for the tues's waffle.

And then bugis for desserts.

Haha. Shiokness.

Thanks buddy.

Tomo marks the start of the biochem revision.

Seriously, I hate them to the core.

It's freaking boring, and requires lot of memory work.

I can't memorize stuffs for nuts.

So I can sense that I will be dead for the paper.

Agrhhhh. Maybe I should try the ginko pills. Haha.

To the fellow muggers:

Happy studying guys! Good luck for the papers.

Exam Phobia

Finished with the food myth poster;
And the Food Safety Assignment.
Left biostats assignment 5 to complete;
And I will be done with the assignments for this sem.
Need to mug for the two dreadful CAs (esp biochem),
Agrhhhh, so many stuffs, so little time.

Exams will last till like 5th DEC!!!
Whereby all my friends in NTU will be enjoying life by then. Boo. =(
(Mr. Li, pls dun call me to inform me THAT, just like u did every sem!!!!)

On a lighter note, HK and PoH are coming back... yay.

This dec shall see me going for JB trips for seafoods, partying at Zouk, fishing with the family, burgies annual birthday dinner (yesh, we are all dec/jan babies), MJ sessions many many, end-of-year shopping trips, Vietnam trip, ...

Anything except school sounds fun. =(

Life and Death

The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends, and the other begins?

Edgar Alan Poe

Every year during Chinese New Year, my dad will bring me to see his aunt, a old woman he respected alot. Daddy was still a poor kid back in the 1960s, and couldn't afford to pay for the 'O' level examination fees. It was my great aunt that lend money from her father-in-law to pay the examination fees for my dad. Till today, daddy is grateful for her kindness. Every year before we visited her, Daddy will tell us (the children) about the incident. Without her, Daddy probably will not be what he is of today. My great-aunt is a cute chubby old woman with rosy cheeks, a head of pure white hair, and with a heart of gold. As usual, she would offer me pineapple tarts, hold my hand in her wrinkled one, telling me "Ah di ah, jia, jia." (Litte boy, eat, eat in teochew). Today, in Ward 53 of NUH, I saw daddy crying as the nurse forced the medicine dissolved in water down her throat using a syringe. Lying in front of the bed was a thin, haggard old woman who no longer smile, and is too weak to even speak up. I almost could not recognise her except for her head of white hairs that remains the same since I was a young boy. She held my dad's hand, looked dearly into his eyes as daddy tried to make her drink some milk which she spilled out eventually. A motherly affection I saw in her eyes, a misery love I saw in dad's watery eyes, and I turned my head away. I couldn't bear to see this... Liver cancer is killing her, and 6 months more is what she has.

Right below her, in Ward 43, lies a young chap who just had an operation to remove cancerous tissues from the colon. Days ahead of him is chemotherapy, blood tests, injections and eventually, death. The cancerous cells has spread to his livers, and the doctor said he probably has a year or two to live. This young chap was my favourite maternal cousin who bought me sweets since I was a young kid, and my mum told me that I loved to be carried by him when I was a toddler. He was also the one who taught me how to fish when I grew up, and would join me and my family for fishing trips every now and then. He didn't finished primary school, and would occasionally popped by my house, asking me to help him read letters. Just last week, he came over and handed me this medical report, a diagnosis test, colon cancer at stage 4. He couldn't believe what the doctor said in that fateful afternoon, and told me to read through it again. All I could to do was to confirm what the doctor told him...

Life is pleasant, death is peaceful, but it's the transition that matters. Hopefully, miracles could have happened. Life is like a game of cards, the way you play it is free will, but eventually you will still draw the death card. Humans will die one day or another, and living life to the fullest would have been the greatest joy ever. Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. I choose to think.

May God Bless Them.

Horror films

Thai song makes me happy.

Dad promised me a trip to Bangkok this coming Dec,

Hopefully as he promised,

Coz I don't want Genting(!).

And the Vietnam trip is confirmed.

Haha, damn happy.

Slacked at home and watched a series of horror shows online on sat. Began the day with 第19层空间 by Gillian Chung, and the movie was a crap. It's a pyschotic game invented by a pervert, and four university girls went to play the game. And in the end, they fall into the 18 levels of hell, and almost died but didn't die at the end. Besides seeing Gillian Chung in the show, there's no attraction values to the show at all.

Next, I watched 三更2之饺子 by 杨千嬅 and 梁家辉, and the movie was just as disappointing. This sequel was way too lousy as compared with the first one on "going home". Basically, it's all about eating unborn babies and having sex and sex and sex. There's an abortion scene that was quite disgusting though. Apparently, hongkong directors are better with love stories I guess. I think that they are still afar in directing horror films as compared with the Japanese or Koreans, and to the Thai in particular.

The Maid, a local horror film was shown on Channel 8 after I finished with the two dissatisfactory movies, and I was kind of impressed by the movie starred by Alessandra de Rossi. The plot is about a maid, Rosa from Philippines that arrived to Singapore to earn money for her sickly brother, and she has to accustom herself to the custom of the Seventh Month, whereby she struggled with the supernatural forces. The maid is employed by a Teochew opera family, who give her a place to stay in their dilapidated shophouse. Little does she knows that in these thirty days of the seventh month, she will be disclosing the hidden secrets of the family, who killed a maid a year ago. I like the premise, but somehow the ending is kind of predictable. Going home with the ashes of the dead maid at the end might sound like a happy ending for Rosa, but what about her brother who was so in need of money for operation. And I think the show will reach another climax, that if, the "non existent" dead maid could come out to give us a scare here and there, instead of showing only the shadow or some scorpions. And pardon me if I'm wrong, cause I don't think we can find scorpions in singapore?!

I continued with two Thai horror movies, the Art of the Devil 2 and the Ghost Game respectively.

Art of the Devil 2 has a pretty second female lead, and is about a sexy village teacher portrayed by Napakpapha Nakprasitte, who was thought to be a flirtatious vixen and a disloyal stepmother. She was caught by her step son and his friends for having sex with a male teacher and was expelled by the school. She then turned to black magic to exact revenge, and killed them one by one two years later when they came back from the capital for holiday. I like the twist in the show's ending, where I discover that she was the victim instead, and was hypnotized to have sex with the male teacher through the work of a bomoh. The plot added in a deadly romance of her step son, who was discovered to be dead two years ago only at the end, and it was his soul that follows the second female lead, ensuring her safety and rescue her from the dangers. Never does I know that, it was due to a fact that, the second female lead set a love curse on him when they were still in their teen years. He killed her at the end so that she could accompany him forever.

Ghost game is a Thai horror film about 11 contestants on a reality TV show who must stay in an abandoned military prison where atrocities took place years before. The film was controversial because the setting closely matched that of Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, where the Khmer Rouge in Thailand's neighbor, Cambodia, tortured prisoners. In the film, the prison was called S-11, which closely resembles the name the Khmer Rouge used for Tuol Sleng, S-21. It also depicts piles of skulls and bones, similar to many war memorials around Cambodia. Basically, this show just scare people without any guessing of the storyline, and it was quite a thrill. I like. =)

Agrhh, Tuesday blue...

The Week

To perceive is to suffer.
How ironical it is.
Heals the shattered heart.
Dries the weeping tears.
Everything will turn up fine.

To fall in love is awfully simple,
To fall out of love is simply awful.
But love is unconditional,
Relationships are not.
Nothing is possible between the impossible.

The greatest pain that comes from love,
Is loving someone you can never have.

The week was quite an emotional week for me, especially the monday. Had a late night talk with a friend on Sunday night, and was affected somehow. The broken heart will heal, but the soul might not. That's the reality about love. To me, I love wholeheartedly with no returns. Seeing the person I like in bliss or surviving well is the happiest thing to me. Yeah, sound way like a loser, but love can't be forced, and I knew the situation way too clear. I was to her, nothing more then just a good friend. But I'm contended this way. =) Is enough to make me smile for the day to see her happy, taken her three meals and leading her life positively. Was shopping with Jun after the mon interview at intercruises with Alvin and Christine. Didn't buy anything, but dropped my hair. Yeah, I had a haircut. Whenever I feel not too good, I will cut my hair. A way of escapism I guess.

Tuesday was a full day in school, and I love wednesday. Prof Ip's practicals are way too fun. Is like back-to-pri-school science experiments, just that things are covered more in depth. And I guess it was this - the most basic and interesting stuffs in Biology that attracts me to science since I was a young kid. Not DNA polymerase nor the kerb's. Finally had my therapeutic swim after pract, and it was great; my back started to hurt again ever since I stopped it for two weeks plus. Went for cardio-exercise class with the buddies after school, and I feel good with their company. A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. I contended to have a couple of them. =)

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.

A Lazy Afternoon

Mood: Laid back, retrophilic
Song: Dream Lover by Bobby Darin

The lazy sunday afternoon's sun shined on my ass before waking up by a phonecall from the best friend. Did nothing much, just some meddle matters here and there, and scheduling my timetable for the week. If only I could sit in a cafe with a book by my fav author, listen to classic old songs from the nearby CD shop, and occasionally observe the expressions of the human beings as they walk by, life might be lightened up.

Out of the blue, I miss the old army days, whereby doing weekend duty was the one and only bad thing in life. No studies, no thoughts about the future, no stress. BMT days were the best days ever. Every night, most of the section 1 guys were gathered on my bed at the corner, shared the snacks we bought during weekend, and talked about anything in the world, with "GIRLS" being the hottest topic. Reminiscening those days, 3101 Lim Zijian, with a hot girlfriend and 3111 Tan Li Jian, Paul were the best people I ever met. We can talk on the bed till like 3am in the morning, risking ourselves from being caught by the sergeants, whereas other people were already in their lala land. We weren't buddies by the way, (my buddy was a troublemaker) but we clicked somehow. Along with that, Zen, Eugene, Kok Leong, Vincent, etc who I spent another four months with after BMT were just as great. It's a pleasure we are still in contact till now.

During Coy PoP Night with LJ and ZJ. Haha. Xdresser!

Army teaches us how to smoke and vulgarities.

Lectures in the forests.
Am the one in the middle, last row.

If only time can be turned back.

Updates.

The world is round,

I thought I will see u again when we parted.

But you never turned up.

It's a laughter filled with saddness.

I thought is kind of ironic,

But I can't stop crying.

And I can't have you either.

I hate emo stuffs, haha. This friday was a good day even though the morning test was horrendous.We skipped the metabolism and regulation lecture right after for lunch at Crystal Jade. I didn't really attend the stats lecture though, coz I spent most of the time talking to Zhenyun and XiaoTong about anything except stats. Haha. Met up with the YEP cliques (Joy in particular), and it was a rather short but nice gathering. If only the time is set slower, and we can cherish stuffs that we missed, then life would have less regrets.

Kumar's show on Sunday was great, though I preferred DimSum Dollies. AngMohs like to fuck asian girls, that's why they are called (cock)casian. Hahahah. Somehow it resembles the Simon's Carbaret show I watched in Phuket, but costs doubly as much.

I knew I'm shorter la!

The fellow audience.

Important people in my life.

There are plannings of Vietnam trip, Xmas's chalet and a show called "A Crazy Chirstmas" by dream academy production coming up next. I'm damn looking forward to December. *Blink blink* Before that... ... ... THE EXAMS!!! -_-"

Awaiting the December...

Killed by Phage

Someone!!!

Please invent a big fat phage that can infect me.

Let it goes through the lytic pathway, so it can kill me entirely.

I'm done with phage's lecture notes after five hours of fullest attention,

But I know nuts when I was re-attempting the assessment questions.

*bleahz*

If only my brain is a genius's brain...

Not too Positive About Life and Dreams

I accidently just squeezed a quarter of a bottle of moisturizer on my hand that I dunno what to do with it. So I applied it onto my face, and it look extremely white now. If I wake up tomorrow with a flawless face with acnes all gone, I will recommend it to u guys. *bleahz* $$$$$$! *sobz*

School was extremely bad, and I'm definitely a slow worker. Food n Health assignment was such a chore that took up most of my time for the week. Biochem Test on tues was such a failure that I think I should give up on myself entirely. I swore I put in 100% effort and it wasn't the most difficult paper I ever sat for. But my mind just went blank. The 40% M.Bio this coming friday saw me only completing a chapter out of 10. Agrhhhh, and now, my mind was hypnotizing me that I shouln't study so hard in case history repeats by itself. I'm so dead! If things continue this way, my dream of going for Masters at the desired university in Australia will be a no-no.

Met up with Fiona and guys for Alex's birthday celebration yesterday. The event was kind of chui, and I dunno what I can do about it. I'm just sorry. Sidetracked, Darren was saying during the dinner about how the more we study, the lesser the probability that we will come out to venture our business. And he said it rather randomly about a meeting we once had, and a dream we once shared. Sadly, years back, 18, 19 or so, Darren, Hua, Tingz and I did had a dream.

Four just-grown-kids sat in the TCC at Millenia Walk one day. They had a meeting that was planned and opening a cafe was their agenda for the day. The ideal cafe was branded, characterized with a theme, and even the target groups was selected. Each of us had our own position(s). Hua will be the PR manager since she loves to communicate. Tingz will be the FnB manager since she will be in charge of the main dishes and pastries after learning it in Italy. Darren could be the advertising and accounting manager since he manages money reasonably well, and we think he is good looking enough to be the spokeperson for the cafe. Then I shall be the coffee connoisseur (since I will be going italy too for coffee studies) and HR manager since they rated me as someone who do things orderly and well-organised with rules and regulations (not flexible lah!). But I'm happily accepting the position coz I will be able to select all the waitresses myself and I promised myself no waiters, hurhur).

I told Darren, "Yes, we will do that in years time after we graduate." He replied with a nod, "Yeah, after we get our very own capital." I gave a silent nod, and visualized that faraway dream that is still so distant and blur. A dream? A hope? I hope we will make it there.

And now, I seriously hate growing up.

Brokeback Mountain Once More

Saw me driving home along the expressway;
After sending the best friends home from our usual cuppas.
With an old album I digged from the car.
"Brokeback Mountain OST" it is.

No, don't justify me as a gay cause I cried in the show.

The music has this soothing effect on me.

The rain has an add-on factor.

And I get myself into this emo state.

The movie was beautiful;

The story was god-made.

Emmylou Harris's voice was angelic;

For "a love that will never grow old".

Growing Up

Feeling rather sluggish and lethargic today.
The study mood isn't there either.
And so I let my mind wander...

Out of no reason,
I remembered the scene at a 3 star hotel at KL,
Whereby I had my first trip with the poly peeps at 17.
Fiona, meihua and I shared the same room,
And there I was disturbing them with a "smelly pillow" early in the morning.
I somehow missed the laughter we once shared.

Then I drifted further up to T.Bintan,
Laying on the beach, gazing up into the sky.
Many shooting stars I saw,
With this girl I lost contact with.

Then I dreamt back to an evening 9 years ago,
Somewhere outside the school bus stop.
Jun, Gl and I was waiting for the bus home,
We were planning to choose the same class after streaming
(we weren't in the same class back then).
And we ended up being real friends for life.

Little moments like these are remembered for a life time,
Though each of us grew up selecting diff pathways in lives,
We once crossed while walking thru our pathways,
And it's fate that bought us together.

Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were.
You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew
it was time to let go of what had been and look ahead to
what would be. Other days, now days, days to come.
The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting
older. We just had to forgive ourselves for growing up.

As we grow older, things must change,
But they don't always have to end.
Even though it is different now,
My friends are still my dearest friends.

I don't wanna but i'm growing up.

Recess Week = Hell Week

Welcomez to hell week!

YeaH! Time flies real fast. Recess week comes as fast as I got adapt to the new sem. 40% MBio test, 20% BioChem test, 10% food and Health assignment are on due after the hell week. Sobz. How great was that. Haha. I did had my fair share of fun the week before though.

TUESDAY - After physiology test last tues, I went to bake with the galfriends. (And I think I was the best baker! Haha).

My double chocolate cake.

Supposely chocolate truffle cake, that tastes like the one above.

Butt with her muffin lookalike cupcake.

My done-for-the-day.

WEDNESDAY - Went to Zouk with Jun and some sec friends on Wed. The whole phuture seems more like a "gay night" then mambo night, and the worst could have been the two transexuals that came and danced besides me. -_-" The music was good though, not until I vomit the next moment I reached home... I got myself a weak stomach (or maybe liver) ever since the last drunk scene at Phuket.

THURSDAY - Basically, I slept the whole day.

FRIDAY - Went for MJ after school with the uni peeps, and cabbed down to Zouk to find Kris right after. I didn't managed to get in the end, and luckily brother was around town to fetch me home. Called the best friend up for supper after I changed into a pair of shorts, and we spent a good session racing at the arcade.

SATURDAY - It was the "Mid Semester Break Celebration Dinner" with the uni cliques. Waraku at Cuppage was as good as the one at Marina Square. Caught a flick - Underdog, before heading towards Harry's for a drink. My drink tasted like fruit punch though, and zeewai got the worst drink - diluted lime water, whatever u call it, haha! Let's work hard for the upcoming tests guys!!! Pictures up later after I get it from Alvin.

SUNDAY - Breakfast with the burgies at Jalan Kayu could have been the weirdest thing a bunch of guys would do since all of us live in the west. But this could have been one of the most "ordinary" thing we have had done over the ten years. The routine updates of their lives, marvellous roti prata, with selegie's soya bean milk, they made my day with a smile. Brotherly love. 10 years friendship with them was something I cherished alot, and I hope that are many more 10 years to count on. Caught Chunk and Larry at Jurong Point thereafter, and it was good! I have a great laugh. I don't mind being Larry in the show!!! Heh.

MONDAY - I slept till 6:30 pm. 18 hours in total. *claps*

TUESDAY (today) - I shall go for a morning gym session, follow by a 20 laps swim, finish up food and health, and have a haircut... =)

Back to the books on WednesdaY!

A Changing Me

In the later half of this year, I think I did many things I never did before. I thought more about my future, and am working really hard towards it for the first time in my life. My lifestyle changed entirely; outings were minimized, late night calls were reduced. I spent most of the time in the Mac trying to figure those great discoveries and theories by those "already dead" molecular biologists and physiologists. I just can't imagined doing "last min" studies like I did for the secondary and poly years, as well as uni first year. I would prolly submit an empty paper if I did that again this sem. Year 2 is no child play. Hopefully, I would get what I deserved at the end of the year.

As I got myself busy with those study stuffs, I found out how much I neglected my dear friends and family. Need to do something about it. Nothing is more then having a superhotnicecuppa with the budds in the cafe, or having a simple weekend breakfast with the folks at the market. I miss real fun. On the lighter note, I'm lucky to have a bunch of nice uni cliques to play chee-go-ba and hei-bai-pei with me during boring lectures. LoL.

I am damn-looking-forward to the December holidays.

Pouring the Stress Away

It's not an easy task to act cheerful and happy on the outside, when deep inside, the tears are actually flowing uncontrollably.

It's hard being stressed out and desperately need a shoulder to cry on, but yet got to appear strong and jovial as that's what people brand you as.

I had a great night run today. A long slow run from my-house-to-clementi-and-back-to-my-house to readjust my thoughts of current situation. I felt really helpless with schoolwork these days, and never have enough time for the tutorials. Boo. I read finished chapters and chapters of lecture notes (today), only to find out I know nothing while trying to attempt those tutorial questions. Molecular Biology wasn't as fun as I used to think it is, Biochemistry is still as detestable as ever. Passionate in life sciences doesn't mean I could excel in it, and I know I can't. It is just not in me. Somehow, I missed the old (poly) days, my freedom, and my happy-go-lucky nature. Saw a shooting star when running back just now, and I made a wish. And I hope it will be a wish come true.

Physiology CA coming up next...

HAIRSPRAY-ING

It's almost 4am in the morning, and I'm not even on the first page of the molecular biology notes. Test in two days time, and I'm so unprepared! I declined a clubbing invitation today, intended to catch up with the studies, but went to watch Hairspray instead. Haha, and it was good! Heh. Queen Latifah's voice was power, I like it. But I thought that James Marsden got more charm then Zac EfroN! Zac was a good male protagonist of the show though. He just will grab people's attention. HAha. Nikki Blonsky's "Good Morning Baltimore" was ear pleasing, Zac's Ladies' Choice was my favourite, and Queen's "I know where I've been" was damn touching. Will get back to the books after a good night rest. Happy studying fellow muggers! Nice gathering with u ppl tonight. =)

THE CELL kills me.
Feel like watching High School Musical agaiN!

A not-so-normal day in school

Today was a (not-so) normal day in school...

I managed to wake up at 8am in the morning to follow my old man and his wife to send the brother to his workplace. Then, while having breakfast at tanjong pagar, I discovered my right contact lenses was broken. And so dad had to sent me to school first since I was running late, went back home to grab me another new pair. Boo hoo hoo. What a day to kickstart his off day.

And then during molecular biology lecture, I dropped my lecture notes not once, but twice. And while trying to catch hold of the lecture notes the second time, my blue highlighter flew off from my hand, and dropped onto a girl siting two rows(!) in front of me. And I heard giggles and laughters around me in a spilt second. *faint*

Lunch was okay with the favourite people, but when we went to this health analysis at the bazzar, I almost fainted to find out that my metabollic age was far far away from the norm!!! Haha, and Alvin told me to be skeptical about it. Heh. And then, when we decided to register for this year Night Cycling (in hope to reduce my body fat content a little), only to discover the registration was full at the booth. Oh yeah, did I mentioned there was no enough seats for my computer based stats tutorial, so eventually I got to give it a miss? LoL. *dotz*

Stats lecture was the last lesson for the day. I dropped my pencilbox once, and got a big bang to see an acquaintance who I don't really like his attitude, dress sense, hairstyle to carry the same bag as me!!! Tell me about great taste! *bleahz*

The day ended with the rain started to pour after Zhenyun and guys reached their bus stop, and I still got quite a walking distance towards mine. Ironically, the rain stopped when I was on the bus, only to start drizzle again when I reached my house bus stop, which was seven stops away... -_-"

What a (normal) day!

Over the Rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow,

I saw an white angel with lovely wings.

She will sprinkle love and joy to people,

Who saw the colour bands.

Somewhere over the rainbow,

I saw happiness and harmony.

I will love to be there one day,

But yet the sky is still dark.

(And the rain never stops).

Love Love Love

Talked to a few friends with love problems these days.

Love could be such a pain in the ass.

Is good to be single at times too.

Bless u guys.

Rainy thoughts

Tears are like rain;
There's always a seasonal downpour.
Today, the sky tears.
Today, I had a downpour too.

I would like to see the rainbow after rain.

I would wish to see the sun rays of the new season.

Summer shall be the new season (of love).

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Sidetracked, mini birthday celebration for the favourite guy on Monday:

I love raining days.

Smile with Friends

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living! - Amanda Bradley

1. Thanks Thomas the bro, for the burnt CD.

2. Thanks BaoLian the babe, for the damnfreakingexpenisve textbook.

3. And of course, thanks Ah-hua the butt, for the sweet-lovely cupcakes.

Very often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring and sharing, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Little actions like this made me smile from the heart and felt much appreciated. I heart friends.

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And so thursday was great. Went swimming with GuoLiang, and headed towards NTU to find MeiHua and BaoLian. Managed to saw Kris, but where's Kok Guan who's turning 25?!?!! Haha. See you people on Monday! =) KTVing with Tingz and Hua at Kbox, and I'm seriously need to frequent there more. I've totally lost tracked of new chinese songs, lol. But I still love the singing session with soulmates. Heh.

Today was a Bachelor's night-out with the guys. Had dinner at Holland Village, before heading towards dempsey hill for coffee. We ended up in this super nice cafe called "PS" that serves fabulous desserts. Though a short meet, it's still great that we are still updating our lives and remain close after 10 freaking long years. A bond since 1997, a friendship that lasts 10 years and still counting on. From boys we became men, but the tie still remains. And there will be many more 10 years to count on. =) Our laughs are limitless. Our memories are countless. Our friendship is endless.

And, I still didn't managed to eat my Ben and Jerry's ice cream!!! Hahaa, shoutout to Thomas and Peiyan, and the rest of the uni cliques, "ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!! ICE CREAM!!!". Alvin should skip tuition for once, Zhenyun we can wait for a week... Keke. And talking about that, when are we MJ-ing?!?!?!?!?!

True friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

The School Race

Today's an efficient day. I read n study through the first copy of lecture notes of Metabolism and Regulation; a module I have phobia with due to its "biochemistry" nature - all those catabolism, anabolism, electron transfer chain, oxidative phosphorylation, blah blah... yucks(!).

My buddy cum study mate.

Evidence showing I did study!

Managed to sell off my economics text and the no-one-can-understand-what-the-fuck-it-is-all-about biochemistry textbook for LSM1101. I hate incomprehensible textbooks that make chim stuffs more chim. Haha. Bought Voet's Biochemistry today for LSm2101, which is somehow readable. Will be meeting two girls on wednesday to sell off my organic chem and bioDiversity; hopefully they would really buy.

Managed to grab a 2nd hand NutritionNow textbook with XiaoTong's help. And I really really really got to thank Baolian for lending me Molecular Biology for THE CELL that would have cost me another 2 fifty dollars notes. And of course my dearest butt, the FedEx deliverywoman who will be bringing me the big heavy greyish book. =P Haha. Love u girls!

Managed to get my desired time slot for stats tutorial. And to add on, I have Alvin as my tutorial mate. Double yayness! Hopefully Zhenyun can get it too through manual registeration...

And to sidetrack a little, I'm eyeing on this cardigan from Topman!

Haha. Always thought that such caridgans make fat guys more fat. Haha, until I tried it today and fall in love with it. Woot. But it costs a fucking 103 bucks! LoL, wait till I lost some weights, shred off the double chin, I will get it at a smaller size! Zhen xiao mei, kao ni de supervision le!

I wanna to get back to at least this shape (dated more then 3 years ago!):

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Pardon the kiam-pa face. Haha.

12 weeks race begins!

My childhood fav songs

Rainy days like today is good to stay at home and hibernate. Tomorrow I will go for a good swim (if the sun is good to me) and touch on the books. First to begin, BIOCHEMISTRY!! =)

I came upon these by chance, and pretty sure everyone (around my age) will love them, unless you have a deprived childhood or live in a different era!!! Haha. I love this songs!!! First to being with: Good morning, SIR!

Then I grew up addicted to the gambling sessions at Coral Island's Casino watching 双天至尊. Yan Fei was brother's favourite, and he did showed some great card stunts to me back then. I remembered idolizing ex-TCS actress, Lin Qian Ping in the second series. Another hottie! Haha. I was into "eye candy"-ing even at a young age!

Then at Pri 5, I was envying my brother and sister who have went through secondary schools after watching Yang Guang Lie Che. Ann Kok (Xiao Jin) was my favourite then... But now, I like her figure more. Heh heh.

And of course, I wouldn't forget the famous and evergreen Guan Hai Fang Shi song from 七月俏佳人 that everyone still know how to sing. Those days rawks.

Channel 8's drama wasn't as great these days.

Very Random Indeed

It's almost 6am in the morning and I couldn't sleep. Listening repeatedly to "Love Me" by Colin Raye; a song that makes my heart soothe whenever I'm feeling down/lost/can't sleep. Apparently, in this case, it's definitely the latter.

School officially starts on Tuesday. Had lessons from 8am-6pm with just a miserable two hours break in between. Modules taken so far are mylike except stats, which has been my most detestable subject since polytechnic, or even secondary school if A-maths or E-maths are counted. E montonous lecturer who has been teaching stats since 1997 doesn't make it any better. He's still using transparencies after donkey years. But oh yeah, I love my food-and-health lecturer. He talked as if he was drunk(!), and the notes were quite "digestable".

Talking about school, I have so many stuffs in mind. First to mention, I was happy to see many familiar faces around in campus. From those uni cliques I sat with, to those OG mates / lecture mates I happened to bump to and had small chats. Kris was supposed to be with me this year, but he decided to *jump to NTU which provides him with the direct honours. I doubt I would have the chance to do my honours in NUS, my results was far from ideal, and the 3 months summer vacation had already brainwashed away those metabollic pathways, DNA transcription and translation processes from my brawny brain. Nonetheless, I put in another extra 100% effort into this sem.

Starting with second year means I'm 1/3 through my uni life in NUS (even though I would have already get a degree back if I went to Australia a year ago). It seems so slow, but yet so fast. I intend to go for a summer exchange with GL after this academic year. Perhaps, another one to the english countries if I'm able to make it to the honours. And after graduate, I have my plans too (thou I somehow hate my capricon's nature of planning too ahead). Cause sometimes dreams could have been so different from reality. And I will end up so different from what I want in life. I really hope to do graduate studies in Canada or USA if I got a chance to, to expose to new things, and climb up the widen horizons. Coming back to reality, getting a MBA and do sales in life sciences will do fine for me though. Whatever! We will see in two years time. Randomness.

Pictures from Phuket as promised:

Some platonic loves.

Girls.

Sun, beach, coconuts!!!

Shawn Tay

The first dinner at Phuket, and the Kampung durians.

Cannoe Island, James Bond Island, Seafood Lunch.

Tour Guide's house and Simon's Carbaret.

The drunk scene.

Finally, the beach.

That's all folks.

The Walk

The day ened up with a loud smoky fucking bang with the best friend. Nothing much, perhaps just an out-of-no-where agruement. Egoism and pride filled us both, and so we fucked. Anyway good luck dude, you have my blessing (and call me soon)!

Unleashed of the thoughts and feelings, I decided to let it all a go. Enough means enough, it's the finale. I'm all ready and set up to take the walk. Walk out of the insanity and uncertainties, find my comfort zone and gain back reality. Realism could be bitch, but still, O' freak, I fucking need to take the walk.

The walk is of misery and confusion. Confusion has me strung out and desperate. My whole world is made of disillusion and pity, nothing more than a mirage, transparent, nonexistent. Only the winners out of the fucking losers went through the walk. Some survived, some found dead. My mental stability would reached its bitter end if I don't take the walk. Caged in, locked down, I prayed to the empty god to relieve my pain, fix me, heal me, save me, or even, screw me.

Truth has exploded within me to own my shit, to do it, to be the best I can be after I have had the walk. I know I can do it though I'm scared like a pussy. But the joy overpowers the rest of me to be determined. No fucking thing is going to stand in my way. Nothing, but my ego and sneakiness that is. I truly honestly do not care anymore what people say or think, but I'm going to take the walk they asked me to. My dreams will finally come to light , and I won't be alone again.

Walking...

Last Day of Work

Yesterday saw me finishing the last day of work before heading towards VivoCity for the free movie event organised by the company. Rush Hour 3 wasn't too bad, and the free popcorns and coke made everything a good deal. Went shopping right after; and initially, I just planned to just get the white belt I wanted to buy sometimes back from River Island at 59 bucks. But the shop was having sales, so I ended up leaving the shop with another three tees, spending 99 bucks in total! -_-"

Met up the uni peeps at Netball Carnival, before heading towards the east for the famous HK cafe. Went "eek-ing" at Changi Village before calling it a day. The company was good, and so was the day. =)

Sidetracked, I will be having a very "biological" sem this coming semester. Haha. Will be taking:

1. Metabolism and Regulation
2. Molecular Biology
3. Introductory to Biostatistics
4. General Physiology
5. Food and Health

Wonder will I survive through the exams....

School blues.

These days

I'm back from Phuket!
It was fun, but I got hooked up by a gay! -_-"
I seems to have affinity towards gays! *sad*
Pictures up much later,
My notebook is spolit,
And I using a damn old com now.
(I could even find a "normal" USB port to plug.)
Boo.

The weekend was well spent.
Met up with Kris and guys on fri night.
Chilled out at Rochester Park,
Nice ambience indeed.
And Kris decided to dump me alone in NUS for NTU biological sciences.
Haha. Met up with the poly cliques on sat for MH's birthday.
And we came back to my house to open two tables of MJ!
I hope everyone (besides Darren) had fuN!
And Darren, I will give u free lesson soon.
Trust me, MJ could be addictive.

Met up with Jun after sending some of the guys home.
Emo shits, emo guys, emo talk.
I guess he was right,
I was too egoistic among all his friends,
And thus, ended myself up in this pathetic state I'm today.
It's an irony when I'm opening both hands to welcome the new world,
And things ended up dramatically.
Life is meant to be that sad anyway,
So i think it's kind of normal to have life being miserable.
Haha. What an agony as what jun suggested.
I will work hard on it again.

Anyway congrats bro, u broke the curse. =)

Cherish her, and stay happy and cheerful.
U are blessed, by me. Brotherly love.

Agonized Shawn.

Shawn's Mansion

Based on the drawing and the 10 answers they gave this is a summary of their personality:

You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. son. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be. You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. You don't think much about yourself.

Draw a house