I'm a old man!!!

Feeling: Overwhelmed with those cell cycle proteins that begin their synthesis after that fucker gatekeeper - retinoplasma protein knocked down!
Current Read: Chang's notes left untouched and exam in 14 hours time!
Song: 阳光宅男 by Jay Chou

Wa lau eh!
Go die la.
I'm a old man.

Sobz. =(

Myidk.com鑑定結果您的精神年齡29歲
與您實際年齡差6歲
幼稚度52％
成熟度68％
老化度25％

宣傳給朋友: Click Click

Eh, I shall put off as I'm a young man with a mature mindset! Wheeeeee! =P

成熟稳重 you know?! Haha.

1 down, 2 to go

I hate the feeling of coming out of the examination hall, knowing I have flunked a paper (yet again). The whole semester's effort came to a waste, and the worst could have been that it has been my favourite module all these while. Is not a difficult paper to begin with, just that I only have myself to blame lah. Fuck. -_-" I should have start my revision earlier.

Click here.

To be frank, the only thing I learnt in university is to memorize. You can memorize, you can score. And if you can't, you will die just like me. I think that applies to all education levels in singapore's context yeah.

Cell biology and bioinformatics coming up next. I reckon the former won't be easy to dealt with. It's a test of memory again! The common test results weren't too bad for both, just that the verdict is not out until the exams. Eight more days to go!!! AgrhhhhH!

5th of May, seems so near yet so far...
But i can see some light ahead, =)
Genting with the cousin (pending)
Thailand with the sister (confirmed!).
HongKong with the butt and Gl the bro (pending).

And maybe that Canada's student exchange.
(that is if I manage to get de scholarship)
=)

The Walk

Feeling: Came back from the dead
Current Read: Perfume and Cosmetics notes
Song: Journey by Corrinne May

I went through seven mountains this week.

My mind was once filled with emptiness and angst; and I fucked it. I stumbled into a dead hole of mirage and delusion; an unfamiliar place of no misery and sorrow. There's no reality in there. And before I gained back conscious, everything's too late. I knew I got to take the walk, the walk back to misery and pain. The walk back to reality. It was real hard. No one want reality. No one want the truth.

But still, I took the walk.

And today, I looked through the reflection from the mirror. I saw a pale man with very dark circles and had a great laugh. What a joke I created on myself.

Now, that's reality.

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I tried that colourgenics test. Is kindda accurate, at least in my context. =)

You are constantly hoping that your good fellowship and attitude and your 'love for your fellow man (or women)' will give you peace of mind. You need people - people around you to care for you and to show you that they care. It is this hope that keeps you going, the hope that makes you the type of person that indeed you are. Your own need for approval seemingly makes you always ready to help others and in exchange you seek love, warmth and understanding. You will always listen to others and you are open to new ideas which hopefully will prove fruitful and interesting.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

You are feeling under considerable pressure and you are being forced to make concessions. You are not particularly happy with this state of affairs but you feel that you have no alternative. If you were to force issues you would be left out or completely ignored by one and all.

Whatever has caused the situation, you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam... One minute you experience 'highs' and a few moments later 'lows'. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude - the ideal state you desire is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.

You feel that you need to move on. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'. Failure to do so will not afford you the conditions to prove your worth.

21st Singapore International Film Festival - The Finalist

Feeling: Chirpy :-)
Current Read: Teo Tian Seng's Cell Bio notes
Song: Life story

Watched The finalist at De Substation with Jerry and Nix today. Besides the bad hard seats that made my ass cracked, the film was actually nice. And that was a huge swarm of eye candies around for you to eye on (that's if you are gay). Haha. Anyway, the film was quite an eye opening.

Keluar Baris, Boo Junfeng's segment was first on the list. "Fall out" was actually the English translation for Keluar Baris. And the segment portrayed a 18 years old guy who returns home from his studies in Europe two days before he is enlisted into the army. This story is about his personal struggle between national duties and personal liberty. Perhaps I expected alot more from Boo, this film was rather disappointing. No emotions, no fanciful scenes. I guess “ultimate sianz-ness” is what the director was trying to convey.

Wet Seasons by Michael Tay coming up next was rather refreshing. Wet Seasons is a tribute to Michael’s father who passed away six years ago, and is told in a combination of live-action and stop-motion animation. Instead of going it through the hard way of lots of emotions, sorrow and dejection, this film linked the father and son together with the idea of how men are linked to their right hand (or left for some) - yeah, it's masturbation (if you are thinking real hard now). It symbolized how different were they in thoughts, and yet there is sure to be some similarities somewhere, somehow. The emphasis on "they never masturbate together" indicated how distant they were. If they could masturbate together before then old man died, things might be different. I guess here sounds abit exotic, coz no one in the hell would want to masturbate with their daddies (for me at least). Haha, but I guess the director was just trying to convey the message that if both the son and dad opened their heart to one another, perhaps things will be different. Isn’t this what all of us are going through with our folks? I like this segment. It keeps me smiling.

Para Asia (For Asia) by Fran Borgia caught some hot tears of mine. Is so simple and sad of how can one young man came to terms with the death of his beloved wife, as we followed him as he finds his ways to keep the memories alive. The whole film was in black and white as the man misses his wife, and colors only appeared when the man managed to make a film out of his wife using old photos. Like what the film said at the end, “do not live in the past, when the past is not ending yet.”

The rest includes:

Love Me, Love My Dogs by Lincoln Chia Zhicheng – The film is about this transsexual and her obsessions with dogs. It portrays how one can get possessed with something.

My Home, My Heaven by a talented student by a Ngee ann polytechnic student. Ahmad, a juvenile delinquent, is released from his time in a Boy’s Home. After his return home, Ahmad finds himself at crossroads again despite his efforts to redeem himself from the past.

Kallang Roar by Cheng Ding - The last hope for Singapore football is in the hands of the uncontrollable eccentric genius Singapore coach, Uncle Choo. The tumultuous relationship between Football Association Chairman, Mr Ganesan and Uncle Choo is further tested as they both fight passionately to restore the Kallang roar in 1977.

Silent Girls by Ric Aw. - Two 16-year-old girls get lost in the strange world of love, sex and the internet. Damn it, it really focus on how stupid some young girls are, and how bastard some guys are!!!

Support local film!

emotionless

Feeling: Apathetic
Current Read: Teo Tian Seng's Cell Bio notes
Song: SUPERMAN

I just woke up (time read: 11.52pm)! Yeah, and I was on the bed since 4am in the morning. Can't really figure out the fuck of how and why can I sleep for so long. Haha. And the stomach is growling right now (Mum didn't cook dinner today - she's MJing!). -_-"

Yesterday's practical was freaking long. 12pm - 7pm, a total of 7 hours. Sneaked out of the lab for a seminar talk by SHISEIDO for my very himbotic module (perfume and cosmetics) while running PCR. Hahaha., and what the hell, cosmetics really makes wonder. 世界上没有丑女人，只有懒女人。

Celebrated mum's birthday at Novena last sunday. And dad bought us a new camera! Haha, Cannon Ixus 80. I wanted the gold or pink one, but bro insisted on the silver. =( But still, really like the functions of the camera.

Moi postcard for the Perfume and Cosmetics module.

Mum was traumatized to see the number of candles. Haha.

Mum making a wish.
Happy 58th Birthday mummy.
Thanks for being there when I need you.
Thanks for being my alarm clock every morning.
Thanks for the nags that keeps me growing.
Thanks for everything.

Getting bored with mugging. I love green.

BLUE! haha.

I got 5 webcast to go for cell biology! -_-'

ten hours in total

From the heart: I'm so terrified and fearful of everything and anything. I always plan well ahead, sometimes too ahead. When there is a problem to get to what I want, or where I want to be, I will try all ways to resolve the situations. I managed to resolve them most of the time, and continue with life as it ought to be. But now, the current situation is traumatizing. And I have tried all ways to work it out. I try to resolve the shit, I make new plans; I believe that doggedness and perseverance will get me to what I want in the future. But no, I was wrong. My perseverance didn’t keep me going. The situation is like a deep hole that I fall into, that is so unfathomable. And I saw myself crying in that bottomless pit.

Today's a slack day

I’m definitely an ultimate slacker. I purposely skipped school today to study for the upcoming test next Wednesday. But in the end I woke up at 4pm, and did really nothing. I stoned at the window side with a hot cuppa after washing up, and daydreamed as the rain started to pour. It was quite relaxing actually. Doing nothing is good at times, but not at this extreme period when works are piling up, projects are on due and exams are coming. Anyway, I decided to read through the experimental CA protocol after I finished with the cuppa. But in the end I began to surf the net when I tried to switch on the notebook for some music. I was so into net surfing that it seems like just five minutes before dad called me to eat dinner at 8pm. That’s when my favorite drama came into play at 9pm (luckily tomo the last episode). Brother’s girlfriend, who was a former NUS undergraduate, came back with him not long after. And I went on chatting with her about school for quite awhile while brother was settling some work. I went back to the com at 11pm where I started to check for email. Opening the MSN was a wrong choice, but the worst could have been searching the net for nice beaches. I am so damn engrossed with the beautiful beaches that I nearly forget the exam I have to go through before the 3 months break. Anyway the beaches are so god damn nice.

Look at that clear beach at Pulau Dayang!!!

Pulau Perhentian not too bad either!

I WANT TO GO DIVING AT PULAU DAYANG!!! But then again, how could I go when my favorite diving partners are at Canada and Australia respectively. Boo. *cry* Come back guys! Waiting for butt to get her diving license this June, and then I can plan many dive outings. Haha. May, June and July are meant for partying (since it’s the holiday) and are the best time to head to the beach! YeahhhhhhH!!!! Not forgetting the birthdays of many close friends during the three months break. Haha. Im so damn looking forward...

But fuck that exam before that. =(

I met my uncle

Feeling: Shocked
Film: 恶作剧2吻第16集
Song: 你一直都在

Alvin Tay decided not be my friend anymore!

We are no longer friends. No longer.

Nope, we didn't quarrelled.

He just decided not to befriend me;

But be my uncle instead!!!

Haha, that sounds wrong.

But yeah, he's officially my UNCLE.

Confused? Haha. Im as confused too.

Okie, here's the story. Alvin is one of my best cliques in the university. We knew one another cause our surenames are both tay, and we were allocated to the same lab bench with another bunch of cute crazy people 2 years ago. From then onwards, we basically do everything together in school - from eating to taking same modules to having talkcocksingsong sessions. Yup, we became close friends. Once, he even commented about how sad he is that his Ah Gong decided to settle down in Lim Chu Kang instead of the east, if not he will be richer. "Damn!", I told him, and told him my grandparents settled in Lim Chu Kang too. Nothing crossed my mind at that moment of time.

Then on monday this week, Al told me in school that his uncle (father's brother) passed away on Sunday due to a heart attack while driving the lorry at Bukit Batok. His uncle's funeral was at Bukit Panjang. I commented that life is so vulnerable, and told him to take care. Then on AprilFooL the day before yesterday, I overheard my mum reminding the dad to go for a funeral at Bukit Panjang on the phone. Being curious, I asked who, and my mum told me it was a long distance relative who passed away due to a heart attack. I thought it couldn't be so lucky that they are referring to the same funeral. So I called up Alvin (who was about to eat his Mac) and asked the name of his dead uncle. And mum verified that the dead relative was really Alvin's uncle!!! Alvin's dead uncle is my granduncle! And hence, Alvin Tay is my uncle literally! *faint* Then I asked Alvin to list all his uncles' and aunties' names, and I was shocked that Mum knows each and everyone of them. They all lived beside one another many many years ago, in the same Kampung. And we are really relatives! haha.

Seriously, I took more then a hour to figure out the family tree. And now, from my understanding is that Alvin's grandfather and my great grandfather are real blood related brothers. So Alvin's father and my grandfather are close related cousins. And thus, Alvin and my dad are long distance cousins. And this make Alvin my long distance uncle!!! *faint* Haha.

We were joking that luckily we are not gay couple, if not we can film Brokeback Mountain 2 already! Haha, or if he was a girl and we fall in love, then this will be crazy! Incest can! Haha.

And this is not a aprilfool joke. haha.