To an Especially Important Friend

Dear buddy,

I know that you are going through the lowest point of your life. But as you are drowning in your own tears, stumble wearily through obstacles and problems, stress and worries; just remember that I’m always here, right beside you, to care. Sometimes, things are just difficult to convey through the mouth you see; especially between us, two big guys. But seeing you burst down in tears in the car, I’m suddenly lost of words. I hope our presence just now did make you better, at least, by a bit.

God is never fair, brother. Some people are just better off then others. Some work hard to score, while some merely put in much effort to have the same outcome. This is how unfair life could be. But as you sank into your agony, complaining how devastated life is, do believe that god did do some justice. At least, you are here, healthy and strong to look after your sickly parents. At least you are here, with a strong will to provide her with care and concern she need at least for the next two years. You got to be strong, because you are the only one left, the only pillar for them to rely on.

Life could have been agonizing but life could have been as fun as well. Reminiscing those days where we laughed like cocks in movies, those sessions spent in cafes and restaurants, gossiping about anything under the sky, etc. Those have become parts of my memories. To be in simple, friends are here to care. Trust me, you will make it big one day if you don’t give up. Life is a long journey. Not everyday is a sunny day, but neither all are gloomy. Try waking up everyday with a smile, telling yourself today is a happy day, and you will be happy eventually. I know it could be tiring to face so much in life. It’s definitely not easy for a 22 years old lively young man to feel the burden of someone a hundred. You will have my support. And I’m always here to share. This world is in such disarray. Pathetic and sad. Cold and distant. But as you walk through this life, and through this living hell, a real happiness is awaiting for you. Endure. My strong friend.

Countdown to X'mas -> 10 days

Haha, Lyon has uploaded the pictures taken during the publicity wave. And so, I shall post some here. Funny geisha, "no one want to press" magician, "peeping mary" box, haha, good job people! =)

Yet another fulfilling week. =)

Monday was spent resting at home, after a hectic week of publicity wave. Nothing is more comfy then lying on the bed, tunning on some fine music, flipping some fashion magazines. To add on, it was a rainy day. And so, I hide myself under my blanket, replenishing the energy I had used up then.

Tuesday turned out fine too. Went shopping with Mum and Sis at Vivo City. Women are horrendous!!! Basically, they bought a wardrobe of clothes! Sis insisted on buying me a GAP sweater for the cold lecture halls, but I declined the offer, in case I really quit school next sem. CHOY!!! We shall see bout it. =P

MJ session again with Huanxin, Joon and Vivien on Wednesday. And guess what, this is the first time I won some money for the year after so many MJ sessions (The calendar reads December thou)!!! Met up with Tingz, Butt, Jun and Kiat to plan Taiwan Itinerary thereafter. Hmmmm, I'm really getting excited about the Taiwan trip, except for the fact that results will be out on the third day of the trip put everything to a off. -_-"

Met up with the army guys on Thursday. It's amazing about how we are taking different pathways of life now. Eugene gone to further his studies at ANU (australia), while Ben, Vincent, Yiping and I are in NTU, SMU and NUS respectively. KuaiLan, Jimmy and Wenchuan had oreodi found their jobs, while Zen decided to be his own boss. Haha, and yet we were once the blur like sotong chao recruits bitching about how army kill us back then. =)

And today, Jun, butt and butt's friend Meiqi are coming to my house for MJ session again!!! I will make sure I make a hole in their wallets later. Kekeke. Always feel comfortable and relax at this period of the year. This year Xmas I shall be make it a difference. No more parties nor countdown, just hope to spent the night at home accompanying my family. =)

This Christmas won't be lonely, cause I've longed given up. =)

If only life was just having fun daily...

My life is back!!! - reads DX's MSN nick.
Haha, Shawn's life is back too.
Right after the last paper on Tues,
Whereby I was late for 15 mins or so. -_-"

Met up with Hao and GL right after the paper,
And had a shopping spree at Vivo City.
Well, didn't really get anything,
Vivo wasn't as great as I thought.
But with them, everything is fun!

Met up with some poly mates for coffee on Wed,
It's kinnda weird for not meeting them after so long;
And I did have some withdrawn symptoms.
Luckily everything turn out fine. =)

Thurs to Sunday were spent working on an event.
Tiring but there was a sense of satisfaction in within.
Went for a MJ session at Vivien's house right after with e uni pals.
And I won 80 cents at the end of the day!!! LoL. -_-"
Gave the winnings to Jimmy, Vivien's younger bro to buy sweets.
A cute, smart but notorious kid.

Will be going to gym b4 meeting Butt for lunch tomo.
And some others pre-planned activities follows.
I'm kindda looking forward to a brand new lively week. =)

I have a crush recently.
But due to some ironical reasons,
I couldn't do anything but to try to end it,
Cause I know it's something that won't work out no matter what.

Thought of the day:

Love is something that could not be controlled. Be it between a man to a woman, a man to a man, or a woman to a woman. The society is getting so open these days that it’s no longer a wrong thing that human are having different sexual orientations. In fact, I do admire those people who are honest about their sexual desires for the same sexes, and able to walk out of the closets as long as the relationship stays healthy and the love is true. Joanna asked me this morning whether I will fall in love with a guy, and my answer was a direct no. I can’t be a bisexual, or maybe, not yet. Perhaps, I’m bought up in such a way that I know I must fall for girls. Though so from my own point of view, I think that bisexuality is a very sad thing. As easy as it sounds, some might think that they are the lucky ones, as they can fall in love with both sexes. I feel that they are the ones who can’t love wholeheartedly. Even thou they might be faithful; they would still crave for people of another gender opposite of their partners. They can’t love with all their hearts and unconditionally even though how hard they tried to. They can’t choose, because they don’t know what they want actually. They desire for both. They are the ones in between homosexuality and heterosexuality, the victims of sexuality revolution.

Life could have been an irony.

Tired

The exam is not officially over yet.
Still have a paper this coming tues.
But since it is 40MCQs and open-book;
No point studying either.
Lesson learnt from last few CAs of grade B+, C+, C+.
And I did study real hard for them then.
And now,I gotta score a B+ to neutralize all to B wor.
Wonder how?!?!

I have given my best this period of time.
Studying for Organic Chemistry for five consecutive days straight.
And still, it leads to a *gotta pray to pass* situation like now.
To add on, BioChemistry today kills,
And decided to form an "alpha/beta dimer" with Organic Chem.
-_-"

After so many years,
After achieving 5 A's in O-level,
A polytechnic result script with mostly A's and few B's,
This time round is the first time in my life,
I flunked almost EVERYTHING.
Perhaps not even pass some of the modules,
Not to even mention B's nor A's.

I used to believe confidence;
Determination and working hard would lead to success.
For now I stated otherwise.
Brain plays an important role too.

My confident level drops to the bottomless pit,
Determination and hard work gone to waste.
It simply sucks.
Shrugs.

Tired. Shagged. Old.
I'm a gonecase.

1 down, 4 to go

Chemo leads to emo.
Yesterday CM1121 was horribly done.
It wasn't really a difficult paper;
But I'm just lousy in it ah.
I simply sucks at equations and chemical structures.
Hopefully, it will be moderated;
And let me score at least a D (*pray*),
So I won't need to repeat the module.

On a lighter note, IT1001 was fine.
We scored one of e highest among the class for the project!
Haha, e comment was e presentation was freaking too long.
Though I thought the others were kindda long too.
Hopefully tues exam on it would give me a tiny weeny A. =)
At least to neutralize the Chem's grade.

Till then,
I continue to pray for my chem.

Love you guys!

Whatever

My world is falling apart. How fun.
An insane call received yesterday,
And my brain went mad.
Fuck.

Not his fault, not my fault.
We are good brothers by the way.
Just that the conversation made both of us mad.
Almost reached insanity; and we sank into depression mode.

What so big deal about making into NUS,
Or NTU for his case,
When one study for the sake of parents.
Don't get me wrong.
School was okay, uni friends were fun.
I'm surviving.
But I'm sure this is not what I want.
And now, I blame myself for being so indecisive back then.

Went for a run. A long run that lasts 1.5 hours.
Hoping to get through it with some thoughts.
No conclusion drawn.
Hell with it.

Been slacking these days.
Will start to mug for exam today.
For whatever reasons.
Maybe just not to lose my folks' faces.

Life's such a bitch.

Final Stage

Yeah!
Finally.
Everything about this semester,
Will be ending in four weeks time. =)
Hooray!!!

I see fun not afar.
Clubbing sessions with Jun or Darren and guys;
Fishing and prawning trips with bro and bro in law.
Suppers with e burgies;
Chilling out sessions with Butt and guys.

Besides all that,
I need a spa session badly,
And answer to my cravings for Japanese food.
Plenty retail therapies required (is Xmas sales),
And some great tanning sessions at Sentosa.

And of coz, the highlight of the year on Dec 25th,

TAIWAN 10 DAYS TRIP!

Yeah.

=)

Oh yeah,
Did I mention that I've not catch a flick since 1.5 months ago?
LoL

I promised myself to have a month of fun before school starts.

Lives

A dream never come true

He was a young man,
With plans and strength,
Of expectations and thoughts.

That was a dream,
About passion and lust,
Of hopes and desires.

He thought that it was the best choice.
But they thought otherwise.
Thus the young man lives within boundaries,
And locked himself in a cage of struggles.

He seems to deem fit.
Or so, he endeavored to the fame of success.
Exhausted, but still motivated.
He moved on.

Till now,
Hopes were scattered,
He didn’t reap what he sowed.
And left him with a dream unfulfilled.

An old man he becomes.

............................................................

Life could have been so vulnerable. During Monday genetics lecture, a dear friend called to inform me the death of his father a day ago. I was stunned, with a scary thought of seeing an ever-cheeky chap broke down in tears. Calls were made, messages were sent. An indication that friends do care, and a conclusion to pay him a visit on wed. To add on, he is planning to get marry in two months time. And on Tuesday, I heard about the death of a university pal’s father, after losing the battle to cancer.

He was strong, and she was even stronger. I blessed her to be safe and happy for the rest of her life. And hopefully his life would be fulfilled again by opening a new chapter of life – the marriage. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.

Death comes to all.
But great achievements build a monument;
Which shall endure until the sun grows cold.

Youtube got these???

Can't really sleep, coz slept too much in the afternoon.
I haven't touch on books yet. Wonder how?!
Caught a pretty old film (1987) on Channel 8.
A Chinese Ghost Story by Leslie Cheung and Wang Zuxian.
Got the urge to rent "Liang Zu" by Wu QiLong and Charlie Yeung.
A movie that caught my heart years ago,

And I had watched it umpteen times.
Very uncle right (new nick by uni's pals)!

LoL.

Anyway,

Managed to find these on youtube,

Which I thought was pretty "off".

Ah Beng'd Rap

Sound the same as the "real triad" cheers, but lyrics changed.

LoL, reminded me of Secondary School Dazes

Mr. Brown
Nice rap/song by Hossan Leong.

20 days to exams - Frequent spotted msn nicks. *Shrugs*

S.C.A.R

Finally,
After countless of project discussions,
Our website is up.

http://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~u0603129/index/

Cheers to my project mates.

You guys were great.
=)

Alkanes from MARS?

My brain cells are dead,
All due to the two days spent on Organic Chem.
I felt so robotic and my head is "heavy"
That I thought shaking my head a little,
Will result in some information learnt lost.
Yah, my own fault for studying 12 chapters straight,
And skipping all chem lectures. =P

And heh heh,
Decided not to look at those chemical structures anymore;
They look like aliens to me!!!
Apparently, I have given up on tomo chem test.
Just hope I can pass. (luckily is 10%)
Gotta work hard on it when the final exam comes.
Skipping lecture is a no-no anymore. NO! =)

Anyway, gotta free condoms from the AIDS fair at central lib last fri.
Thomas was damn good at the lame games la, LoL.
And their ideas of passing the "message of AIDS" to us thru the games made things hilarious.
Tempted to grab myself a pair of hawaiians slippers from the fair selling at real cheap price,
But, haizzzzzz too bad... On budget! Arghhh!
Coz taiwan wan shui! =)

Cheerios!

I have a car!

Feeling: Happy with a note of retro-ness =)
Listening: Groovy kind of love by Mrs. Miller
(sick of Phil Collins' sad version)

Yipee! Have a car by myself for the weekend and early next week in return for helping my sis feed her fishes and water her plants daily until she comes back from Yun-nan. Yah, she went to China (yet again!) for holiday with my bro-in-law. But arghhh, I have a test next monday which is chemistry, the worst of the worst. -_-" If not, my weekend will be exciting. =P Supper with the burgies, la kopi with butt, cheese pratas with Joon, or outings with Kris and guys. Just anything will do fine. But nah, too bad, chemistry spoilt it all. -_-"

Looks like butt have a great plan for the Taiwan trip *a clap for her*... Really looking forward to it, with a sense of anxiety. Labs are ending, indicating that de exams are coming. SighZ. Gonna mug and mug and mug le... I hope I will do that thou, I just gave in to the sleep god moment ago... =) LoL

Till then, happy working n studying guys!

Drenched Duck

Went fishing for a competition with bro-in-law today. And I left home with a temporary 3rd place on the list with a pathetic 1.4kg catch. The 1st was 2.8kg and the 2nd was 2.5kg. I bet anyone next will take over my place. LoL. But the climax of the day was...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I WENT DOWN THE POND!!! HAHA!

Nope, don't imagine too far... I didn't fall into the pond. If not, it will be the joke of the year liao. LoL. Bro-in-law was tying some fishing lines, and left his rod unattended. And that was this big fish that ate his bait, and pulled the whole rod down manz! We were kindda shocked to do anything at that moment, until someone suggested to us that we should go down the pond. And he, being a non-swimmer, left me with the job. -_-" And so, I went down the pond with 20 to 30 something uncles, aunties, working adults, young kids looking at me. *malu malu* And heh heh, I managed to find the rod somewhere in the middle of the pond at the end. Strive toto also not so zhun ah!

Heng ah! Luckily we found it, if not it will be like throwing $150 dollars into the dustbin sia!

Mama making my life mad.

Quarrelled with mum again, a serious one. She will never ever understand me. Of course I do love my parents to care and concern about my life, but not to over-control it(!). School have already give me stress, and she's obviously adding on to it.

She told me that I won't do well in exams cause I skipped lessons. Okie, I admit this, but I did attend all lessons these days, except Chem lectures. To add on her theory, I go out every night even thou I only remembered the fri and sat, and don't study at all even though I spent my nights in front of the com typing reports and reading notes. I think she thought I was playing games. =( Never mind. But the worst of all, she told all this stuffs to her MJ kahkis, until one auntie voiced out that her son, my neighbourhood pal, studies only three days a week. -_-" I don't think she need to tell people all these, does she?

SigH! And she told me that I shouldn't go for the overseas trip, even though I forked out the money by saving every week's allowance. I felt terribly ill when she said that the savings I had indirectly belongs to her, cause she gives me pocket money every week, and commented that I should only go overseas four years later after I graduate. She tore my face in front of many, commenting that my brother wasn't like this during my age. That's all becoz he was working then! All thanks to her for reminding her son at the age of 22 is still living on her. To her, and probably the aunties would think that I'm a lousy retarded 22 years old OLD kid that still live on parents.

I thought of getting a part time job after I get adapted to uni life, but apparently I haven't really get adapted. Reports and tests are overwhelming. Hopefully by next semester I would have settled down, and probably will get one part time by next year Jan, and two tuitions at least. Cause I don't think they would wanna fork out any money for my exchange. I won't want either. I felt wrong if they pay too.

Anyway here's some book designs I designed for my IT project website and I thought they are pretty nice. =P I hoped our group would get the grade for the efforts we put in manz! Hoping for an A. *pray*

Will mug Organic Chem tomo! Mug mug mug!

Long Weekend!!!

Project discussion just now made me deadbeat, but at least we are progressing. Cheers! Actually is my own fault for ONLY reaching home at 6am this morning. LoL.

Yesterday chem pract was fun, and the mixture kinnda smelled like almond jelly!? Sort of like the exotic smell of the reaction. =) Was late for report submission (yet again), and the lab was locked. Luckily, I managed to sneak it through the backdoor, and handed in the reports (mine and ZY's). Phew, and then as I thought everything was fine, and decided to call my friend for the meetup, I discovered I forgot to bring my handphone!!! -_-" Went home to get it, and ended up having dinner with my folks at Vivo City instead. DuB.

Vivo City was quite an eye opening, except most of the shops are not opened yet. But, fav brands like Zara and GAP have already started operating... Went to Bedok for supper with Jun and GL, followed by prayers at Loyang Da Bek Gong, and 2nd round supper at East Coast's HK cafe. It was damn sinful k!!!

Tickets to Taiwan from 25 Dec 2006 - 4th Jan 2007 were bought! Haha, I swore it will a different new year eve celebration this year. But agrhhh, each tix was ten dollars more, cause we bought one day later (all thanks to jun). Anyway its still a bargain la, cause its only $429 for the hot season. I swore I will rawk the shit outta Taiwan!!! And maybe Taichung. =)

Kindda feels good too as Monday's lab was cancelled. Haha, and so I decided to have a self declared long weekend by "pon - ing" monday's morning lecture. Heh heh. Hence, it will be holiday from sat - tues! YeaH! Planned to mug a little on Organic Chem tomo and Monday... And go for a fishing trip with sister and brother-in-law on tues! YeaH!

Have a nice weekend ahead too guys!

Scientific Religion - Mendelian genetics

Today's Mendelian Genetics began interestingly with the discovery of the microsope in the 17th and 18th centuries. And primitive doctrines were refined into a scientific school of thought called preformationism, which held that living beings were essentially fully-formed prior to conception.

The doctrine of spermist preformation is exemplified by the famous Homunculus image, drawn by Nicholas Hartsoecker in 1694, and supposedly based on an observation of Anton van Leeuwenhoek. The image shows a spermatozoon containing, within its head, a tiny, but fully-formed, human being, and the implication is that the sperm contains the complete, preformed essence of the unborn person; whereas the egg is merely an inert, nutritive, sheltering matrix.

Opposed to the spermist preformationists were the ovist preformationists of the 18th century, led by Regnier de Graaf, who believed that it was the egg that contained the complete essence of the human being, and that the sperm was merely a triggering mechanism for development.

The entire doctrine of preformationism, however, was completely discredited by the embryological observations of Caspar Wolff in the late 18th century. Any remaining controversy over whether the sperm or the egg was more important was finally settled in 1875 by Wilhelm Oskar Hertwig, who demonstrated that the fertilization process required the fusion of the nuclei of both cells.

Doc Chew's lecture is the most interesting I have heard since school started three months ago. He managed to relate "Mendelian Genetics" which I thought was quite a dead subject involving solving predigrees and crossovers, with some creative thinking components. I managed to stay awake all the way for the 2.5 hours lecture... =) Yah, Im proud of this, LoL! But I bet his test will be zzz (dead). =)

Finally, everything seems to get into order two weeks after the sem break - a short break b4 heading to hell. Reports handed in, projects progressing smoothly, and tutorials done and settled. Phew, finally some leisure time for a gym session this morning, in preparation for the shopping sprees when December arrives.

And there's Taiwan trip for me to look forward to! YeAh! =)

And the bubble bursting story continues...

Seriously, the life sciences conundrum article affected many. The morale of the life sciences' students dropped tremendously, as the idea of being a test tube washer still lingers everywhere in school. In fact, a few uni pals of mine are already considering about changing their course.

To be frank, the bubble bursting story did shaken me a little. Afterall, being a guy, and an ambitious one, a good career is definitely something I need to fufill the egoistic cravings I have. A successful career equals to financial stabilty, and both are as important to boost the status of a man (or woman). To add on, living in an urbanised country like Singapore, besides the basic essential needs, one still have to prepare himself for the ever upgrading and developing city. At the end of the day, I would wish to start a family of my own, provide them with luxury (besides love and concern), live in a condo, drive a more-than-just-a-conventional car, own a few credit cards, and a career that make me smile with a sense of achievement when I retired at Cananda (hopefully).

So Colin, no worries, I have my plans even before the article came out. =) I would take up minor in Econs this sem, complete my undergraduate course. Hopefully thereafter, I hope to find myself in use in some investment or marketing companies in the health / pharmceutical industries as a product specialist. Will take up a business degree if its really useful (part of the reason why I'm taking econs minor instead of biz). And from there, I would like to climb up the coporate ladder slowly and steadily. Eventually and hopefully, get a part time MBA degree from NTU, and make a real good use of it. =) At the end of the day, I would wish to be someone in a well established pharmaceutical company, or better still, an aquaculture farm of my own.

Everyone got his aims, and this are my goals in life... =) A bit unrealistic I know, but if I really pursuit my dreams, at the end of the day, maybe I won't wish this far. But at least, it will be somewhere close...

Wish me luck... =)

Everything not in return.

I flunked badly for my Molecular Genetics, and my morale (ego too) dropped to the lowest. Though the overall grade is still a pass, it's traumatizing to think that the target grade I wished to score for this module has gone down to the drain. I'm hurt, for the amount of effort put in, for this kinnda grade I got at the end of the day. Perhaps, like what I thought since school starts, I'm really not the cut for studies. Nothing seems to get into the brain everytime I studied for a test. And the grades I scored for the tests has never been in justice for the 101% I put into it.

It's awfully hurting. Come to think about the ever A and B grades scored for the minimum effort put in polytechnic, it's an agony for such a contrary now...

To add on, yesterday's Natural Heritage of Singapore paper killed me too. 20 MCQs, open book format, wow, sounds easy yeah?! It's out to kill!!! 12 answers of mine and Zhenyun's are not the same. -_-" Another flunked module... Not forgetting the already dying BioChem and Organic Chem. AgrhhH... What should I do?! I have already studied to my max.

Out, for a run... *Sobz*

Natural Heritage of Singapore

Gather a shell from the strown beach;
And listen at its lips: they sigh.
The same desire and mystery;
The echo of the whole sea's speech;
And all mankind is thus at heart.
Not anything but what thou art;
And Earth, Sea, Man are all in each.

Dante Gabriel Rossetti
"The Sea's Limits", 1870

Hopefully I can pass with flying colours later.
20% test on Natural Biology. =)

Loving life as it is...

Listening to: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

Finally, having a short rest tonight after hours of mugging these few days. Today Molecular Genetics test is liked what Zhenyun and Alvin said, "Chiam ah!". Yah, it was this bad. Another flunked paper. Never mind, I won't give up!!!

I will work even harder to score some good grades, for the 3000 plus school fees my folks paid... Indirectly, it meant that each piece of examination paper / module costs bout $600!!! After 21 long years, this is the first time I'm working THIS HARD (!), hope the revenue would be good in Dec, when the results come out.

But today is meant for relaxation. So i'm shutting down anything to do with studies. Yup, I got to even write down the dates for relaxation in my monthly planner -_-". SobZ. The tests this two weeks caused the workload to pile up. And I got four reports in due soon.... Ahhhhhh, but I'm still happily busy! Dunno why either?! =)

Was on the phone whole night with Hao, while msning a few dearies and watching the TV. Like the current new Channel 8 9pm drama serial. Damn funny taiwan mei la!!! Haha. Went to prepare some notes for tomorow lectures and tutorial, and the upcoming fri test as well.

And I discovered that my last IT lecture notes printed was Lecture 3. And tomo is Lecture 8!!! Shitz. *Shrugs* It indicated that I have skipped 4 IT lectures already.... The psychological part of my brain is taking its effect, and so I decided to be a good boy tomorrow to attend all lectures. Haha. Still got one more test on fri to conquer before meeting the burgies on fri for cuppa and I'm looking forward to it. =)

Anyway to all YEP peeps, Irin just messaged me! He's working in this Bintan Agro Resort in Bintan. Maybe we could go visit him?! I missed the rural way of life back then, doing those voluntarily work in his school, and the nutty gado-gado from the school stall. I missed Ebu (Irin's mum), the three person on a bike sessions, those showers using well water... Everything about it. I was 19 then. LoL. YEP memories definitely left some impacts in my life. Maybe not for what I am today cause I'm still finding the right path for myself, but some real-lived learning that what other people would not have experienced in their teen years. I love my life then. =)

And I love my life now too. =) Uni is fun, in her own way.

Life Sciences - OverRATED? OverMANPOWER?

A devastating fact that I knew since poly years, and yet I chosen passion over money. Life Sciences is definitely overrated. Wonder where my future lies? LoL... Luckily I have few alternatives in my brain... I won't be a test tube washer la. Dub. =)

I will still pursuit my dreams,

Climbing the coporate ladder... =)

I just smiled...

I just smile from my heart.
Yesh, finally a smile.
A wholeheartedly real smile.

So everyone for my sake,
Please *SmileZ*. =P
And we will be happy people.

Heard this song from somewhere...

Not a song by any famous superstar or singer,
But just a simple song composed by a composer in Taiwan.
Meant for some musical love dramas.
And it's always this kind of songs that touches me...

This, touched me.

=)

Weekend was great. Mooncake Festival celebration with few dear ones on fri left me four brusies. Yeah, four big brusies, cause boys fight. =) And the spin thereafter is relaxing enough to squeeze all the stress out of my mind. Thanks all for that. And to butt, cheer up... Cause I want to infect you with my smile. =)

Sat was spent doing some financial adjustments. Yeah, a plan to save money for taiwan and the exchange programme. So Shawn will become very "meow" these days... Some poly cliques have already sensed the difference. Haha, the "spend money like drink plain water" Shawn is gone for good... A few little spending sessions on cafes and clothes are not preventable thou. =)

And today, I should spent some time on books. But... I spent it on TV instead. DotZ! I'm a gonecase. Will be waking up tomo morning at 7am for some studies... I must do it! =)

Life is good, cause everyone who loves me, are still there to care. Special thanks to those msn-es / sms-es / chats I received... I care too. =)

I love my friends and family. *Smilez*

A Non-Guilty Day

Was supposed to wake up on time for Organic Chem lecture, but as usual, I overslept. Luckily, the lecture is web telecast, so *heh heh* I can sit back and relax, and see the whole lecture thru my com. Met HongKiat, Kris and Fiona for lunch at 1230, but I was late again... It seems that I have a really hard time managing time. Must work hard on my time management. *nods* And finally, I visited the Raffles BioDiversity Museum located at NUS itself. It was an amazing place that speaks wonder of lives. I really love the two hours spent on the Museum that was only the size of half a football field. And at the museum, I overheard a honours project student discussing about his project with the lecturer, and it seems so fun. They are like travelling around Singapore and her surrounding islands to locate a few animals of the same species... It was cool. AgrhhhH, it really tempts me to choose General Biology as my major instead of Cell n Molecular Biology or BioMedical Science as planned. But in Singapore, I guess its better to get a technical skill, and earn money from it. Sigh, reality sucks. And I went for BioChem lecture thereafter. Haha. Joon and Samantha were surprised to see me... Coz yah, I skipped enough lectures to make my presence in lecture halls seem weird?! Haha. And so, I promised myself to attend all lectures starting from next week. Maybe not Organic Chem thou... *Smilez*

HongKiat and I

Fiona and I

Raffles BioDiversity Musuem at NUS opens to public. Anyone wanna go? I dun mind showing you guys around. =)

The drugs found due to Biodiversity.

Malayan Tapir
An unusual beast related to rhinoceroses.
A pair was found in Pulau Ubin.
But ever since one (photograph above) was found dead in Ubin Granite Quarry,
E partner never appear again...

Oriental Small - Clawed Otter
One of the two species of otters that are still found in Singapore.

Sidetracked a little for a funny incident. *Amused laugh* Jun, Gl and I went to Loyang Da Pek Gong the other day, and we saw a few numbers on the stone rumoured that gives "real numbers"(http://cuppa.blogspot.com/2006/09/i-got-police-raid-and-its-spooky.html. Gl and I saw 1536, while Jun saw 1811. So the three musketeers bought the two number groups for the coming sat and sun, planning to give Hao a treat if one of two opens. But on sat, the number group closest was 1576! Shit. One number diff! And then on sun, it was 1511! Shit again!! (And you try to sub it with the 5 in 1536 to 1811, you would have kill yourself!) And then on wednesday, Jun's mum is smart you see, and I love her for that. She bought both the number groups for Jun... 1536, GL's and my numbers. It OPENED!!! 1536 1536 1536!!! And so, we were promised a treat. LoL. Hooray! =)

ShawnTay - Last but not least, Happy Mooncake FestivaL to all! =)

Old School Days

And so, the test was over. N the verdict is, I would have manage to pass, but I can't score. I doubt I could get all the 'A's as like in polytechnic. Being a last min student in Uni is a no-no. To add on, I'm never the good in studies type. =( I missed the slack life I used to have in poly. Those GL meetings and project discussions with butt and others, those chit-chatting sessions with KG, Hasan, and others during incubation time, or even just the slacking period of time spent in the com lab surfing net while seeing HK and PoH played their NeoPets, Kris getting busy with his reports. I missed all that. University life isn't that bad. I have made enough friends from practicals and OG group to secure my loneliness, as I joined TalentQuest 2007 managed by Science Club as a committee member for some fun, and there's a student exchange programme and yet maybe another YEP waiting for me next year, hopefully. It's fun in a way. New ppl met, new environment to adapt, new friendships to develop... But I really, really, really missed the old school days.

Or maybe it's just me...

Thou so, I'll still work hard, play hard!!! *Smiles*

Hokkien Fever!!!

I totally give up on BioChem le, just hope can pass later... Decided to relax a little bit so here am I, with a few hokkien clips from youtube. LoL. I love the speeding one esp. At least, I can smile as I sleep.

Will do better after sleeping. My mind is blank now. NiteZzz

Shit Happens

Whenever I'm having a test or exam, I'm sure to quarrel with my brother for other side issues. Am I being too much of an individualist, making it hard for ppl to live with me?! Apparently, it has affected my mood, and right now instead of studying BioChem for skipping Molecular Genetics lecture, I'm making whole load of complains typing this blog. Anyway, I skipped enough lectures for me to feel guilty. And I promised myself that after the sem break, I will attend ALL the lectures, including Organic Chem (if I mastered it during the break). But when the sem started yesterday, I skipped the first Organic Chem lecture immediately as I could not wake up on time. On the downside, I've yet to finish Chapter 1 of Organic Chemistry as yet. Awesome, yeah?! The idea of spending yesterday's whole night to finish one chapter of BioChemistry scares me. I wondered would I've enough time to complete the syallabus covered for the test tomo. AgrhhhH, I hate chem-related modules. They kill. I won't say sorry to him either. Is NEVER my fault. Or at least, not this time round.

Life's such a bitch.

The CAs

I didn't did well for my Molecular Genetics CA1 Kindda suprised, but yet I know where the mistakes were even before the test ended. My own fault for not reading the question properly. I was too careless, misintepreted and drew an entirely wrong diagram. But the time I realised, it was a little too late. =( I think it will be the same for CA1 of Natural Heritage of Singapore. Dub. Essay kills!

I will be more hardworking when the sem starts. Promised.

But I'm so addicted to the no studies week. -_-"

A Himbotic Entry

Went to see a palmist as recommended by butt, supported by mum. Afterall, my life's not bad, super amibitious and have a good career ahead, prob an own business coz I'm born an individualist / leader (bhb). Considered early marriage for a guy, but overly-sensitive, and dunno how to reject ppl. A devotee towards career and family, and have better and better life as I aged, perhaps a migration. LoL. The full details I shall keep it to myself la (and butt). Hee.

Met Hao for a short chat, before the rest arrived, late. Have fun with them as usual, and have a super filling dinner. Bought a new pair of sneakers from Adidas, coz the old ones torn. And, I saw many many nice tees from ZARA!!! It really tempts a shopaholic like me. But the worst thing is (lucky thing in a way, -_-"), "I CAN'T FIT INTO THE TEES, EVEN THEIR XLs!!!" shit! Shit!! SHIT!!! It was THAT BAD!!! I shouldn't buy them first, should I? And wait till I lose some fats first before wearing. =( Kindda stoopig I know, but they are going at damn cheap prices for the tees!

And so, I determined. I am going to lose weight, lose weight, lose weight!!! I decided to sign up the gym next week, cause I overspent this week, opps. Get a healthy tan, and purchase all the tees I wanna from ZARA, the gayish cardigans / stripped polo tees from TOPMAN, surf shorts from RipCurL at smaller sizes, those singlets from QuickSilveR, and those straight jeans from LEVI's and TOPMAN (I want baggy no more!)... And of course, I don't mind having a new bottle of perfume, a pair of new scandals, a few pairs of new slippers, and a new bag anytime now... I don't need to lost weight to have them, yeah?! LoL. If u put a hot babe and a treadmill in front of me now, I will choose the latter...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Or can I have both? =)

I GOT A POLICE RAID, and its spooky!

I'm mutinous. My dad decided not to talk me, even though he waited for me to get home at, ermmm, now. Sigh, I guess I fucked it again. He never trusted me the way he used to after the incident. I was the "revolution" out of the three kids, the one who don't pick up his calls; a spolit brad who thinks that he's always right; the one who inherited his stubborn traits, and not to forget the bad temper, or maybe even worst, the temper combination of his and his woman. Sigh (a long one). -_-" Anyway, I'm really a bad kid. Timetable was drawn, but schedule wasn't followed. And I decided to go supper with the burgies, instead of "falling in love" with Organic Chemistry.

Anyway, supper with the burgies just now made me smile for a day. Though Hao can't make it, the three of us still have a sinful meal at the Hong Kong Cafe at Siglap. Some weird ideas sure to come about when boys get-together, so we decided to head for Changi Village to see the transvestites. It seems like is a must-do-activity everytime we headed the east. And here the story goes.

As we passed by the quiet long road from ECP, towards Changi Village, I got this sudden eerie thoughts that I myself can't describe. Trust me, sometimes drivers do have different feelings as they passes through some roads, while looking through the front mirror, or the rear mirrors. Some roads seem to be unclean, while others seem cold. Anyway, the other two felt the same way too, for quite a long stretch of road until we reached a POILCE RAID. Dub!

We were halted and told to get out of the car in a rather hostile way. (At the point of time, GL and me had decided to file a complaint if they are really rude to us!). Identity cards and my driving license were presented and one sarcastic officer was about to investigate on us, coz we travelled all the way from Pandan Gardens to Changi, and couldn't produce the Car Insurance Certificate! How I know where the hell my dad would have put it?! Anyway, being the "must win" sort of prima donna, I searched thru the car to find that A4 sized paper for them to see that I'm not driving a stolen car! Yeah, and thanks god, for goodness sake that they discovered that I'm not driving a stolen car cause I got the same surename as "Tay Choon Seng" (my dad), the purchaser of the insurance. How lame can this be!!! And of course, the usual me will start to crap with the officers. When a rather friendly officer among all asked where are we going, I was like, ermmmm (a long pause), "Going to eat Changi Nasi Lemak!" I can't probably say we're going to see the transvestites, can I?! It's quite an experience actually, esp the officer can crap with me the better stall that sells Nasi Lemak.

And so, we continued our journey, before heading towards Loyang Da Pek Gong Temple for some prayers, and at the same place, we were kanna chased by two small dogs, which I called them puppies. Reminiscing the moment whereby Jun held my hand and vice versa, I was wondering how gay can this be?! Oh mine. And so, we made a joke out of ourselves, before the three corwardices ran back into the car, in a very tactical manner, LoL. Three big guys started to scare themselves again when GL started to link back the dog chasing us at the temple to the road that we passed thru before the police raid. The idea that the seventh month is still not over, worsen the situation. And not forgetting the time at the point of time was reading: 3.33am. GoOoOosH! And so, we are outta to scare ourselves with all these ideas. LoL.

We managed to get home safety thou, not forgetting the accident we saw on the road, and two other road plates that showed that two individual "fatal accidents" had occurred. ShiT!

Luckily, I'm still home in a piece. And I really enjoyed the outing with the burgies. =) Perhaps some ten years plus friendship, I felt so comfortable with them as if they are part of me. Haiz, will be a long long time to catch up with them again when school reopens.

I miss the old me.

Monotonous Lackluster

Yesterday's supper with Joon was great. Roti Prata with cheese at Bukit Timah is always satisfactory enough to fill up my craving needs. The journey to find vivian was amusing thou. Vivian's idea that "Xiao Guilin" in English is called "Little Guilin" made my jaws dropped, followed by a great deep laugh. And now, we know is called Bukit Batok Town Park. But today, I felt lethargic, with deep remorseful thoughts towards Dad and Fiona in particulars. Yeah. I made mistakes again. As I always do. Feeling upset to do anything, I basically just slept the whole day through, even forgoing the ideas of going to the gym, mugging with Joon when he called, and getting started with my revisions. I need and required to reassemble my life in one piece again. I felt a struggle, and a necessitate to be happy. I'm a living piece of wood now.

Monday of a Holiday That's Still Blue

Is the sem break! =)

The first day of the break started off with project discussion with Amy and guys at Marina Square's McDonald. I was late again cause the weather is just too nice for me to hibernate at home. YaWnZ! The discussion was great, or at least the work progress advanced quite abit. Weekday's morning in shopping centre is quiet and relaxing. Anyway we had lunch at "NewYork NewYork". The food was so-so that I wondered what draws the large amount of customers everyday. Their cotton candy machine is cool thou.

Anyway, after the meetup, I went to cafe for a rest as to wait for butt. And I discovered there's free internet access from raffles city all the way to suntec city manz! It rawks sia! Haha. So here am I typing this blog. LoL.

Haha, guess my whole week is gonna to be packed. Need to meetup with the burgies, as well as Kris and guys, prepare for the two upcoming tests, finished up the two lab reports which are in due soon, and discussions for the IT project. And more field trips! Not really a recess actually. Is a period to catch up with my schedule! Esp my organic chem. Dub.

New Life

...

Was thinking about getting a new blog for the new lifestyle I have now. After procastinating it for like months, I finally get my lazy ass up to design this new blogskin... Okie, I admit! The template is from blogskins.com.... But hey! I did use hours to redesign it to mine k! =) I got poor, ermmm, I mean LOUSY computer knowledge you see. *Shrugs*

...

Yesterday CA1 for Natural Heritage of Singapore was a killer. An essay topic of "Nature Conservation is a luxury that Singapore can't afford. Discuss". !!! It's like those GPs stuffs found in 'A' Level!!! I was liked half - dead after the examination, but decided to head down for Downtown East. It was Joanna's 19th Birthday. We had a nice gathering, but I guessed it was quite obvious that my mood was affected for the paper. Agrhhh! Anyway, Happy Birthday to u babe.

I still remembered my 19th birthday celebration back then... It was at Eve's chalet. She was celebrating her birthday too as her birthday is two days earlier then mine. Still remembering then, I was first attacked by Benjamin's rotten feet. Yeah, and I mean those type of salted fish smell mixed with a sweaty shirt that have not been washed for days! *Nod* It was that bad! Then was a plate of chilli sauce, tomato sauce, BBQ sauce, soya sauce, and wateva sauce you can think of, landed on my face... I wondered how Kris, HK, and guys could come out with a mixture that tasted like vomitt! Haha, and to compensate me then, I got a bottle of CK perfume. LoL... I wondered why didnt Eve ended up the same too to get her present... UnfaiR! Thou so, I really missed the old school guys and gals manz, the group leaders as well as the lifestyle we used to have! Anyway we left at 2am, as I got to go underwater world the next day with Robyn and guys. The meeting time was 0830am!!!

...

Underwaterworld was fun,. It was amazing to revisist the place again on an educational purpose. The feeling is different especially when I saw DUGONG, or rather "the mermaid". She was indeed, FUGLY! And I got this special affection towards the groupers' family, that I myself don't understand why too?! Anyway the complimentary tix includes of a show at Dolphin Lagoon. The show was okay, outta to cheat the tourists, but the pink dolphins were real cute. It was really an enjoyable sat morning to get up early to bask under the morning sun as well as to learn something about Natural Biology. I was so affected by KS and the module, that I thought of taking Major in General Biology instead of Cell and Molecular Biology... But since Shawn is a cowardice, and the thoughts of "no job in future" really affected to him, I guess he would have stick to cell and molecular Biology thou... Taking Marine Biology in Year 3/4 as an elective module is a must... =)

...

To sidetrack a little, my new fishing rod had lost her virgin a few days ago. LoL. Five fishes caught in just two hours at Taman Jurong Fishing Pond. And I concluded that she was indeed a beauty for tackling so many fishes! Heh heh. I hope she won't dissappoint me tomo ah. I;m bringing her out to the sea. =)

...

A random pic that I like.