Today's the first paper, and is a damn-fucking-alot-of-expectation paper. Is my favourite module for the sem, but it became a totally cui-ness. I can't do a complusory essay worth 20 marks, and have no time for another 20 marks essay. And I had already wrote like 14 pages worth of chunks... Someone get a knife and kill me please~.
Yesterday was talking to thomas and py over dinner at school. And py was saying that getting into local uni meant u are 10% among the rest, a govt statisitic I guess. Yeah, ironically, I think I shouldn't be here. Is either I was a lucky freak when I apply cause I was at the 9.999999...%, or they put my application into the wrong box. I should be in the "rejection list" you see.
People who know me would know how much efforts I put in this semester. And I never know studies could be such a pain-in-the-ass (yes. I slacked thru my entire pri-sec-poly life). When I put in 100%, people put in 200%. When I put in 200%, people put in 300%. When I put in 300%, people still get the As coz they are genius, and I'm a dumbwit.
And so, my conclusion now is, is either:
1. I'm stupid.
2. I'm damn fucking stupid.
3. My brain is make up of stupid cells, stupid neurons, stupid brain juices.
IF NOT WHAT U TELL ME. I have become millions, trillions times more hardworking this sem, even Jun commented "is my sem" coz i did surprisingly ok for my CAs. But yet I fuck it up again during the exam. Am really truly dissappointed with myself.
1.5 years to go, can I make it?
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