GOOD OLD FRIENDS

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. They are called friends.

Met up with some good old friends yesterday, and on Sunday. On both occassions, we had simple dinners, and lazy cuppa sessions that followed. There were massive updates about lives. Ah, simple affairs like these made a happy Sean. =) I am amazed how most of us changed over the years, of course "to be a better man (or woman)".

There are people in my life who give me comfort when the going gets tough, as it invariably does. I can count on them for a shoulder to cry on. They will lift me up when I fall, they will hold me in their arms as I cry and tell me everything is going to be okay. Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere. I'm lucky to have a few priceless diamonds in my life. =)

Three months from now, some of us will be leaving. To Australia. To USA. To finding our own place in the world. One old buddy once asked me, "Will we still be as close as ever when you come back 18 months later?" Sounds mushy for two big guys to feel that way. Hahas. But, there's magic in the memory of schoolboy friendships; it softens the heart...

As we're all still either striving for a good career or mugging hard in school; trying to blend into the society as we cursed; trying to look for a ideal spouse or trying to maintain a good relationship with a partner; we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, the few of us will come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends (coz it would never happens). I'm lucky to have them, and I know I will still have them when the world finds me nuisance.

There are some points in time, where friends are spread apart due to different things in lives to accomplish. As we are all trying to find our little space in the world, no matter how far the distance is, no matter how long we have never meet, no distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are truly persuaded of each other's worth.

This entry is to remind myself. Of them, of their worth, if I ever forget them someday.

And I bet, I will not. =)

Graduation Class 2009

Current Mood: Peaceful
Current Song: Friends Forever by Vit C followed by 細水長流

Warning: This is going to be a damn long entry.

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it somehow?

I guess I thought that this would never end

And suddenly it's like we're women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on

We remember

All the times we had together

And as our lives change

Come Whatever

We will still be Friends Forever

"To accomplish great things, we must not only dream, but also act; not only plan, but also believe." From the moment I threw the motarboard onwards, I told myself I shall dream, act, plan and believe. That's the key to success as I motivated myself. Student life is officially over, and I'm looking forward towards the next stage of life with excitement, curiousity and a tinge of nervousness. I will figure out what I want, yeps.

That day was an interesting day. With tonnes of emotions mixing up at the same time when I went up on stage. That day, I started to miss school; the science library that I spent 14 hours everyday during the examination weeks, those lecture halls that I entered late most of the time, the people I met, the lecturers that I have lovehate relationship with... I'm missing it all.

Doc He actually texted me that day upon I graduated, "Hey Big guy, take care and I know you are going to make it big in the near future". Haha, it was heartwarming to receive that sms (minus the word "big guy"). I'm not sure am I going to make it big in the future, but I'm really touched and delightful to receive such blessing, especially when the road in front of me is still blurry and unclear. At least, he gave me a feel of assurance.

Photos:

My first group of laboratory friends, and we spent the next three years together.

Parents.

Alvin Tay (my uncle), Alvin's Tay Father (my granduncle), my folks and I. Very messy relationship indeed.

Weijie - The handsome boy, who I got to know through Thomas. We started to talk, and eventually we shared secrets.

The Tay boys. Alvin and Thomas are just like twins.
(They are damn alike, if you know what I mean. )

Alvin Tay - My uncle, who shares my troubles, who drives me out for supper, who is never late for lectures and who wipes his girlfriend's mouth using his hankerchief after meal. Aww sweet.

Thomas Tay - As sensitive as me as said by many. A good friend to talk to, a good study buddy of mine, a good leader in projects. But his words are never that convincing. Haha.

Microbiology peeps!

Peiyan - my lend-notes-buddy (1), my poly friend Peishan's sister, my chitchat 38, my gossip buddy, my BITCH!

Elyana - who I thought was so like Ivy Liu Jingfen, character wise.

Zhen Xiao Mei - My lend-notes-buddy (2), my hot tempermental sis, my lab partner for Molecular Genetics, project buddy, mj buddy, and the list goes on.

Tong ah tong - My lend-notes-buddy (3), and whose mum likes me wor. Haha. My best lab partner who is easy going and temper-less (that was before she got attached, opps).

PS: Without this three lend-notes-buddies, I will probably fail a few modules. Haha.

Kendrick - Mr Teacher-to-be. And dude, you wanna change girlfriend? Haha.

Jo Jo Joanna - One of my closest female friend among the OG. She's smart, she's damn white, she's hawt!

Pamela - haha who almost quarrelled with me over a bottle and a chair before I knew her. LoL. The library gang who eats chicken chunks olio every other day...

Joey! - Mr Nice boy who is cute and from the same camp as me.

Nixie - who is freaking tall in real. A fan of DBSK, and who eyes always looks around PREYING for hawt people using his "attena". Good luck for your summer sem dude!

Ho Teck - the doctor to be.

And Yuanhao (my secondary, and poly friend, and supposedly uni mate in Queensland) came for my graduation unintentionally. For he is the future brother in law of Lois, who happens to my project mate in Bioinformatics.

The throwing-motarboard gang! My very disgraceful moment, cause my motarboard went sideway, passed through some plants, a couple of stairs and landed on some floor 20m away. Haha.

That's it. My graduation day, my undergraduate years. To the friends I met for the three years, good luck for your future endeavour. Live on with your dreams, and live life to the fullest. We might not be meeting up as often as before due to work commitment, but if we give in wholeheartedly for the friendships, an heart to heart bonding is definitely more precious then physical bonding. Good luck peeps.

The route in front of me may seems unclear, but I'm lucky to have a few months to think through it. I love this little break as I told butt the other day. I don't feel as pessimistic as before, and at least now I got the time to figure what I want.

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Met up with a few old friends these days. Feel good that the feeling is still the same after not meeting up for so long.

On Wednesday, met up with Kok Guan, Poh Soo, and Butt. Sent off KG the brother at the airport. The dinner session at the Thai restaurant was short but heartwarming. It's nice talking to them and update one another about our own lives. We used to have the same mentalities when we were young. Our topics usually involved talking about what we gonna do upon graduating from Ngee Ann, gossiping about the happenings between the polytechnic friends, fight hard for the same project etc. And now, all of us are living with different aims in lives, living in different parts of the world, but yet the frienship is still as strong as ever. Good luck bro, I will see you in a year time... =)

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On Thursday, met up with Yuanhao together with Hao and Jun. We started to reminiscence those NPCC days in secondary days, those waiting-for-one-another-to-finish-lecture polytechnic days. Haha. And now, this boy has matured and found an aim in life. For he's going to take up Ph.D in Queensland, and is working on some mosquito vectors... Good luck future Doc. GoH!

A not so prepared shot.

Boys.

With Yuanhao's girlfriend.
Loi's sister, Priscillia (see above, graduation photos).

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On Friday, met up with the boys. Went for a nice Zi Char as recommended by GL, following by a nice chill out at cafe de mar. It's nice sitting by the beach talking to them, talking about future, about relationships, about investments, about everything under the stars...

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On Saturday, met up with butt, Kris and Irene. Celebrated Irene's birthday at a Japanese buffet restaurant in Riverside Hotel. Chill out at Barracks. Nice meeting up.

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On Sunday, I woke up pretty much late at around 2pm, had a bowl of Wanton mee, skipped the planned swim session with the best friend, and sat down in front of the computer and looked back into some old entries found in this blog. I had a great laugh with some incidents that happened these three years. I had my shares of fun, and I had my shares of sorrow as well.

As heard from a friend's friend, he thinks that blogging is just a way of being "wayang", a way to catch attention. Simply put, he thinks that blogging is kindda dumb. For me, I think that blogging is a way to vent my anger, a way of communicating with friends who I can't meet but want to share my life with, a self reminder about the things that once played a very signifcant part in my life (just in case I lost those fond or sad memories I once had).

About dreams. I once fall hard. Reality has once caused me to hide away all my hopes and dreams away, but as I looked back into the thoughts I once penned down on this blog, it keeps me motivated to find back the real meaning of life again. These days, I've been setting aside time to clear a little space in the corners of my mind, so as to fill up the dreams I once had.

About friends. I lost contacts with many friends, lost the feelings I once shared with some dear ones. But as I looked back into the parties, gatherings, celebrations we once had, I feel much close with them, all over again.

About school. I so hate school as I kept broadcasting on this blog. But as I looked back into those entries, I had a great laugh. Am I really that pathetic back then??? Haha. As I threw the motarboard the other day, all these sad memories has became fond ones. One day, I will miss NUS, and I know I will...

About blogging. As I am typing the last few sentences on this entry, I know I will be missing this blog in the future. But I am determined to end this blog with this last entry. It marks the end of my undergraduate years which I had a lovehate relationship with. One day, I might be blogging again but on a new blog... Till that day comes, I will find my aims towards life...

Goodbye..

A thought.

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Song: 我不是你想像那麼勇敢 by 梁文音
Current Read: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

There are many times I tried to make things work,
But things just don't work the way I want it to be.
I'm not complaining;
Just that I has started to understand the word "reality".

It matters alot to me,
At least at that point of time.
At least at that stage of life.
And now, it doesn't seems to matter anymore.

People makes mistake.
I made it once.
A major one that create a different destiny to my life.
My life shouldn't be like that.

I keep telling myself I shan't brood over it.
Is not my fault, neither yours.
But before I keep this memories away and hide it away it some corners of my brain,
Let me finish this entry.

I so hate it.
Hate it hate it hate it.
I so regret it.
Regret till the max.

If only I could go back,
Till the time when I made this decision.
I might be a happier man than what I am of today.
Im sorry. To you, to your future.

And now, I shall look forward to the next stage of my life.
I shall tell myself to fuck care the past,
And look upon the future.
I promise. I promise.

From this day onwards. Yes today.
I shall live life positively.
Like the way I used to.
I miss that old me.
But is okay, cause old Shawn is back.

I'M BACK!!!

PS: I might not blog again on this blog. It tells too many sad stories. Perhaps I shall end it with the end of my undergraduate life... That is, the convocation.

1 more day left till convocation. =)

Socializing...

Current Mood: Confused
Current Song: I will follow you into the dark by Death Cab for Cutie
Current Read: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

I am back here blogging after weeks of so called "blogger-block". My so called "live life to the fullest" life has been uneventful ever since I joined army three weeks ago.

Speaking about the weekdays, I wake up at 0545hrs every morning, book in camp at 0745hrs and out of camp at 1730hrs on a daily basics, reach home at bout 1930hrs every evening and sleep at bout 2200hrs every night. The back and forth journey from Nee Soon Camp is driving me nuts. It's just crazy. Seriously, I have the thoughts to ask for a stay-in, but I didn't eventually. You know, I can't be that dumb afterall. Haha.

Met up with the boys last Friday. Japanese buffet dinner at Hanabi, the walk to Dempsey from Serene Centre, the coffee session at Barracks, wooooooo I really love that. Just a simple affair but its heartwarming. 12 years friendship and still counting on... That day we were discussing about how different we were, but yet how we managed to click. Some are more egoistic, and some are more accomodating, that's why we can blend in to one another. And that stupid GL even commented that I am accomodating on the outside, but definitely not that on the inside! Put it simple: "Act act only lah!!!". Haha. Generally, I would have agreed to their initial plans, but then will start to curse and swear them when their suggestions turn out to be lousy. Don't get me wrong, Im not that demanding... Just that in front of them and many other close friends (who u know who u are), I do not need to put up a fake smile, do not need to show my best behaviour, do not need to say the politically correct answers. I can just sit back, relax and keep quiet and not worrying that they might think I am anti-social or angry. They know I am probably daydreaming somewhere to my lalaland.

Hence, I actually hate social events/big group outing at times whereby I have to wear a fake smile, show how friendly I am, give the very politically correct answers, or making all the effort to crack up in a conversation which I'm not interested in. Cause probably I am an old eccentric man who need to be alone at times. Read: LONER. (meaning) a person who avoids or does not actively seek human interaction or prefers to be alone. There are many reasons for solitude, intentional or otherwise, and "loner" implies no specific cause. Yet contrary, part of me just love to socialize, meet more people, have more parties and just simply have more fun. Sounds like I have dissociative identity disorder, or simply put.. Splilt personality... No?!

Nonetheless, July would be fun fun fun. Cause it's SEAH MUIHUI, aka hua hua, alias Florrie, my butt, my buddy, my best-gal-friend-forever's birthday month!!! Haha, tks for the stuffs from Hongkong babe! I love them all, esp the red wine! *Slurps*In addition, bro KG is back from New Hamsphire and PoH will be back from Canada! Double the people, double the fun! Haha. Last but DEFINITELY not the LEAST, a belated birthday dinner for IRENE CHAN AI LING, who is forever too busy to meet us. =(

116 days left to go... =)

Current life has been great!!!

Current Mood: Feeling easy
Current Song: I will follow you into the dark by Death Cab for Cutie

Life after results released has been great and easy. I learnt how to appreciate life once again. Reading a good book in the cafe with a nice cuppa could have sum up my whole day now. Haha, I became so free that I feel so strange, as if there is something amiss or whatsoever. Haha, I guess I am too traumatized with studies these three years.

This whole week saw me tanning in the pool, WII-ing with the brother, meeting up buddies for dinners and suppers, and/or playing with little Bryce all day long. That little fellow learnt how to poo in the pail already. Haha. I'm amazed by his new actions everyday. While other babies played with toys, he played with live ants using his little fingers. Not killing them though, but just trapped them somehow. I can't really describe how he did that, but it's so amusing. Another occassion was he saw this pretty girl in the MRT train, and he jumped from my sister's towards her... Haha, this little rascal might be a playboy 18 years down the road.

Want my poo poo?

Brother has been a wonderful playmate/movie buddy/quarrel bastard from young till now. Haha, and on thursday we got so boliao that we actually watched a trilogy of movies. Not those common movies like The Lord of Rings, nor Harry Potters!!! It was this 僵尸先生 Part I - III from the 1980s. Haha, it reminds me so much about my childhood years, and surprisingly we can even remembered some of the scenes. Haha.

Haha, mum thinks we are crazy to spend six hours in front of the TV, but she got hooked up soon when calling us to sleep... In the end, dad and her watched the last episode with us. Haha. I love the family so muchie. =) Called up MINDEF to resume my service, but they said the adminstrative work might take 6 weeks. -_-" Meantime, I shall relax and continue my little six weeks break. =)

A hour left.

I actually ordered for the graduation robe at the very last minute before the system shut down at 12pm today. Haha, perhaps it shows how much that I do not want to graduate. Anyway, results going to be out in a hour time and I'm so not going to care about it. Aiyah, say say only lah! I am hoping for the best lah since its the last semester. I want to see at least 5 As. Dream on! FAT-ASS hope.

Yup, I'm back from Taiwan. And the first thing that welcome me was this Singaporean-chao-ah-gua that cut Christine and my queue when we were queuing for passport verification at the immigration counter. How irony it is when none of the Taiwanese pissed me off during these 14 days, but the very next moment I was in my country, I was make pissed. Then again, I should get used to the self centered lifestyle here.

Today marks the end of my school life, and I'm looking forward to the four months of national service that I have yet to serve. So that I can serve and F off... =)

Self Thought

I'm off to taiwan in 6 hours time. I'm packing up all my emotions, feelings, negative thoughts together in the bag, and hopefully I will come back home to be a better man. I figured out that I will be entering a phase of depression when I come back home in two weeks time. I'm not being an extremist though. There are things in my life that truly makes me happy but it's not enough to fill up the emptiness in within me. In fact, I lost myself too; my confidence, my dreams about the future, my envisions, my ambitions, and anything that transformed me from a happy go lucky guy to what I am today.

I will, and I must find that the spirit in within me. That guy who once love his life so much.

COUNTDOWN

Yup! Countdown to the last paper of my entire university life.
9 fucking hours to go but I'm not going to study anymore!!!
Haha, not because I'm confident about myself, but becoz I gave up. -_-"

I reckon Hormones and Health will be the same as Cardio last sem. Sigh.
Grade B- will be expected, Grade B+ will be a bonus.
Grade B means history is going to repeat. Arghhh.

And the library is damn quiet these days.
Most people I know have finished their exams!
I guess the only other two biomedical science students who study in library today were Kaiting and the studious guy who carry a purple crumpler bag!!!
Haha, yeah. It was that pathetic.

9 more hours and that's it. =)

Taiwan here I come!!! Please, B+ please!!!!!!!

Last Run

Hello blog, I can't sleep now cause I slept too much since Tuesday afternoon. I guess I had slept more than twenty five hours within these two days. It's been a super hectic week and i'm glad it's all over. Exam is finishing before I started to panick, and soon the summer holiday will arrive. I'm welcoming Taiwan with my two arms open. I wanna eat my 炸鸡排，珍珠奶茶， 鲁肉饭， 麻辣火锅!!!

But then again. I don't know what to do when I come back from Taiwan. I will get my results which I got a feeling is fucking screwed (worst of all semesters due to my nicely arranged timetable).

I will go back to army to serve that fucking four months.

I will go for the convocation ceremony which is something my folks will look forward to. At least I have fufill the "promise" I've made to Dad three years ago, for continue my stay in NUS if I pass my Organic Chemistry... Damn, and I did passed! Things might be so different now if only I failed that tragic paper. I might be in Australia studying marine biology and ecology at the University of Queensland, or in Canada studying Biotechnology at University of British Columbia, and the list goes on with reference to those acceptance letters that are still in my drawer. I have no regrets though, that's life. At least I learnt quite alot in NUS... Not in the bad way which I kept wincing all these three years, but rather in a realistic manner... As in I learnt how to be more realistic, more competitive, and more independent. I met many acquaintances, and some true friends. I have my share of fun, and sorrows. But still, I miss those type of big group bonding back in poly days, whereby everyone in the tutorial group feel close as one. University is too independent for someone like me. Haha.

I have packed most of my notes (except Hormones and Health which I will be having the paper next fri). I have sell all my notes to the newspaper collector except this semester one (in case I fail).

I will keep my pencilbox in some drawers until maybe Little Bryce know how to scribble. Then I can pass all my colourful markers, highlighters, and pens to him. I'm surprised by the number of stationaries I have collected these three years. Is like "Wow(!), Sean, u spend at least a hundred dollars on those stuffs!!!" I can't really study with black and white notes la, I will just sleep.

Then I don't know what's next. Try to get a job? Go for Masters as planned? I feel like going to do a year of volunteer work in Africa after Butt has aspired me. It's so random though. Haha.

Maybe I will get some aspiration in Taiwan......

Till then.

Sigh.

The World Of infectious Diseases!!

My biotech paper today was a gonna. I rewrote a 20% essay coz I see the question wrongly. Shrugs! And in the end I don't have time for the last essay, which is also 20%! -_-" The only A grade I was hoping for this sem has gone with the wind!

And here's the incomplete list of the microbes (!!!) which I have to study for the infectious disease paper on tuesday!!!!!

Streptococcus pyogenesStreptococcus agalactiaeEnterococcus faecalisEntercoccus faeciumStreptococcus bovisStaphylococcus aureusStaphylococcus epidermidis Staphylococcus saprophyticusCorynebacterium diphtheriaeBacillus anthracisBacillus cereusListeria monocytogenesNeisseria meningitidisNeisseria gonorrhoeaeTreponema palladiumBorrelia recurrentisBorrelia duttoniLeptospira sppCampylobacter jejuni Helicobacter pyloriEscherichia coliKlebsiella pneumoniaeKlebsiella oxytoca Klebsiella granulomatisEnterobacter cloacaeEnterobacter aerogenesSerratia marcescensProteus sppSalmonella typhiSalmonella paratyphiSalmonella typhimurium Salmonella enteritidisYersenia pestisYersenia enterocoliticaYersenia pseduotuberculosisPseudomonas aeruginosaBurkholderia pseudomalleiAcinetobacter baunmanniiHaemophilus influenzaeLegionella pneumophilaVibrio choleraeVibrio parahaemolyticusVibrio vulnificusVibrio fluvialisVibrio alginolyticusPasteurella multocidaBordetella pertussisBordetella parapeussisBrucella sppBartonella bacilliformisBartonella quintanaBartonella henselaeBartonella clarridgeiaeEntamoeba histolyticaEntamoeba disparEntamoeba coliIodamoeba butschiiNaegleria fowleriAcanthamoeba castellaniAcanthamoeba polyphagaBalantidium coliGiardialamblia/intestinalisTrichomonas hominisTrichomonas vaginalisLeishmania sppTrypanosoma bruceiTrypanosoma cruzi Plasmodium falcipariumPlasmodium vivaxPlasmodium ovalePlasmodium malariaeBabesia sppToxoplasma gondiiCryptosporidium parvumCryptosporidium hominisCyclospora cayetanensisCystiospora/Isospora belliTrichophyton rubrumTrichophyton mentagraphytesEpidermophyton floccosumMicrosporum canisMalassezia furfurHortaea/Exophiala weneckiiPiedra hortaeTrichosporon beigeliiNattrasia mangifera / Scytalidium dimidatumSporothrix schenkiiFonsecaea pedrosoiFonsecaea compactaPhialophora verucossCladosporum carrioniiMadurella mycetomatisPseudallescheria boydiiAcremonium sppExophiala jeanselmeiLeptosphaeria Aspergillus sppActnomyces sppRhinosporidum seeberiCoccidioides immitisHistoplasma capsulatumHistoplasma duboisiiHistoplasma farciminosumBlastomyces dermatitidisParacoccoidiodes brasiliensisCryptococcus neoformansPenicillium marneffeiCandida albicanAspergillus fumigatusPneumocystis jiroveci/cariniiEnterobius vermicularisTrichuris trichuriaAscaris lumbricoidesAncylostoma duodenaleNecator americanusStronglyoides stercoralisTrichinella spiralisAnisakid nematodsToxocara canisWucheria bancroftiBrugia malayiOnchocerca volvusLoa loaAngiostrongylus cantonensisWolbachia sppFasciola hepaticaFasciola giganticaClonorchis sinensisOpisthorchis felineusOpisthorchis viverriniFasciolopsis buskiEchinostoma revolutumHeterophyes heterophyesMetagonimus yokagawaiParagonimus westermaniSchistosomas mansoniSchistosomasjaponicumSchistosomas mekongiSchistosomas intercalatumSchistosomas haematobiumTaenia saginataTaenia soliumTaenia asiaticaDiphyllobothrium latumEchinococcus granulosusEchinococcus multilocularis Trichuris suisMycobacterium tuberculosisMycoplasma pneumoniaeMycoplasma hominisMycoplasma genitaliumUreaplasma urealyticumChlamydia trachomatisChlamydia psittaciChlamydia pneumoniaeRickettsia typhiRickettsia rickettsiiRickettsia / Orientsia tsutsugamushiBacteroides fragilisClostridium perfringensClostridium tetaniClostridium botulinumClostridium difficile

(copyright from Alvin's blog without approval, ahaha.)

I think we should make this into a chain/junk mail, then sent to all the students taking this module. Those didn't sent to five other students after reading will have bad luck for the paper on tuesday. Haha, I think "luck" plays a rather important role in order to pass this paper. I am so gonna to be screwed.

Crap. Back to studies.

Break from the books

I guess I deserved this fifteen minutes break (to blog).

Haha, i have been mugging like hell these three days (minus away the time I sleep, eat, and poo) to prepare for the coming tests. It's really crazy to have three tests falling within two consecutive days, which happened to be tomorrow and the day after. But then again, I think it's a great rehearsal for the finals when I will be having Immunology on the 28th morning, Applied Microbiology on the afternoon, and Infectious Disease on the next morning. Haha, damn screwed.

Luckily, I do have a very supportive family all these years, and really heart them for that. My dad was super funny yesterday. When I reached home, he commanded me to stop touching the books, and insisted that I have a drink with him. I know he wanted me to relax a little (lah), but unlike other fathers who want their children to excel, I guess he's the only father who will tell his son that "studying too much will kill!!!". Haha, so I did put the books aside after his super nice quote, to finish up a bottle of red wine with him.

And i heart friends. It's so heart warming to receive those encouraging smses from u-know-who-u-are when I'm in the midst of preparing for the tests in the cold and boring library. Those smses really brightened up my days. Let's meet up after my exams!!! =) Secondary school gathering, poly mates gathering, etc etc, I'm so looking forward. But then first of all, I need to get my "party genes" activated first. Haha.

Back to books.

GRADUATING LE!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: Impatient
Current Song: 寂寞在唱歌 by Ah sang
Current Read: Lecture 13 of Physics in Life Sciences

A song delicated to those who love the songs of this great artiste.
Not her most well known song,
but my favorite for those sleepless night
阿桑, 一路好走。。。

Entering the last episode of school life, I have no much feelings or emotions to struggle about. In fact i feel as though it was a release......

Hatred, might be too strong a word to use.
But at least I know I really dislike this place.

To voice out: "This semester has been the greatest semester I had." I have wonderful lab sessions, I met up with wonderful lab group mates, I had my share of fun and the bonding was good. It's so unlike other semesters, whereby lab sessions was at the minimal, and lectures was almost everything just "to make us great researchers of the future'.

If only things were as great at the beginning.
My love for education, has in fact, been traumatized by the school system since year1.
Haha, nuff said about the system, only the geeks and genius love it.
Unfortunely, i don't fall to the above categories.

Four weeks, that's all I need.
And I will be free.
Yeah!!!

A Little Update

Current Mood: Lost
Current Song: Still in Love with You by Jonas Brothers
Current Read: Life Sciences in Physics Term Paper

I have unofficially finished school since the semester break five weeks ago. Occasionally, I do make guest appearances for the lab practicals, tests or report submissions. My attendance was so bad that some uni friends jokingly want to celebrate a "school reopen ceremony" for me when I saw them the other day.

Boo.

2 more reports to rush.
3 more tests to struggle.
4 more weeks till exam.
5 more exam papers for my school life.
And I will be officially done with my entire education life.

The road ahead seems so welcoming, yet so traumatizing and unclear. I longed to reach the other side of the road when I just started university, but now I'm thinking otherwise. Joining the BioBiz seminar talk the other day make things worst. I didn't know that the market is so bad now.

In fact I'm backing out, and wish to study for a year more or two. Even though I don't really like the marking system of my university in general (those competitions within friends to fight for the top 5% to get As), I still think it will be better then those politics I got to handle in a working environment.

Sigh. The route ahead is so gloomy.

That application in Germany.
I'm hoping the best out of it.

Friendships

Met up with the boys on Friday.

It have been almost a year ever since we met up, and it was a night of an usual catch up, talking about things I won't just share with many, things about the closet affairs. It was a warmth evening that I enjoyed, breaking myself from the books and notes. Friends, I have many, some true friends among whom I value highly. I thank them for always being there for me, whenever I need; wherever I need; being my true friends.

Bad mouthing, betrayal, hatred, I have seen too many cases of best friends breaking up. I'm lucky that it hasn't really happen to me yet, or has happened but just that I was kept in the dark. I used to prioritize friendship alot, above family, career or even love. And now, perhaps I have grown up, I'm thinking otherwise.

No, don't judge me yet, cause if one really sit down and think, I bet he/she will think likewise. I'm just being realistic. Will you ever give up your love because your best friend don't like him/her??? Okay, I'm being on the extreme, but I'm just trying to bring the point over. I have plenty of friends whom I held so dearly at that certain stages of life. But as our lives drifted apart, many have now term as "acquaintances". It's definitely a sad thing, I might be at fault for not putting efforts into those friendships, or maybe is them, or maybe is both parties. Speaking about true friends, I guess I can count within the fingers of my both hands. How ironical isn't it?

True friends are those you don't need to meet everyday, see everyday, talk everyday. It's an affair about soul bonding. An occasional message, an out-of-the-blue phonecall, and you will feel the friendship everyday. I think that's more then enough.

12 years of friendship is long I know... But still I have not enough of it yet. Haha.

True friends is all that matters. =)

EMO KING

Current Mood: Mood-less
Current Song: Carrie Underwood's ver of I'll stand by you
Current Read: Immunobiology by Janeway

Quote: "Shawn is an emo king".
-By Alvin Tay-

Hahaha, how true. I did the colorgenics test once again. Haha, and this time round, very emo indeed (and yet realistic at the same time). Totally opposite result from the one I did couple of years back.

At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

In the past your trusting attitude has often been misunderstood and so you have needed to protect yourself against your tendency to be abused and taken advantage of. As a consequence you possibly adopt an aloof and critical attitude and you are only willing to let your guard down once sincerity and trustworthiness can be assured.

If only dreams come true...

Life is vulnerable

Current Mood: Sad
Current Song: Amazing Grace (Music)
Current Read: Biotechnology Practical 1

After that day I saw LT Bernard during the career fair, my mind has been wandering to that little room in 4SIR Lim Chu Kang Camp 2, whereby a few of us called it home for a year or two. At the corner of that room sit a lovely, bubbly, and very plump woman who wore perfume and carried a fake LV bag. The room was always filled with her laughter, and she’s probably one of the reasons I don’t hate army as much as some of my friends.

She’s one hell a good superior who understand army boys. Once, I was still writing a report 9pm in the night when she was about to knock off. She told me to stop my work, reminding me that I’m just a NSF and work can never be finished. Then she treated me supper before we left the camp together. Another occasion, I was having problem with the medical centre due to an implemented urine regime by the Commanding Officer. To cut the story short, I was told to take up the duties meant for the medics. She protected me by barking back to the officers, and tried to shield me for being bullied. In the end, although Bernard and I was still the one being arrowed, I’m still grateful how she tried to protect us.

A year in 4SIR with her and the rest has been a joyous affair. We worked like a family. She was the mother of a handful of soldiers who she called them as darlings. Adam, Mike, Bernard, “Shawn” just to name a few. We complained to her, and she complained to us. We worked for her, and she gossiped to us. Our team spirit was so high that once the Commanding Officer commented that we are too happy and told us to be more serious in work. -_-” And so we gave him black faced whenever he entered the room. Other than that, we are still that funky, happy bunch of people playing as hard as we worked.

As I was thinking about how going back to camp this coming June wasn’t a bad idea, cause I will be seeing this old lady once again, I received the most shocking text from Adam. The text reads, “Madam Rosnita died yesterday due to a heart failure.”

*Blank*

It was too sudden.

I was heartbroken.

Life is so vulnerable.

As I vividly remembered how she used to care and concern about her subordinates including me, and knew that I won’t be seeing her again this coming June, tears started to roll down from my face. She taught me many things from her thirty-something years of army experience. She taught me how to take things easy, and not to give oneself too much stress. She taught me how to be more street smart by closing one eye. In fact, she’s the one that let me feel that serving NS isn’t that bad after all. Coz, unlike many other regular officers, she was a democratic leader with no airs, and has a lovely motherly image.

Although Bernard and I will be going back together (I think) this coming June, the room we used to work together will no longer be the same without her laughter.

The energy of joy in the room has gone.

So has her.

Chief, rest in peace.

Alex's Wedding

Current Mood: Clueless bout life
Current Song: Lovebug by Jonas Brothers
Current Read: Microbiology Practical 1

Some friends and I had a long talk with Prof Sim today, a kind lady with alot of lifelong experiences to share. As she quoted, "Just try your best! Eventually if you didn't get till where you want, you will still be somewhere close to there." Yup, a quote that is so real and motivating, but yet so dreamy and ironical. I remembered I used to tell my folks this same old quote, but the only reply I got back from them was, "Don't think too far. Just be a normal person, seek a normal job, get a normal pay, and lead a normal life..." *laughs* I don't blame them at all, cause I guess they are seeing things from another perspective of life.

True enough, in a place like Singapore, there's already too much challenges for a normal Singaporean to face. Singaporean kids have been bought up understanding the fact that "A good qualification equals to securing a good job of high pay, that permits one to live in luxury, buy a house, get a car and go to the ideal destination for holiday." I believe that the younger generation will fit well into this little cosmopolitan city. As for me, I just feel that I don't fit in so perfectly.

3 months from now, I will be graduating. But yet, I still can't figure out the path ahead of me. I thought I want to be a marine biologist, but then again, Research = no money, money = no research. And so, I came back to the starting point again.

On a happier note, Alex's wedding was over last last Saturday. A union of two hearts. How sweet. The food was quite good as compared with other hotels, and the "wine appreciation" session thereafter was crazy. Haha. Pictures:

Sweet.

The vow of a lifetime.

The Brothers and the poly cliques.

Another photo while waiting for the ceremony to begin.

The Wedding Dinner at Roxy Hotel.

Us, including Sam's pretty girlfriend.

We took up 1/4 of the card meant for all guests to write our wishing.

The girls.

The boys.

Girls from Table 20.

The guys from Table 20.

And lastly, as the couple was too busily entertaining other people.
We cam-whored in front of 24 other tables!!!
It started from Hua and BL, and then two boys followed.
Then it went click click click, click click click...
Until Jeffery came to us and said,
"Whao lau, you four add up together already100 years old still do this!!!"
-_-" then we went back to the table for... *ahem* wine appreciation.




Had fun.

The Wedding Bell Rings

Current Mood: Joyous
Current Song: Canon in D
Current Read: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

January 2009.
Two weddings.
A month of love, reunion and joy.

L-O-V-E stands for love.
Simple to spell,
Difficult to understand.
A lifetime to know it.

Cousin WeiGuang marrying in a week time;
The first male within our generation.
Never expect him to be the one;
Cause he's always the studious one among all.

Alex's next.
The last day of the month.
The last day of singlehood.
But yet, a love of everlasting.

A church wedding,
As the "Canon in D" plays,
A wedding of a lifetime.
Congratulations dudes.

Love.
A wildly misunderstood,
Although highly desirable malfunction of the heart,
Which weakens the brain,
Causes eyes to sparkle,
Cheeks to glow,
Blood pressure to rise,
And the lips to pucker.

Love.
Does not consist of gazing at each other,
But in looking together in the same direction.

Love.
Two souls, one heart;
that's the quote.

Forever;
That's the word.

Best wishes.

Oh, that fucking innocent kid

Current Mood: Contemplative
Current Song: I have a dream, Westlife's version
Current Read: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

O, I was once that fucking ambitious kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

I want to be a high tech farmer,
That's when I was taking my O's.
I want to open an aquaculture farm,
That's when I was taking my O's.

Oh, was that me?
Oh, was that me?
Yeah, that was me.
Yeah, that was me.

I want to be a cafe owner,
That's when I was graduating from poly.
I want to study coffee in Italy,
That's when I was graduating from poly.

Oh, was that me?
Oh, was that me?
Yeah, that was me.
Yeah, that was me.

...

O, I was once that fucking studious kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

Six months time from now,
I'll be graduating,
Whether I like it not.
Four months time thereafter,
NSF in that green uniform will be my status,
Whether I like it not.

And when everything's over,
I will be a goner.
Cause I can't see my future ahead.
And when everything's over,
I will be a goner,
Cause I dunno what I want in life.

...

O, I was once that fucking optimistic kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

I shall continue with school, shall I?
That Master in Molecular Biosciences in Germany?
That Master in Applied Medical Biotechnology in Sweden?
I want to continue with school, can I?

I shall step into the workforce, shall I?
Be that researcher who work till the day I die in some laboratories?
Be that clinical trial associate who travel around?
I don't want to step into the workforce, can I?

...

I was once that fucking ambitious kid.
I was once that fucking studious kid.
I was once that fucking optimistic kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

I was that fucking innocent kid.
I was that innocent kid.
I was that kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

...

And now, I'm no longer that kid.
Cause I no longer have big dreams.
Cause I no longer have high hopes.
Cause I no longer have lovely wishes.

And now, I'm no longer that kid.
Cause life fucks me up.
Cause reality fucks me hard.
Cause I was fucked.