Caffeine Addiction (My University Life)

A note to self

2010-05-12T11:43:00.005+08:00

Third month.
Still feeling surreal.
I think I quite like it here.
The quietness in particular.
And. The freedom.

Third month.
Feeling a little homesick.
I think I miss the family quite a bit.
Little sugar in particular.
And. Everyone else.

Third month.
Feeling a little lost touch.
I think I miss Jun and our JB outings; butt and her messages; Hao and his love affairs.
Friends in particular,
And. The bond we used to have.

Third month.
Feeling a little independent.
I think I grow up a little this period.
Nothing in particular.
But. The whole process of doing things without lovely mum.

Pictures. My house. My virgin cooking. My trip to Washington. My trip to Baltimore. My first hike in USA.

My house. Most things are second handed. Except my bed. =)

My virgin cooking. And it tastes marvellous.

Washington DC during Cherry Blossom.

Baltimore in the morning.

Baltimore at night.

PS: Family and friends are missed. Badly.

真实感

2010-03-16T03:43:00.002+08:00

两天了，却还有点梦幻的feel。
觉得这一切都有点不真实的感觉。。。

走前，恨不得时间快点到来。
走后，却有点想家的感觉。

想妈妈煮的汤。
想老豆好好抱的肚子。
想姐姐的关心。
想哥哥的互相吵闹。
想小勋勋的可爱模样。

这里的一切都还好。
地方，有点 countryside。
人，很友善。
车，还可以handle.
STRAT peopke 还相处的融洽。

希望这18个月是一个很好的学习机会。。。

About gatherings and us

2010-03-07T21:14:00.004+08:00

This week saw me meeting up with the people I loved for some farewell lunches, dinners, etc. And seriously, I will definitely miss their presences... =(

And such gatherings always makes me feel so old. Haha...

I'm actually amazed by how the topics we chatted about today is so different from what it used to be many many years ago. Long long time ago, all of us were worrying about O levels, thinking that's the most important thing in the world. Then we started to ponder, pondering about what course we should take in polytechnic or which junior college to go to... Then about six to eight years back, we started to mug hard together so that we can have grades that were good enough for us to make it into a good university together (after our grades fall tremendously for joining camps). Eventually, most of us didn't get into the same university, but we had and shared our army greens and university blues....

Yet in the blink of an eye, the girls had graduated and the boys were "officially men"... Our topic then changed to careers and love. And then soon after, we, these bunch of bankers, army officers, lab officers, researchers started to talk about marriage. And now, some of us are father, mother or parent-soon-to-be.

It's amazing isn't it? Looking at the things we had went through together, and the things we are going through together now. I thank you peeps for sharing your lives with me. Like what Sam said yesterday, " Few years later, we will have our gathering in IKEA, so that the kids can play the play ground there". You know it's so funny and yet so scary to learnt that we are already grown ups. =)

And growing up is no fun. =)

Countdown

2010-03-04T03:28:00.006+08:00

9 more days and I'm far from being ready. I haven't buy a happy green coloured luggage bag yet though I've been planning for like months. Samsonite green 29" one is damn chio can but it is far too expensive. =( so I guess I will settle for other green alternatives. heh.

I was waiting impatiently for this training to start, but as the time draws nearer, I start to develop some withdrawl symptoms... especially when I'm so emotionally drawn to little Bryce these few months.

The flight changes to 12th March instead of 13th March, which make it a friday. Many friends who promised to sent me, might not be able to make it due to work when I broke to them the news today. One even got exam lo! lol. But peeps, it's okay =) I guess it's better off this way... At least the chances of me crying at the airport will be smaller, hahaha. My mum could be a potential threat for me to open my water tap though. She cried as if I'm-leaving-forever-loh when I confirmed the date with her the other day.

I can't really describe how I feel now...

Nervous? A little.

Excited? YesH!

Happy.? Yup. =)

With a tinge of 舍不得? I guesss so. Would definitely miss my folks, my silbings and the lovely friends.

9 more days to go. Shrugs.

Predicted Typical Questions for CNY 2010

2010-02-10T02:43:00.014+08:00

CNY 2007
Q1. Ah boy, so big now ah. What are you doing now?
A1: I am now studying in NUS.
Q2: NUS ah, I see i see. What course?
A2: Life Sciences. *a fucking fake smile*
Q3: I see. Got girlfriend not?
A3: Don't have leh. *smile*

CNY 2008
Q1: Wow, ah boy, become an adult liao ah. What you doing now?
A1: Oh *with a damn fucking fake smile*, I'm schooling at NUS.
Q2: I see i see... NUS like not bad hor. (I replied: okie lah). So what course you taking?
A2: (Oh yeah, fuck u, as if u care) *faking another smile*, I'm taking Life Sciences in NUS.
Q3: Life Sciences like not bad hor, got girls in school not? Got "yao hao" ones?
A3: Haha, got lah my course got quite a few pretty ones, but biz and arts got more pretty girls. Haha, no leh.

CNY 2009
Q1: Ah boy, wow getting "bigger" huh. So old liao, what you doing now?
A1: Ohhh, haha, I am now in NUS.
Q2: I see I see. What course huh?
A2: Life Sciences. *Zzzzzzz, oh yeah* I'm majoring in Biomedical Sciences. *fake smile*
Q3: Not bad hor, Life sciences is like the "in" thing hor? Anyway got girlfriend now not?
A1: (Yeah right, after the "life science conundrum, you tell me is good?!?!) *faking the-most-fake-smile-of-the-year( No lah, no girlfriend. =)

Lukily this year, I graduated. =)

CNY 2010

Predicted Q1: Wow ah boy, getting bigger and bigger and bigger huh. What you doing now?
My pre-planned A1: I just graduated. Found a job. Starting in March (Yes, yours truly finally graduated. Thanks for "asking" me this three years).
Predicted Q2: I see I see. What school you graduated from? What industry you in now?
My pre-planned A2: I graduated from NUS with a degree in Biomedical Sciences. I will be working in the pharmaceutical industry soon (how many fucking times you need to ask huh? One day I will tell you that I work as a pimp so that you can remember it for life).
Predicted Q3: I see. Pharmaceutical Industry earns big bucks hor. Got girlfriend now not?
My pre-planned A3: *faking the-most-fake-smile-for-the-year-again* Hai hao lah, I'm fresh graduate (please do not compare me with your son who is now working in bank, or/and your daughter who is now working in the petrochemical company and has 13 months bonus). *faking the-next-most-fake-smile-of -the year*No leh, I'm still single. (and I spent my Valentine Day with my dad, mum, sister, brother, brother-in-law, and nephew and SOME OF YOU in Chu Yi).

And the same old story will repeat the year after. -_-"

Superficial questions. Superficial answers. Superficial me. Superficial relatives which I seen only once a year (or a few more if there's weddings or funerals). If anyone of them can remember what I told them a year ago, I can go and buy 4D. =) Cause I will probably strike first prize.

The idea of having steamboat and playing blackjack for the whole night with the siblings and cousins make me smile though. Red underwear, red bra, no underwear, two oranges in front of the table. I wonder what they can come up with this year. =) It is never the earnings that matters... It is like a bunch of grown up kids having a yearly gathering, appreciate one another presences, reminiscence those days when we have weekly gatherings at ah ma's house. The thrill of winning one another, trying to find lame ideas to ke the biggest winner or dealer make it marvellous.

I'm getting myself a red boxer. Period.

Pre-Working Status

2010-01-27T06:54:00.018+08:00

Sleepless night (cause i slept for more-then-enough-hours-to-call-it-a-day prior to that). *Counting the days on the calendar before it marks 15th March 2010* 47 more days more, and that's it!!! =)

NO WAIT, 47 DAYS MORE???

Agrhhhh. Sigh. If only the program is on Feb as scheduled... Isnt it a little too late for me to get a temp job now???? =(

I'm like having a taste of retirement even before I start working. This break seems to get a little boring. Haha, and I can't imagine myself retiring 37 years down the road (that's is if I work till 62). This kind of life is really toOoOooOooo monotonous!!!

Okay, I'm not actually complaining, if by then I have a nice house by the sea, a Volkswagen to drive, a garden to grow some durian trees (yeah right!), a one-room sized built in wardrobe with lots of branded clothings, and strike enough lotteries and 4Ds to go travelling every year...

Okay, I am complaining now cause these are FAT HOPEs!

I just did a 5 years plan, like I usually did at every 5 years intervals, like when I was 10, 15, 20 and now. And the plan is *empty*.

I know nuts of how I should proceed my life with... I'm not ambitious enough to make it big... I'm not positive enough to think that everyday-is-a-beautiful-day... I'm not thinking about getting hitched since I have no gf yet... I'm not thinking about having kids since I have no wife yet... So I reckon that there's nothing much in my life from 26-30 years old as compared with some fellow same aged man.

Okay this is a lousy random entry. On an even more random note, Kris called and said that, "Shawn, you have a damn good life now huh!". *middle finger to that best buddy!* Haha, and man, better meet up soon huh! =)

Signed off to the pool.

逃离

2010-01-23T03:14:00.027+08:00

很多人都觉得我很幸福。。。有一个疼爱我的家庭, 大学毕业后又找到一份还算不错的工作, 可能除了一分真挚的爱情, 人生也没什么好渴求的了。。。从客观的立场来说, 这些人说的没错, 我确实有一家让我疼爱万分的亲人, 也有一群永远守在我身边的“猪朋狗友”, 还有一个未尝试的工作等着我去摸索。

但他们对了吗?
我只能说人生有许多的无可奈何吧。昨晚与友人聊天，他说我正在逃离, 也许会有出国做工的念头就是为了逃避。。。 (认识他那么多年，他总能看出一些“常在我心深处”的“心事”吧。宇，你这个死老友没白交啦)！他说得没错，我正在逃离, 正在逃避。。。

逃离? 逃避? 逃开什么。。。?

逃离家人的“十万个为什么”? 逃避对未来的“渴望与恐惧”? 逃开对人生该有的“喜怒哀乐”, “悲欢离合”? 我想我自己也说不上来吧。。。

逃离是为了要正面去面对，
面对生命中的不可承受之轻。
逃离日常的, 必要的, 重复的，
试着去找回那颗清明的心。

沉澱是献给我们自己最好的礼物，
静静地待在心中的那个角落。
悲伤，哭泣，软弱全都在这里，
这是属于自己的秘密角落。

单独是逃离与沉澱最好的朋友，
独自一人，什么也不做，什么也不想。

才不管外界的热闹与喧哗，兴高采烈地向自己招手，
独自地品味享受这一路上的精彩，
聆听自己内心真正的朋友。
聆听自己内心真正的自我。

三月要来了。人生的下一个阶段也将要开始。
我会开心吗？我会幸福吗？
选择踏上这条不归路是正确的？
选择逃离这现实的城市是正确的？

幸福, 真的在下一站吗?

I'm sorry

2010-01-17T00:06:00.011+08:00

Few days ago, a good friend called and said I've been neglecting her.
Jokingly she might sound, but it hit me hard.
I do not know how to reply,
But a sense of guilt filled up in my brain in that twink second.

Do . I. always . neglect . people . ?

I used to have many friends at certain stages in life.
Some of whom I held dearly to.
But as the show ended, the chapter closed,
These nice little friends start to leave my world.

I manage to keep a few,
But I lost plenty.
Is it just my fault for not taking initiative?
Or is it both parties?

Sometimes I really don't know.
But it seems like i am enclosing myself in a little bubble.
Messages received but I didn't replied.
Phone calls missed but I didn't returned.

Friendship could be taken so lightly?!?!

No, I appreciated friends.
But I guess friendship is just like any relationship.
Like love relationship.
Like kinships.

Like sands in the hand.
If you held the sands too tight,
they will dropped off between the holes of your finger.
If you held them too loose.
You will lost them as well.

I think, there should be a balance.
A balance? But who can define balance?
Sometimes, things lost cannot be return.
Love over cannot be rekindle.
The same applies to friendships too.

I'm sorry to those who think I neglected them.
I will try my best not to, anymore.
For those I've already lost,
Goodbye, and do take care.

Sad? Yes Iam.

But eventually,
I know the good friends will still be here, with me.
And I will still be there, with them.
It just a matter of some others that I have already lost.

I know friendship need two hands to clap. You know?
Sorry babe. I'm claping with you now.

=)

下一站，幸福

2010-01-14T14:11:00.005+08:00

A song I like from 下一站，幸福. Nice.

It came to a point when things are getting mundane and I basically do the same old things over and over again. Sleep-eat-out-sleep-eat-poo-sleep-eat-out. Aimless. Sometimes, I do appreciated this little break with a good book on hands, siting in the cafe alone with a nice cuppa. Friends are busily studying or working. Babies on the strollers are busily crying. Cars on the roads are busily moving. Tourists in the streets are busily snapping (pictures). And I seems to be the only one in the world doing nothing.

Life gets a litte bored here, so I decided to engaged myself into a series of Taiwanese Idol drama (agaiN!). 海派甜心 and 下一站，幸福 are equally good; and I wonder what's next.

March is coming in two months. Looking forward and yet wish that it won't be here so soon. Weird thinking; weird me.

下一站我会努力的找我的幸福, 希望你也一样。。。

Beautiful People, Beautiful World

2010-01-10T03:13:00.009+08:00

Just a thought.

Life is always full of ups and downs. In the past, no matter what I did, I'm always hurt by something immaterial that stands in the way. A thing called obstacle. But today, I tried to learn; to encounter that obstacle, overcome it, and be a better man. And tomorrow, I will live positively, open my heart and soul to welcome new beautiful things in life. Work, people, friends, etc. I will no longer be that lost man that live with agony and hatred, jealousy and regrets. If I ever be such a new person, I believe that the world will be a more beautiful place to live in. Even the sun will smile back to me. =)

Anyways,

Yesterday was hell fun!!! It has been a long time since I enjoyed myself so much, so wholeheartedly. True friends make wonders. We laughed like nobody biz, talked without filtering through the brain (and heart), and MJ-ed till dawn broke. Hahas, thanks for the facial masks, pineapple tarts, taiyang bing, ocarina from Taiwan. I love them.

Smile, and the whole world will smile back at you.

End of the year. Start of the year. It's like a cycle.

2010-01-05T16:54:00.012+08:00

I didn't write anything to commemorate year 2009, and I have nothing new to say (aka: resolution) for year 2010. I just wonder can I leave everything behind and move on.

Okay, I wrote something, but didn't published. You know, there are times when you got lots to write, but when you look through that entry, you know you can't publish that. It's too personal. =)

25th birthday includes a few simple affairs with friends over some lunches and dinners. Nothing fanciful, but I love it that way. As we grow, we start to get busy on our own stuffs, and don't have the time to meet up with the dear friends who we once shared our lives so closely with. Birthday celebration is one good reason to gather around, and have a massive update about one another life. Frankly speaking, birthdays become less and less of an affair each year as I grow older. To me, it's just another day of the month. I would like to think that that’s because I have slowly come to learn more and more about life.

Pitstops.

Yes. Birthdays become more like pitstops, markings which highlight each different juncture of your life at constant intervals and which tell you to stop for a while to have a rethink, about the past, about the past one year. You know, it's like a cycle.

It's hard not to think of the past sometimes, I keep wondering was i like this always or was it only the recent years? Yesterday I went for a spin cause I was having a serious insomia. And I came up with many thoughts.

I thought about the old days. I sometimes still think about drinking graveyard while going clubbing with Darren, cause that's one of the cheapo drink to get high when I was younger (and I haven't touch on that for at least half a decade). An classic example of the random thoughts that are wandering in my mind these days. Small, insignificant moments I once shared with people I loved, and still love. But it's not like there's anything I can do. That's gone. Those days aren't coming back. There are many times where there are people entering your life, and people leaving, it's like a cycle.

I thought I was just unhappy. And then I realized I'm just a little sad and it's also like a cycle. You know people get unhappy at times, and then overjoyed on the next, just like a cycle. I felt like crying for a person, felt like crying for my father, for my friends, for my lost new year, for 2009. What was 2009 anyway? It felt like it was the split of past and present, that there were so many significant moments but all i can remember is the slow passing of days, like there was no future. And it was like a low humming through time. And I just thought that the whole reason we need to keep moving forward be filled with jobs and work and study and goals is so we don't ever have to stop and seep through the empty brain and heart.

I thought about my parents too. I thought no matter how much my parents love me, how much my dad was good and kind to me, I still decided to leave after his countless objections. I don't know when I'll ever be this constant part of their lives again, that they were with me through my first steps and days but I'll be gone soon for a good 18 months. But I guess they have Bryce now, and even many more grandchildren soon when brother gets marry this year. Eventually, I will come back, I will get marry, I will bore them some grandchildren too. But it' seems different.

Mum always told me how Bryce's little action looks like my sister, my brother or even me. But I look at that little fellow, he's an unique hyperactive boy on his own, nothing that looks significant like his parents or his uncles except maybe some genetic trademarks. I discovered she is trying to reminiscence those moments when my brother, sister and I were still kids. When we were were younger, when we still won't talk back to her, when we wouldn't disappear from her eyes for more then a minute.

But those days were gone. Just gone and thought if they slowed down and thought about it, it'll be kind of sad. I hate to think about the future, hate to think about they aging, hate to have the idea of them leaving me in a few decades time. I wish that time would stop at this moment, when things never change again.

But the reality is real, that nothing really stays with you forever. It's like a cycle. People coming to the world, people leaving the world.

Before this cycle ends, I would do my best to love them.

Cause they are nothing, but the love of my life.

GOOD OLD FRIENDS

2009-12-23T10:39:00.007+08:00

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. They are called friends.

Met up with some good old friends yesterday, and on Sunday. On both occassions, we had simple dinners, and lazy cuppa sessions that followed. There were massive updates about lives. Ah, simple affairs like these made a happy Sean. =) I am amazed how most of us changed over the years, of course "to be a better man (or woman)".

There are people in my life who give me comfort when the going gets tough, as it invariably does. I can count on them for a shoulder to cry on. They will lift me up when I fall, they will hold me in their arms as I cry and tell me everything is going to be okay. Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere. I'm lucky to have a few priceless diamonds in my life. =)

Three months from now, some of us will be leaving. To Australia. To USA. To finding our own place in the world. One old buddy once asked me, "Will we still be as close as ever when you come back 18 months later?" Sounds mushy for two big guys to feel that way. Hahas. But, there's magic in the memory of schoolboy friendships; it softens the heart...

As we're all still either striving for a good career or mugging hard in school; trying to blend into the society as we cursed; trying to look for a ideal spouse or trying to maintain a good relationship with a partner; we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, the few of us will come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends (coz it would never happens). I'm lucky to have them, and I know I will still have them when the world finds me nuisance.

There are some points in time, where friends are spread apart due to different things in lives to accomplish. As we are all trying to find our little space in the world, no matter how far the distance is, no matter how long we have never meet, no distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are truly persuaded of each other's worth.

This entry is to remind myself. Of them, of their worth, if I ever forget them someday.

And I bet, I will not. =)

Graduation Class 2009

2009-07-12T15:17:00.035+08:00

Current Mood: Peaceful
Current Song: Friends Forever by Vit C followed by 細水長流

Warning: This is going to be a damn long entry.

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there?

Can we make it somehow?

I guess I thought that this would never end

And suddenly it's like we're women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on

We remember

All the times we had together

And as our lives change

Come Whatever

We will still be Friends Forever

"To accomplish great things, we must not only dream, but also act; not only plan, but also believe." From the moment I threw the motarboard onwards, I told myself I shall dream, act, plan and believe. That's the key to success as I motivated myself. Student life is officially over, and I'm looking forward towards the next stage of life with excitement, curiousity and a tinge of nervousness. I will figure out what I want, yeps.

That day was an interesting day. With tonnes of emotions mixing up at the same time when I went up on stage. That day, I started to miss school; the science library that I spent 14 hours everyday during the examination weeks, those lecture halls that I entered late most of the time, the people I met, the lecturers that I have lovehate relationship with... I'm missing it all.

Doc He actually texted me that day upon I graduated, "Hey Big guy, take care and I know you are going to make it big in the near future". Haha, it was heartwarming to receive that sms (minus the word "big guy"). I'm not sure am I going to make it big in the future, but I'm really touched and delightful to receive such blessing, especially when the road in front of me is still blurry and unclear. At least, he gave me a feel of assurance.

Photos:

My first group of laboratory friends, and we spent the next three years together.

Parents.

Alvin Tay (my uncle), Alvin's Tay Father (my granduncle), my folks and I. Very messy relationship indeed.

Weijie - The handsome boy, who I got to know through Thomas. We started to talk, and eventually we shared secrets.

The Tay boys. Alvin and Thomas are just like twins.
(They are damn alike, if you know what I mean. )

Alvin Tay - My uncle, who shares my troubles, who drives me out for supper, who is never late for lectures and who wipes his girlfriend's mouth using his hankerchief after meal. Aww sweet.

Thomas Tay - As sensitive as me as said by many. A good friend to talk to, a good study buddy of mine, a good leader in projects. But his words are never that convincing. Haha.

Microbiology peeps!

Peiyan - my lend-notes-buddy (1), my poly friend Peishan's sister, my chitchat 38, my gossip buddy, my BITCH!

Elyana - who I thought was so like Ivy Liu Jingfen, character wise.

Zhen Xiao Mei - My lend-notes-buddy (2), my hot tempermental sis, my lab partner for Molecular Genetics, project buddy, mj buddy, and the list goes on.

Tong ah tong - My lend-notes-buddy (3), and whose mum likes me wor. Haha. My best lab partner who is easy going and temper-less (that was before she got attached, opps).

PS: Without this three lend-notes-buddies, I will probably fail a few modules. Haha.

Kendrick - Mr Teacher-to-be. And dude, you wanna change girlfriend? Haha.

Jo Jo Joanna - One of my closest female friend among the OG. She's smart, she's damn white, she's hawt!

Pamela - haha who almost quarrelled with me over a bottle and a chair before I knew her. LoL. The library gang who eats chicken chunks olio every other day...

Joey! - Mr Nice boy who is cute and from the same camp as me.

Nixie - who is freaking tall in real. A fan of DBSK, and who eyes always looks around PREYING for hawt people using his "attena". Good luck for your summer sem dude!

Ho Teck - the doctor to be.

And Yuanhao (my secondary, and poly friend, and supposedly uni mate in Queensland) came for my graduation unintentionally. For he is the future brother in law of Lois, who happens to my project mate in Bioinformatics.

The throwing-motarboard gang! My very disgraceful moment, cause my motarboard went sideway, passed through some plants, a couple of stairs and landed on some floor 20m away. Haha.

That's it. My graduation day, my undergraduate years. To the friends I met for the three years, good luck for your future endeavour. Live on with your dreams, and live life to the fullest. We might not be meeting up as often as before due to work commitment, but if we give in wholeheartedly for the friendships, an heart to heart bonding is definitely more precious then physical bonding. Good luck peeps.

The route in front of me may seems unclear, but I'm lucky to have a few months to think through it. I love this little break as I told butt the other day. I don't feel as pessimistic as before, and at least now I got the time to figure what I want.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Met up with a few old friends these days. Feel good that the feeling is still the same after not meeting up for so long.

On Wednesday, met up with Kok Guan, Poh Soo, and Butt. Sent off KG the brother at the airport. The dinner session at the Thai restaurant was short but heartwarming. It's nice talking to them and update one another about our own lives. We used to have the same mentalities when we were young. Our topics usually involved talking about what we gonna do upon graduating from Ngee Ann, gossiping about the happenings between the polytechnic friends, fight hard for the same project etc. And now, all of us are living with different aims in lives, living in different parts of the world, but yet the frienship is still as strong as ever. Good luck bro, I will see you in a year time... =)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Thursday, met up with Yuanhao together with Hao and Jun. We started to reminiscence those NPCC days in secondary days, those waiting-for-one-another-to-finish-lecture polytechnic days. Haha. And now, this boy has matured and found an aim in life. For he's going to take up Ph.D in Queensland, and is working on some mosquito vectors... Good luck future Doc. GoH!

A not so prepared shot.

Boys.

With Yuanhao's girlfriend.
Loi's sister, Priscillia (see above, graduation photos).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Friday, met up with the boys. Went for a nice Zi Char as recommended by GL, following by a nice chill out at cafe de mar. It's nice sitting by the beach talking to them, talking about future, about relationships, about investments, about everything under the stars...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Saturday, met up with butt, Kris and Irene. Celebrated Irene's birthday at a Japanese buffet restaurant in Riverside Hotel. Chill out at Barracks. Nice meeting up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Sunday, I woke up pretty much late at around 2pm, had a bowl of Wanton mee, skipped the planned swim session with the best friend, and sat down in front of the computer and looked back into some old entries found in this blog. I had a great laugh with some incidents that happened these three years. I had my shares of fun, and I had my shares of sorrow as well.

As heard from a friend's friend, he thinks that blogging is just a way of being "wayang", a way to catch attention. Simply put, he thinks that blogging is kindda dumb. For me, I think that blogging is a way to vent my anger, a way of communicating with friends who I can't meet but want to share my life with, a self reminder about the things that once played a very signifcant part in my life (just in case I lost those fond or sad memories I once had).

About dreams. I once fall hard. Reality has once caused me to hide away all my hopes and dreams away, but as I looked back into the thoughts I once penned down on this blog, it keeps me motivated to find back the real meaning of life again. These days, I've been setting aside time to clear a little space in the corners of my mind, so as to fill up the dreams I once had.

About friends. I lost contacts with many friends, lost the feelings I once shared with some dear ones. But as I looked back into the parties, gatherings, celebrations we once had, I feel much close with them, all over again.

About school. I so hate school as I kept broadcasting on this blog. But as I looked back into those entries, I had a great laugh. Am I really that pathetic back then??? Haha. As I threw the motarboard the other day, all these sad memories has became fond ones. One day, I will miss NUS, and I know I will...

About blogging. As I am typing the last few sentences on this entry, I know I will be missing this blog in the future. But I am determined to end this blog with this last entry. It marks the end of my undergraduate years which I had a lovehate relationship with. One day, I might be blogging again but on a new blog... Till that day comes, I will find my aims towards life...

Goodbye..

A thought.

2009-07-07T22:57:00.010+08:00

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Song: 我不是你想像那麼勇敢 by 梁文音
Current Read: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

There are many times I tried to make things work,
But things just don't work the way I want it to be.
I'm not complaining;
Just that I has started to understand the word "reality".

It matters alot to me,
At least at that point of time.
At least at that stage of life.
And now, it doesn't seems to matter anymore.

People makes mistake.
I made it once.
A major one that create a different destiny to my life.
My life shouldn't be like that.

I keep telling myself I shan't brood over it.
Is not my fault, neither yours.
But before I keep this memories away and hide it away it some corners of my brain,
Let me finish this entry.

I so hate it.
Hate it hate it hate it.
I so regret it.
Regret till the max.

If only I could go back,
Till the time when I made this decision.
I might be a happier man than what I am of today.
Im sorry. To you, to your future.

And now, I shall look forward to the next stage of my life.
I shall tell myself to fuck care the past,
And look upon the future.
I promise. I promise.

From this day onwards. Yes today.
I shall live life positively.
Like the way I used to.
I miss that old me.
But is okay, cause old Shawn is back.

I'M BACK!!!

PS: I might not blog again on this blog. It tells too many sad stories. Perhaps I shall end it with the end of my undergraduate life... That is, the convocation.

1 more day left till convocation. =)

Socializing...

2009-07-03T23:41:00.005+08:00

Current Mood: Confused
Current Song: I will follow you into the dark by Death Cab for Cutie
Current Read: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

I am back here blogging after weeks of so called "blogger-block". My so called "live life to the fullest" life has been uneventful ever since I joined army three weeks ago.

Speaking about the weekdays, I wake up at 0545hrs every morning, book in camp at 0745hrs and out of camp at 1730hrs on a daily basics, reach home at bout 1930hrs every evening and sleep at bout 2200hrs every night. The back and forth journey from Nee Soon Camp is driving me nuts. It's just crazy. Seriously, I have the thoughts to ask for a stay-in, but I didn't eventually. You know, I can't be that dumb afterall. Haha.

Met up with the boys last Friday. Japanese buffet dinner at Hanabi, the walk to Dempsey from Serene Centre, the coffee session at Barracks, wooooooo I really love that. Just a simple affair but its heartwarming. 12 years friendship and still counting on... That day we were discussing about how different we were, but yet how we managed to click. Some are more egoistic, and some are more accomodating, that's why we can blend in to one another. And that ~~stupid~~ GL even commented that I am accomodating on the outside, but definitely not that on the inside! Put it simple: "Act act only lah!!!". Haha. Generally, I would have agreed to their initial plans, but then will start to curse and swear them when their suggestions turn out to be lousy. Don't get me wrong, Im not that demanding... Just that in front of them and many other close friends (who u know who u are), I do not need to put up a fake smile, do not need to show my best behaviour, do not need to say the politically correct answers. I can just sit back, relax and keep quiet and not worrying that they might think I am anti-social or angry. They know I am probably daydreaming somewhere to my lalaland.

Hence, I actually hate social events/big group outing at times whereby I have to wear a fake smile, show how friendly I am, give the very politically correct answers, or making all the effort to crack up in a conversation which I'm not interested in. Cause probably I am an old eccentric man who need to be alone at times. Read: LONER. (meaning) a person who avoids or does not actively seek human interaction or prefers to be alone. There are many reasons for solitude, intentional or otherwise, and "loner" implies no specific cause. Yet contrary, part of me just love to socialize, meet more people, have more parties and just simply have more fun. Sounds like I have dissociative identity disorder, or simply put.. Splilt personality... No?!

Nonetheless, July would be fun fun fun. Cause it's SEAH MUIHUI, aka hua hua, alias Florrie, my butt, my buddy, my best-gal-friend-forever's birthday month!!! Haha, tks for the stuffs from Hongkong babe! I love them all, esp the red wine! *Slurps*In addition, bro KG is back from New Hamsphire and PoH will be back from Canada! Double the people, double the fun! Haha. Last but DEFINITELY not the LEAST, a belated birthday dinner for IRENE CHAN AI LING, who is forever too busy to meet us. =(

116 days left to go... =)

Current life has been great!!!

2009-06-07T03:45:00.004+08:00

Current Mood: Feeling easy
Current Song: I will follow you into the dark by Death Cab for Cutie

Life after results released has been great and easy. I learnt how to appreciate life once again. Reading a good book in the cafe with a nice cuppa could have sum up my whole day now. Haha, I became so free that I feel so strange, as if there is something amiss or whatsoever. Haha, I guess I am too traumatized with studies these three years.

This whole week saw me tanning in the pool, WII-ing with the brother, meeting up buddies for dinners and suppers, and/or playing with little Bryce all day long. That little fellow learnt how to poo in the pail already. Haha. I'm amazed by his new actions everyday. While other babies played with toys, he played with live ants using his little fingers. Not killing them though, but just trapped them somehow. I can't really describe how he did that, but it's so amusing. Another occassion was he saw this pretty girl in the MRT train, and he jumped from my sister's towards her... Haha, this little rascal might be a playboy 18 years down the road.

Want my poo poo?

Brother has been a wonderful playmate/movie buddy/quarrel bastard from young till now. Haha, and on thursday we got so boliao that we actually watched a trilogy of movies. Not those common movies like The Lord of Rings, nor Harry Potters!!! It was this 僵尸先生 Part I - III from the 1980s. Haha, it reminds me so much about my childhood years, and surprisingly we can even remembered some of the scenes. Haha.

Haha, mum thinks we are crazy to spend six hours in front of the TV, but she got hooked up soon when calling us to sleep... In the end, dad and her watched the last episode with us. Haha. I love the family so muchie. =) Called up MINDEF to resume my service, but they said the adminstrative work might take 6 weeks. -_-" Meantime, I shall relax and continue my little six weeks break. =)

A hour left.

2009-05-29T12:17:00.003+08:00

I actually ordered for the graduation robe at the very last minute before the system shut down at 12pm today. Haha, perhaps it shows how much that I do not want to graduate. Anyway, results going to be out in a hour time and I'm so not going to care about it. Aiyah, say say only lah! I am hoping for the best lah since its the last semester. I want to see at least 5 As. Dream on! FAT-ASS hope.

Yup, I'm back from Taiwan. And the first thing that welcome me was this Singaporean-chao-ah-gua that cut Christine and my queue when we were queuing for passport verification at the immigration counter. How irony it is when none of the Taiwanese pissed me off during these 14 days, but the very next moment I was in my country, I was make pissed. Then again, I should get used to the self centered lifestyle here.

Today marks the end of my school life, and I'm looking forward to the four months of national service that I have yet to serve. So that I can serve and F off... =)

Self Thought

2009-05-10T00:51:00.004+08:00

I'm off to taiwan in 6 hours time. I'm packing up all my emotions, feelings, negative thoughts together in the bag, and hopefully I will come back home to be a better man. I figured out that I will be entering a phase of depression when I come back home in two weeks time. I'm not being an extremist though. There are things in my life that truly makes me happy but it's not enough to fill up the emptiness in within me. In fact, I lost myself too; my confidence, my dreams about the future, my envisions, my ambitions, and anything that transformed me from a happy go lucky guy to what I am today.

I will, and I must find that the spirit in within me. That guy who once love his life so much.

COUNTDOWN

2009-05-08T00:07:00.005+08:00

Yup! Countdown to the last paper of my entire university life.
9 fucking hours to go but I'm not going to study anymore!!!
Haha, not because I'm confident about myself, but becoz I gave up. -_-"

I reckon Hormones and Health will be the same as Cardio last sem. Sigh.
Grade B- will be expected, Grade B+ will be a bonus.
Grade B means history is going to repeat. Arghhh.

And the library is damn quiet these days.
Most people I know have finished their exams!
I guess the only other two biomedical science students who study in library today were Kaiting and the studious guy who carry a purple crumpler bag!!!
Haha, yeah. It was that pathetic.

9 more hours and that's it. =)

~~Taiwan here I come!!!~~ Please, B+ please!!!!!!!

Last Run

2009-05-01T02:51:00.005+08:00

Hello blog, I can't sleep now cause I slept too much since Tuesday afternoon. I guess I had slept more than twenty five hours within these two days. It's been a super hectic week and i'm glad it's all over. Exam is finishing before I started to panick, and soon the summer holiday will arrive. I'm welcoming Taiwan with my two arms open. I wanna eat my 炸鸡排，珍珠奶茶，鲁肉饭，麻辣火锅!!!

But then again. I don't know what to do when I come back from Taiwan. I will get my results which I got a feeling is fucking screwed (worst of all semesters due to my nicely arranged timetable).

I will go back to army to serve that fucking four months.

I will go for the convocation ceremony which is something my folks will look forward to. At least I have fufill the "promise" I've made to Dad three years ago, for continue my stay in NUS if I pass my Organic Chemistry... Damn, and I did passed! Things might be so different now if only I failed that tragic paper. I might be in Australia studying marine biology and ecology at the University of Queensland, or in Canada studying Biotechnology at University of British Columbia, and the list goes on with reference to those acceptance letters that are still in my drawer. I have no regrets though, that's life. At least I learnt quite alot in NUS... Not in the bad way which I kept wincing all these three years, but rather in a realistic manner... As in I learnt how to be more realistic, more competitive, and more independent. I met many acquaintances, and some true friends. I have my share of fun, and sorrows. But still, I miss those type of big group bonding back in poly days, whereby everyone in the tutorial group feel close as one. University is too independent for someone like me. Haha.

I have packed most of my notes (except Hormones and Health which I will be having the paper next fri). I have sell all my notes to the newspaper collector except this semester one (in case I fail).

I will keep my pencilbox in some drawers until maybe Little Bryce know how to scribble. Then I can pass all my colourful markers, highlighters, and pens to him. I'm surprised by the number of stationaries I have collected these three years. Is like "Wow(!), Sean, u spend at least a hundred dollars on those stuffs!!!" I can't really study with black and white notes la, I will just sleep.

Then I don't know what's next. Try to get a job? Go for Masters as planned? I feel like going to do a year of volunteer work in Africa after Butt has aspired me. It's so random though. Haha.

Maybe I will get some aspiration in Taiwan......

Till then.

Sigh.

The World Of infectious Diseases!!

2009-04-25T14:35:00.011+08:00

My biotech paper today was a gonna. I rewrote a 20% essay coz I see the question wrongly. Shrugs! And in the end I don't have time for the last essay, which is also 20%! -_-" The only A grade I was hoping for this sem has gone with the wind!

And here's the incomplete list of the microbes (!!!) which I have to study for the infectious disease paper on tuesday!!!!!

Streptococcus pyogenesStreptococcus agalactiaeEnterococcus faecalisEntercoccus faeciumStreptococcus bovisStaphylococcus aureusStaphylococcus epidermidis Staphylococcus saprophyticusCorynebacterium diphtheriaeBacillus anthracisBacillus cereusListeria monocytogenesNeisseria meningitidisNeisseria gonorrhoeaeTreponema palladiumBorrelia recurrentisBorrelia duttoniLeptospira sppCampylobacter jejuni Helicobacter pyloriEscherichia coliKlebsiella pneumoniaeKlebsiella oxytoca Klebsiella granulomatisEnterobacter cloacaeEnterobacter aerogenesSerratia marcescensProteus sppSalmonella typhiSalmonella paratyphiSalmonella typhimurium Salmonella enteritidisYersenia pestisYersenia enterocoliticaYersenia pseduotuberculosisPseudomonas aeruginosaBurkholderia pseudomalleiAcinetobacter baunmanniiHaemophilus influenzaeLegionella pneumophilaVibrio choleraeVibrio parahaemolyticusVibrio vulnificusVibrio fluvialisVibrio alginolyticusPasteurella multocidaBordetella pertussisBordetella parapeussisBrucella sppBartonella bacilliformisBartonella quintanaBartonella henselaeBartonella clarridgeiaeEntamoeba histolyticaEntamoeba disparEntamoeba coliIodamoeba butschiiNaegleria fowleriAcanthamoeba castellaniAcanthamoeba polyphagaBalantidium coliGiardialamblia/intestinalisTrichomonas hominisTrichomonas vaginalisLeishmania sppTrypanosoma bruceiTrypanosoma cruzi Plasmodium falcipariumPlasmodium vivaxPlasmodium ovalePlasmodium malariaeBabesia sppToxoplasma gondiiCryptosporidium parvumCryptosporidium hominisCyclospora cayetanensisCystiospora/Isospora belliTrichophyton rubrumTrichophyton mentagraphytesEpidermophyton floccosumMicrosporum canisMalassezia furfurHortaea/Exophiala weneckiiPiedra hortaeTrichosporon beigeliiNattrasia mangifera / Scytalidium dimidatumSporothrix schenkiiFonsecaea pedrosoiFonsecaea compactaPhialophora verucossCladosporum carrioniiMadurella mycetomatisPseudallescheria boydiiAcremonium sppExophiala jeanselmeiLeptosphaeria Aspergillus sppActnomyces sppRhinosporidum seeberiCoccidioides immitisHistoplasma capsulatumHistoplasma duboisiiHistoplasma farciminosumBlastomyces dermatitidisParacoccoidiodes brasiliensisCryptococcus neoformansPenicillium marneffeiCandida albicanAspergillus fumigatusPneumocystis jiroveci/cariniiEnterobius vermicularisTrichuris trichuriaAscaris lumbricoidesAncylostoma duodenaleNecator americanusStronglyoides stercoralisTrichinella spiralisAnisakid nematodsToxocara canisWucheria bancroftiBrugia malayiOnchocerca volvusLoa loaAngiostrongylus cantonensisWolbachia sppFasciola hepaticaFasciola giganticaClonorchis sinensisOpisthorchis felineusOpisthorchis viverriniFasciolopsis buskiEchinostoma revolutumHeterophyes heterophyesMetagonimus yokagawaiParagonimus westermaniSchistosomas mansoniSchistosomasjaponicumSchistosomas mekongiSchistosomas intercalatumSchistosomas haematobiumTaenia saginataTaenia soliumTaenia asiaticaDiphyllobothrium latumEchinococcus granulosusEchinococcus multilocularis Trichuris suisMycobacterium tuberculosisMycoplasma pneumoniaeMycoplasma hominisMycoplasma genitaliumUreaplasma urealyticumChlamydia trachomatisChlamydia psittaciChlamydia pneumoniaeRickettsia typhiRickettsia rickettsiiRickettsia / Orientsia tsutsugamushiBacteroides fragilisClostridium perfringensClostridium tetaniClostridium botulinumClostridium difficile

(copyright from Alvin's blog without approval, ahaha.)

I think we should make this into a chain/junk mail, then sent to all the students taking this module. Those didn't sent to five other students after reading will have bad luck for the paper on tuesday. Haha, I think "luck" plays a rather important role in order to pass this paper. I am so gonna to be screwed.

Crap. Back to studies.

Break from the books

2009-04-13T01:32:00.006+08:00

I guess I deserved this fifteen minutes break (to blog).

Haha, i have been mugging like hell these three days (minus away the time I sleep, eat, and poo) to prepare for the coming tests. It's really crazy to have three tests falling within two consecutive days, which happened to be tomorrow and the day after. But then again, I think it's a great rehearsal for the finals when I will be having Immunology on the 28th morning, Applied Microbiology on the afternoon, and Infectious Disease on the next morning. Haha, damn screwed.

Luckily, I do have a very supportive family all these years, and really heart them for that. My dad was super funny yesterday. When I reached home, he commanded me to stop touching the books, and insisted that I have a drink with him. I know he wanted me to relax a little (lah), but unlike other fathers who want their children to excel, I guess he's the only father who will tell his son that "studying too much will kill!!!". Haha, so I did put the books aside after his super nice quote, to finish up a bottle of red wine with him.

And i heart friends. It's so heart warming to receive those encouraging smses from u-know-who-u-are when I'm in the midst of preparing for the tests in the cold and boring library. Those smses really brightened up my days. Let's meet up after my exams!!! =) Secondary school gathering, poly mates gathering, etc etc, I'm so looking forward. But then first of all, I need to get my "party genes" activated first. Haha.

Back to books.

GRADUATING LE!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-09T23:41:00.007+08:00

Current Mood: Impatient
Current Song: 寂寞在唱歌 by Ah sang
Current Read: Lecture 13 of Physics in Life Sciences

A song delicated to those who love the songs of this great artiste.
Not her most well known song,
but my favorite for those sleepless night
阿桑, 一路好走。。。

Entering the last episode of school life, I have no much feelings or emotions to struggle about. In fact i feel as though it was a release......

Hatred, might be too strong a word to use.
But at least I know I really dislike this place.

To voice out: "This semester has been the greatest semester I had." I have wonderful lab sessions, I met up with wonderful lab group mates, I had my share of fun and the bonding was good. It's so unlike other semesters, whereby lab sessions was at the minimal, and lectures was almost everything just "to make us great researchers of the future'.

If only things were as great at the beginning.
My love for education, has in fact, been traumatized by the school system since year1.
Haha, nuff said about the system, only the geeks and genius love it.
Unfortunely, i don't fall to the above categories.

Four weeks, that's all I need.
And I will be free.
Yeah!!!

A Little Update

2009-04-01T21:13:00.005+08:00

Current Mood: Lost
Current Song: Still in Love with You by Jonas Brothers
Current Read: Life Sciences in Physics Term Paper

I have unofficially finished school since the semester break five weeks ago. Occasionally, I do make guest appearances for the lab practicals, tests or report submissions. My attendance was so bad that some uni friends jokingly want to celebrate a "school reopen ceremony" for me when I saw them the other day.

Boo.

2 more reports to rush.
3 more tests to struggle.
4 more weeks till exam.
5 more exam papers for my school life.
And I will be officially done with my entire education life.

The road ahead seems so welcoming, yet so traumatizing and unclear. I longed to reach the other side of the road when I just started university, but now I'm thinking otherwise. Joining the BioBiz seminar talk the other day make things worst. I didn't know that the market is so bad now.

In fact I'm backing out, and wish to study for a year more or two. Even though I don't really like the marking system of my university in general (those competitions within friends to fight for the top 5% to get As), I still think it will be better then those politics I got to handle in a working environment.

Sigh. The route ahead is so gloomy.

That application in Germany.
I'm hoping the best out of it.

Friendships

2009-03-15T00:08:00.011+08:00

Met up with the boys on Friday.

It have been almost a year ever since we met up, and it was a night of an usual catch up, talking about things I won't just share with many, things about the closet affairs. It was a warmth evening that I enjoyed, breaking myself from the books and notes. Friends, I have many, some true friends among whom I value highly. I thank them for always being there for me, whenever I need; wherever I need; being my true friends.

Bad mouthing, betrayal, hatred, I have seen too many cases of best friends breaking up. I'm lucky that it hasn't really happen to me yet, or has happened but just that I was kept in the dark. I used to prioritize friendship alot, above family, career or even love. And now, perhaps I have grown up, I'm thinking otherwise.

No, don't judge me yet, cause if one really sit down and think, I bet he/she will think likewise. I'm just being realistic. Will you ever give up your love because your best friend don't like him/her??? Okay, I'm being on the extreme, but I'm just trying to bring the point over. I have plenty of friends whom I held so dearly at that certain stages of life. But as our lives drifted apart, many have now term as "acquaintances". It's definitely a sad thing, I might be at fault for not putting efforts into those friendships, or maybe is them, or maybe is both parties. Speaking about true friends, I guess I can count within the fingers of my both hands. How ironical isn't it?

True friends are those you don't need to meet everyday, see everyday, talk everyday. It's an affair about soul bonding. An occasional message, an out-of-the-blue phonecall, and you will feel the friendship everyday. I think that's more then enough.

12 years of friendship is long I know... But still I have not enough of it yet. Haha.

True friends is all that matters. =)

EMO KING

2009-03-01T03:00:00.013+08:00

Current Mood: Mood-less
Current Song: Carrie Underwood's ver of I'll stand by you
Current Read: Immunobiology by Janeway

Quote: "Shawn is an emo king".
-By Alvin Tay-

Hahaha, how true. I did the colorgenics test once again. Haha, and this time round, very emo indeed (and yet realistic at the same time). Totally opposite result from the one I did couple of years back.

At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

In the past your trusting attitude has often been misunderstood and so you have needed to protect yourself against your tendency to be abused and taken advantage of. As a consequence you possibly adopt an aloof and critical attitude and you are only willing to let your guard down once sincerity and trustworthiness can be assured.

If only dreams come true...

Life is vulnerable

2009-02-23T04:04:00.005+08:00

Current Mood: Sad
Current Song: Amazing Grace (Music)
Current Read: Biotechnology Practical 1

After that day I saw LT Bernard during the career fair, my mind has been wandering to that little room in 4SIR Lim Chu Kang Camp 2, whereby a few of us called it home for a year or two. At the corner of that room sit a lovely, bubbly, and very plump woman who wore perfume and carried a fake LV bag. The room was always filled with her laughter, and she’s probably one of the reasons I don’t hate army as much as some of my friends.

She’s one hell a good superior who understand army boys. Once, I was still writing a report 9pm in the night when she was about to knock off. She told me to stop my work, reminding me that I’m just a NSF and work can never be finished. Then she treated me supper before we left the camp together. Another occasion, I was having problem with the medical centre due to an implemented urine regime by the Commanding Officer. To cut the story short, I was told to take up the duties meant for the medics. She protected me by barking back to the officers, and tried to shield me for being bullied. In the end, although Bernard and I was still the one being arrowed, I’m still grateful how she tried to protect us.

A year in 4SIR with her and the rest has been a joyous affair. We worked like a family. She was the mother of a handful of soldiers who she called them as darlings. Adam, Mike, Bernard, “Shawn” just to name a few. We complained to her, and she complained to us. We worked for her, and she gossiped to us. Our team spirit was so high that once the Commanding Officer commented that we are too happy and told us to be more serious in work. -_-” And so we gave him black faced whenever he entered the room. Other than that, we are still that funky, happy bunch of people playing as hard as we worked.

As I was thinking about how going back to camp this coming June wasn’t a bad idea, cause I will be seeing this old lady once again, I received the most shocking text from Adam. The text reads, “Madam Rosnita died yesterday due to a heart failure.”

*Blank*

It was too sudden.

I was heartbroken.

Life is so vulnerable.

As I vividly remembered how she used to care and concern about her subordinates including me, and knew that I won’t be seeing her again this coming June, tears started to roll down from my face. She taught me many things from her thirty-something years of army experience. She taught me how to take things easy, and not to give oneself too much stress. She taught me how to be more street smart by closing one eye. In fact, she’s the one that let me feel that serving NS isn’t that bad after all. Coz, unlike many other regular officers, she was a democratic leader with no airs, and has a lovely motherly image.

Although Bernard and I will be going back together (I think) this coming June, the room we used to work together will no longer be the same without her laughter.

The energy of joy in the room has gone.

So has her.

Chief, rest in peace.

Alex's Wedding

2009-02-11T00:02:00.016+08:00

Current Mood: Clueless bout life
Current Song: Lovebug by Jonas Brothers
Current Read: Microbiology Practical 1

Some friends and I had a long talk with Prof Sim today, a kind lady with alot of lifelong experiences to share. As she quoted, "Just try your best! Eventually if you didn't get till where you want, you will still be somewhere close to there." Yup, a quote that is so real and motivating, but yet so dreamy and ironical. I remembered I used to tell my folks this same old quote, but the only reply I got back from them was, "Don't think too far. Just be a normal person, seek a normal job, get a normal pay, and lead a normal life..." *laughs* I don't blame them at all, cause I guess they are seeing things from another perspective of life.

True enough, in a place like Singapore, there's already too much challenges for a normal Singaporean to face. Singaporean kids have been bought up understanding the fact that "A good qualification equals to securing a good job of high pay, that permits one to live in luxury, buy a house, get a car and go to the ideal destination for holiday." I believe that the younger generation will fit well into this little cosmopolitan city. As for me, I just feel that I don't fit in so perfectly.

3 months from now, I will be graduating. But yet, I still can't figure out the path ahead of me. I thought I want to be a marine biologist, but then again, Research = no money, money = no research. And so, I came back to the starting point again.

On a happier note, Alex's wedding was over last last Saturday. A union of two hearts. How sweet. The food was quite good as compared with other hotels, and the "wine appreciation" session thereafter was crazy. Haha. Pictures:

Sweet.

The vow of a lifetime.

The Brothers and the poly cliques.

Another photo while waiting for the ceremony to begin.

The Wedding Dinner at Roxy Hotel.

Us, including Sam's pretty girlfriend.

We took up 1/4 of the card meant for all guests to write our wishing.

The girls.

The boys.

Girls from Table 20.

The guys from Table 20.

And lastly, as the couple was too busily entertaining other people.
We cam-whored in front of 24 other tables!!!
It started from Hua and BL, and then two boys followed.
Then it went click click click, click click click...
Until Jeffery came to us and said,
"Whao lau, you four add up together already100 years old still do this!!!"
-_-" then we went back to the table for... *ahem* wine appreciation.

Had fun.

The Wedding Bell Rings

2009-01-10T17:52:00.005+08:00

Current Mood: Joyous
Current Song: Canon in D
Current Read: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

January 2009.
Two weddings.
A month of love, reunion and joy.

L-O-V-E stands for love.
Simple to spell,
Difficult to understand.
A lifetime to know it.

Cousin WeiGuang marrying in a week time;
The first male within our generation.
Never expect him to be the one;
Cause he's always the studious one among all.

Alex's next.
The last day of the month.
The last day of singlehood.
But yet, a love of everlasting.

A church wedding,
As the "Canon in D" plays,
A wedding of a lifetime.
Congratulations dudes.

Love.
A wildly misunderstood,
Although highly desirable malfunction of the heart,
Which weakens the brain,
Causes eyes to sparkle,
Cheeks to glow,
Blood pressure to rise,
And the lips to pucker.

Love.
Does not consist of gazing at each other,
But in looking together in the same direction.

Love.
Two souls, one heart;
that's the quote.

Forever;
That's the word.

Best wishes.

Oh, that fucking innocent kid

2009-01-06T01:13:00.019+08:00

Current Mood: Contemplative
Current Song: I have a dream, Westlife's version
Current Read: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

O, I was once that fucking ambitious kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

I want to be a high tech farmer,
That's when I was taking my O's.
I want to open an aquaculture farm,
That's when I was taking my O's.

Oh, was that me?
Oh, was that me?
Yeah, that was me.
Yeah, that was me.

I want to be a cafe owner,
That's when I was graduating from poly.
I want to study coffee in Italy,
That's when I was graduating from poly.

Oh, was that me?
Oh, was that me?
Yeah, that was me.
Yeah, that was me.

...

O, I was once that fucking studious kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

Six months time from now,
I'll be graduating,
Whether I like it not.
Four months time thereafter,
NSF in that green uniform will be my status,
Whether I like it not.

And when everything's over,
I will be a goner.
Cause I can't see my future ahead.
And when everything's over,
I will be a goner,
Cause I dunno what I want in life.

...

O, I was once that fucking optimistic kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

I shall continue with school, shall I?
That Master in Molecular Biosciences in Germany?
That Master in Applied Medical Biotechnology in Sweden?
I want to continue with school, can I?

I shall step into the workforce, shall I?
Be that researcher who work till the day I die in some laboratories?
Be that clinical trial associate who travel around?
I don't want to step into the workforce, can I?

...

I was once that fucking ambitious kid.
I was once that fucking studious kid.
I was once that fucking optimistic kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

I was that fucking innocent kid.
I was that innocent kid.
I was that kid.
With big dreams, high hopes, and lovely wishes.

...

And now, I'm no longer that kid.
Cause I no longer have big dreams.
Cause I no longer have high hopes.
Cause I no longer have lovely wishes.

And now, I'm no longer that kid.
Cause life fucks me up.
Cause reality fucks me hard.
Cause I was fucked.

End Post of 2008

2008-12-31T06:36:00.015+08:00

Current Mood: Calm, yet confused
Current Song: 突然好想你 by Mayday
Current Read: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

I suppose this will be my last entry of the year 2008, cause 2009 is starting in just about 17 hours time. Two years back, this time, I'm in Taiwan having the best countdown in my entire life. Alex was there with us, and now he's getting married! Haha, congrats dude. One year ago, this time, I was getting ready to cycle overnight with some dear old friends. Kok Guan was there with us, and now he's in New Hampshire. Haha, have fun there bro, and date a Hispanic woman! This year shall be a simple affair of drinking by the beach with the friends who stick to me thin and thick all these 11 to 13 years.

Wrapping up 2008, I have my fair share of ups and downs. School was as usual busy, though I'm enjoying it in another way. I went to the casino for the first time in June with the folks, and won myself 500 bucks. Then I got myself a little trip to Hongkong with the buddies after working as a hard labour at Ulu Tuas, and came back from hongkong with four big blisters and two small ones. Baby Bryce was born in October, and now he's the little tyrant of the house with his thunder cries. Oh yeah, he can even do a hi-5 back to me now though he's only 3 months old. Hmmmm, I met a girl, and she rejected me; I met a boy and I rejected him. And I concluded that I attract more gays then girls, which is goddamn sad.

I'm reckon the new year will be a year of crisis. First and foremost, I will be one of the pathetic victims of the economic crisis since I'll be entering the workforce this coming June when the economy is right at its downfall. But the worst could have been the fact that I will be turning 25 (though I just celebrated by 24th birthday couple of days back), and I'm kinda sure I'm entering my quarter-life crisis RIGHT NOW.

Symptoms of Quarter-Life Crisis
(extracted from Wikipedia)

√ feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level (starting soon I guess)

√ frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career (ahhh, i don't want to work!)

√ confusion of identity (not in the gay way la!)

√ insecurity regarding the near future (yes, very!!!)

√ insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals (i've never meet any of my goals since 2004 ended.)

√ insecurity regarding present accomplishments (not enough A's for the degree! haha!!!)

√ re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships (true friends, a few will do.)

X disappointment with one's job (not yet, soon. But I hope not..)

√ nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life (those around me will know...)

X tendency to hold stronger opinions (still okay la!)

√ boredom with social interactions (I start to hate clubbing recently.)

X loss of closeness to high school and college friends (I'm fortunate we are still close over the years.)

√ financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.) (and that stupid economic crisis!)

√ loneliness (no comments)

X desire to have children (no comments)

X a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you (luckily I still have that little bit of self esteem left...)

I scored 11/16 of the above-mentioned symptoms, how great(!!!). But nonetheless, I'm still looking towards 2009 positively, and hopefully I would get what I want at the end of the year. =) 2009, here I come!!!

HAPPY 2009 BABES AND HUNKS!!!

Malacca Trip

2008-12-16T23:16:00.017+08:00

Current Mood: Relax
Current Song: 捕夢人-潘裕文
Current Read: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

ALOHA!

Just came back from an impromptu self-drive car trip from Malacca with some of the family members. Nothing interesting there, probably just some nice heritage tours to follow, but the foods there were GOOD(!). Tried the famous Hainanese Chicken Ball Rice, Satay Celup, Melaka Assam Laksa, but my favorite still goes to Chendol with the superb black sugar syrup. It was orgasmic.

Clockwise from top left: Chicken Ball Rice, Assam Laksa, Satay Celu and Chendo.

The Heritage Tour

Random pictures.

Mr. Watermelon Man
The one and only thing I bought from Malacca.
The shopping there was WORST then Singapore!

Home sweet home.

Besides the Malacca trip, the lifestyle after exams has been relaxing. It basically involves of catching up with friends I haven't meet for a long time, WII-ing with the brother, babysitting little Bryce, as well as practicing VAMPIRE-ISM (Haha, I have been sleeping at 8am everyday in the morning, and wake up at 12mn ever since the school holiday starts).

Random pictures just uploaded from my handphone:

Bryce.

Bryce again.

Bryce being kissed.

Bryce being hugged.

In the arms of 外公.

Aftermath of studying too much (1): Good luck for exam?
Wear red, eat red, and have a red head.

Aftermath of studying too much (2): Can't memorize facts?!?
Take a picture using a hand phone and look at it whenever u go.
E.g. In the toilet when u poo.

I wish December never ends,
January never comes.
Dread school.

THE EXAMS

2008-11-15T18:43:00.008+08:00

The last lecture of cardiopulmonary systems ended with:

When you learn to appreciate the wonders of Human Physiology,
you will also begin to appreciate what our bodies can do,
and to live our lives in such a way that will preserve the body we exist in.
Human physiology, life and existence are inseparable.

A/Prof Fabian Lim
Exercise Physiologist

And yes, yours truly no nuts of this fucking module even after 13 weeks of slogging. All I can said is Human physiology, sad life and predicted C grade are inseparable. Fuck it.

I will see what I can do in the next one week. =(

Study Equations

2008-11-03T18:55:00.008+08:00

Current Mood: Lethargic
Current Song: Way Back into Love
Current Read: Food Microbiology Practical Notes

Sigh. Exactly four more weeks to the finale, and I'm still feeling lethargic and haven't got the drive to study as yet. I really hate the idea that I will soon be leading a monotonous lifestyle of "camping" in the library for 8am - 10pm for the entire one month. But then again, I think I will hate myself more for the exam results if I choose to slack my way through till the exam. To cheer things up, the Big-A and Peiyan has already piled up many biscuits and snacks in their locker in preparation for our "stay-in" period.

Equation 1:
A: Got food + study = Sad
B: No food + study = Manic depression
(So yeah, I will pile up some tidbits too, heh)

Some friends and I always like to marvel how smart some of our schoolmates really are, and getting ourselves emo for being not-so-smart. But then again, I think we are all born to be good in some ways or another, probably just not on the studying side. Nonethelss, we will still have to get down to do the dirty work of studying. So yeah, just be it.

Equation 2:
A: Smart people + studying = Grade A
B: Smart people + no studying = Grade A-
C: Not-so-smart people + Studying = Grade B+ / B / B- / C+
D: Not-so-smart people + no studying = N.A.
(Since the last method is non applicable, I will have to study!)

Some friends and I used to reminisce about how lucky (or smart) we used to be when we were in polytechnics or colleges, and wonder how it all turned out this way. But i guess let's not stir things up to make ourselves sadder; and buck up for the remaining semesters. 我们可以的！

Equation 3:
(only apply to those who fall in equation 2c)
A: Got good luck in examination = Grade A-
B: A little bit of luck in examination = Grade B+ / B
C: No luck in examination: Grade B- / C+

Wish me some (good) luck! =(

The Finale Once More

2008-10-30T17:37:00.007+08:00

Current Mood: Relax
Current Song: Have you Ever by Brandy
Current Situation: Cracking the brains with Respiratory Physio Notes

Yet another semester ending. One more term paper, two more practical reports, the final exams, and I will be done for the semester. Presentation for research project was over on Tuesday. And after the whole research project, I'm more or less concluded that I won't stay in the laboratory for good in the future. I just can't forsee myself "talking" to the cells and DNA everyday, and holding the pipette till the day I retired. Then again, it contradicts with my intention of furthering a master degree in Canada or US after I graduate. Haha. The path ahead seems so far and unclear.

Met up with some poly mates since Darren came back from Vietnam to visit his girlfriend (awww sweet). It was rather an impromptu meet-up. Nevertheless, it was still great to see them after countless of months. And you will be surprised to see how the girls changed when they have stepped into the working force. Audrey got a good job and still seems to be blissfully in love with her boy, BL became a pretty OL (haha, it rhythmes hor), and Butt seems to have this "i wanna to marry soon" look (haha, opps). Let's hope the New Zealand plan I had with Butt and Alo next year will be a successful one.

It will be marvelous to drive in a mini car with lovely people and listening to some old songs, and to be surrounded with green scenery, beautiful flowers, and cute animals.

Back to BASIC

2008-10-09T02:09:00.019+08:00

Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Warwick Ave by Duffy
Current Situation: Fucking the UROPS report

Something simple for the blog.

So sister had gave birth to a boy on the 7th instead. He had a nose and overall face shape of his dad, and lips of my sis's. Can't really determine his eyes yet, I only saw him opened them once!!! He was weighed 3.310kg, and his and sis's room number is 3310. So the family bet quite a few hundred bucks on this number for Sat and Sun 4D! Haha. Here's his blog link: Bryce's Little World

Little Bryce sleeping.

He finally opened his eyes a little on the 2nd day.

Out of the 3 tests I gone through so far, today's test seems to be the worst. I misread the last question wrongly and is like 20%!!! Damn the common pathway besides the extrinsic and intrinsic! But sigh, just be it la. Piling hopes for the other modules cause Human Physiology is totally out for me! On random, I think i should really learn thai next semester or after graduate. =)

One more month to the EXAM! Hooray! -_-"

Random Updates

2008-10-02T01:29:00.003+08:00

Now Kok Guan's gone, and hopefully I will see a better him in a year or two. =)

And the other two handsome ones, come back guys for a diving session together!!! I miss the sun, the beach, the tan, the water, the fishes, and the escapism from reality.

Been on sleeping pills (again) these days.
Can't sleep. Always thinking about what had happened, and what will happen next.
I came to a point in time that I know I will bring it across to you with an expressionless face, a still-aching heart, and a body with no more soul. I just can't smile (like I used to) again.

Tests coming soon, reports piling up, and when everything done with, the exam follows. Sigh, wake me up when the semester is over. =)

And that little nephew of mine is coming on 6th Oct 2008. =) Waiting anxiously for his arrival. Finally a happy issue over the rest.

My tooth

2008-09-23T08:04:00.002+08:00

I broke my tooth!

I couldn't open a bottle cap using my hands, so I decided to use my teeth to try. The cap came out eventually, but I scarified a tooth for it!!! Fuck that Allswell water chestnut drink!!!

And I guess I must be the most retarded person on earth to have a broken tooth in such a way.

Mamma mia!

2008-09-22T04:00:00.004+08:00

Feeling: Trying to get strong
Read: Microbiology Lecture Note 1

Mamma mia the movie was surprisingly good. Ting and I went out of the movie humming "Dancing Queen". It was so ABBA!!! Meryl steep's voice was gorgeous, especially on "The Winner takes it all", not to mention that there was Pierce Brosnan's looks for Hua to drool for (since he probably can't sing at all, even though he seems to have tried real hard). Haha. Dominic Cooper's version of "Lay your love all over me" with Amanda Seyfried was my favourite scene. It was such a classic. Other than that, "money money money" tempo was nice. I like. =)

Waiting for High School Musical 3!

Shawn Tay is dead.

2008-09-13T04:36:00.009+08:00

Feeling: Kind of calm?
Read/Write: Microbiology Practical 2 lab Report
Music: Hey Jude by The Beatles

Hey Jude (Live) - Paul McCartney, Elton John, Eric Clapton and Sting

I so love Beatles especially in sleepless nights like tonight.
Yeah, Retrophilic freak I am.

Some friends in school commented how tired I looked these days. With so many things added on together, I'm really traumatized by what has happened. There is a lowest point in everyone's life, and I just happened so to be in such situation right now. I thank those who did came to me and show care and concern. But I'm sorry, I just don't know how to break such things to you people. But really, it's appreciated. *smile*

On a random note, I feel like changing the spelling of my English name to Sean, Shayn or Shane. No specific meanings I guess, just maybe feel like living away from the past, and getting rid of those memories that hurts, especially from the past one month.

Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

Sean Tay

I want it my way

2008-08-28T03:47:00.012+08:00

Feeling: Gave up
Song: My Way by Elvis Presley

My Way - Elvis Presley Live

My way. Originated from Frank Sinatra, but i love this manly version by Elvis Presley. Strong powerful lyrics that always make me stronger.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

Just yesterday I had a quarrel. A fucking bad quarrel. If only I insisted on doing it my way, things might have been very different. Regrets, I have a few, but this would have killed me entirely. I kept pondering through the whole night, should I, or should I not. It's no longer about decision making anymore. It's no longer about hoping anymore. It's about the best for us all. I see it through. No one is at fault, just that I hate this never ending issue between the three of us.

Now, I gave up. I have it your way. In time to come, I might regret. I promise I won't blame you. Till then, the feelings might be different. But promise me too, don't blame me for being selfish when the time comes. I would want it my way by then, which I thought it will be better for us.

On a lighter note, High School Musical 3 is coming to town!!! Any ontakers who seek similar genres in movies? Heh.

BlooD!!! Agrhhh.

2008-08-26T22:05:00.004+08:00

Feeling: Pang sai kor bia
Read: Human physiology notes on blood

The damn bloody notes on blood is damn bloody difficult to digest. Bloody hell. Nuff said, I should have attend the lecture this morning. =) Opps.

Today I spilled a whole gel tray of TBE buffer containing Ethidium Bromide onto my feet. Fuck, and the worst could have been, I was wearing scandals!!! I think I'm cursed to have cancer in fifty years down the road with those carcinogenic Ethidium Bromide leftovers pierced through my skin, sept through the skin cells and cell proliferation occurred.

Haha, I exaggerated a little. But the feeling really sucks, and make sure I will wear covered shoes for the remaining lab sessions!!! =)

My momentum to study is not back yet. =(
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(Or maybe it was never there, haha)

射雕英雄传

2008-08-26T03:18:00.013+08:00

I used like three days to complete 50 episodes of the new 射雕英雄传.
The duration for each episode is almost an hour each.
So if i slept for eight hours on average for the three days,
The remaining 16 hours were glued on the screen!!! Haha.

I don't know about the classic edition in 1983 since I wasn't even born then. But this edition is much better then that of 1994 by Athena Chu and Julian Cheung Chi Lam, and definitely better then the boring edition in 2003 by Faye Wong's husband and Zhou Xun. This edition is a drama with the combination of love and wuxia components, and it became so "偶像剧" style! Haha. And I love the 蓉儿 in this edition since 林依晨 was the one acting in it, just that she didn't really portrayed the "evil" part of 蓉儿 that well. 东邪黄药师, as well as the 北丐洪七公 portrayed their characters very well though, with the former having this charisma, and the latter being so righteous and upright that was described in 金庸's actual novel. But the scriptwriter have changed the novel so much that there isn't any antagonists in the show. Even 杨康, 欧阳克 were all good people who 重情重义, and this the part I really can't stand. But still I would recommend this to those 金庸 fans. =)

靖康耻犹未雪
臣子恨何时灭

Maybe u will find love

2008-08-24T00:56:00.006+08:00

Feeling: Apathetic
Song: Let's start from here by Joanna Wang

Lets Start From Here - (Joanna Wang)

I stared at the computer screen for twenty minutes and I don't know what to write. I'm too lost with words. And life too.

If we could just put down the past, give up everything, and just walk away, we might be happier. Just today, I wished I could have packed my bag, booked an air ticket, and flew to somewhere else alone. Maybe on the streets somewhere faraway, I might be able to get you out of my mind, my thoughts, and my soul. Or perhaps, maybe not.

And if you thought u have lost your love. Think about it, there must be love somewhere. Down in the river below or hidden in the stars above. Without it, then what's life is all about. Look inside your heart, and look inside mine. When you found love, book an air ticket, and I will find you there.

In my heart.

First week of school

2008-08-18T22:34:00.010+08:00

Today marks the 1st day of the second week of school. Lectures has begun, yet I'm still in my semi-horrendous-holiday mode. Chosen to concentrate in Biomedical Sciences after much thoughts even though I seriously hate biochemistry to the core. And luckily Pharmacology and Human Physiology (Cardiopulmonary system) weren't that "biochemistry" afterall.

The first pharmacology tutorial was boo hoo hoo thou. When I thought I was rather prepared by reading the tutorial questions before it commenced, people flowed in with answers that goes like "wow Wow WOw WOW!" I guess I need to be more proactive the next time round cause the lecturer called names for answers. -_-"

Forensic Science was fun, and I was impressed by the lecturer, Stella Tan. She got like 3 degrees from NUS that includes of a honor degree in Life Sciences and Master degree in Genetic Engineering from Faculty of Science, and another law degree from the Faculty of Law. Standing @ more then 175cm tall, she had represented Singapore in some universe pageant and model contests. Definitely a woman with beauty and brains.

Wake me up when the semester ends. Bah.

Pictures from Ocean Park. I really enjoyed being there (minus the Cs).

At the entrance.

Hot air balloon ride.

Buddies.

Brothers.

school. yucks. boo.

Hong Kong Trip

2008-08-16T03:25:00.006+08:00

Feeling: Sleepless
Song: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

Im Yours - Jason Mraz

Every time I stepped into the airport,
Be it standing at the gate biding farewell to friends;
Or standing at the viewing tower looking at the planes,
I wish I was the one checking in the luggage,
Passing through the immigration counter,
And get the hell out of this place for a year or two.

A form of escapism?

Nope, perhaps not.
I guess is the urge to venture out,
Finding "life" to be inserted into my monotonous life.

Just some stupid random thoughts.

Just like Singapore, Hong Kong was seriously too fast paced for me to comfortably fit in. I would have two thumbs up for the shopping and transportation, other than that, I would have to say no-no if you are finding some places for a relaxation. Hong Kong is way too commercialized. Nonetheless, I did have fun with 买东西，吃东西，买东西，吃东西。

Here's it:

Day 1: Dinner at Sweet Dynasty followed by desserts at Happy Together Delicatssen, and Mango Desserts at Xu Liu Shan. Yum Yum, a good way to kickstart holiday in Hong Kong, with her famous food paradise.

Day 2: Dim Sum breakfast at the more than 100 years old history Luk Yu Tea house, followed by fighting with the infamous umbrellas people from the C-Country at Ocean Park (which Li Guo Liang has yet to sent me the pics). We got burnt in the sun and became roasted pigs, before shopping at Causeway Bay. Reece-ED at Lan Kwai Fong for the clubbing next day before calling it a day. Oh yeah, we managed to squeeze in 2 hours at Central's H&M before dinner at 10pm and spotted some paparazzi and celebrities!!!

Day 3(1): One of my favorite day. Visited the famous Lantau Island's Big Buddha, followed by the fishing village at TaiO. We spent almost 2 hours trying to figure out how to (not kanna cheat) and purchase some good dried 干贝 for the mothers. Imagine three big guys getting all messy with how to choose the right ones, which in the end, we still bought the wrong ones. -_-"

Day 3(2): Club Beijing was chosen for the night to club, but in the end we didn't manage to get in due to a police triad which was as cool as what one could see in those Hong Kong drama. "Club-hopped" to Club Sugar due to no choice, and had the whole night dancing till like 3am! And I'm kinda sure I would club more on Friday nights if sure clubs are found in Singapore! They are hell happening! Some disclosed photos before the clubbing session.

Day 4(1): Visited the famous Lam Tsuen Wishing Trees whereby we basically opened our wallets and let the aunties there ~~chopped chopped and chopped~~ helped us with the praying! They no longer have those amulets to throw up the trees. Instead, they have a "noticeboard" to hang amulets which is "very commercialized". Rather disappointed. Shopping at Sha Tin followed by The Peak. The view was rather astonishing, and the supper at Macau Restaurant was just as great.

Day 4(1): Random pictures of me playing a fool in the Madame Tussauds at The Peak.

Day 5/6: Macau was indeed a city of casinos. They can gambled from poker cards to horses, to even dogs. The dog racing course we went for the first night is rather cool, and I lost a total of $140 Singapore dollars in the casinos. Damn! The old Portuguese ruins, the rundown houses of the locals, and the newly built classy casinos contrast one another, and formed a really nice and unique place on its own. But the ghost encounter that fateful night was something really unbearable. Speaking of it, my hairs would still stand. Agrhhhh. Ask me for details if you wanna know. Kinda lazy to type it all out. Hahaha.

Day 7/8: The last two days were basically spent on shopping in Mong Kok, Kowloon and Temple street, etc, and had a superb dinner at the famous Steakhouse along Lai Chi Kok Road. Visited the Avenue of Stars on the Tsim Sha Tsui waterfront promenade, and have a good view of the famous Hong Kong skyline. But I still prefer the view on The Peak though.

That's basically sum up my Hong Kong trip. And now, is back to the boring school term. Yucks.

Sem 5. Two more sems to go!

有“感”而发

2008-08-09T07:08:00.026+08:00

Feeling: 说不出来的伤感
Song: 爱与希望by林俊杰

ai yu xi wang - jj lin

欢笑过后的宁静，欢乐过后的寂寞，总有一种“说不出来的伤感”。不喜欢二十来岁的自己，少了以前青春岁月中的那一股叛逆，却多了一份莫名其妙的悲伤。

忧郁，好像是用来形容不快乐的人的。。。不知在何年何日，自己也变成了一个不快乐的人。

有过的梦，似乎跟流失的时间一样，飘的好远好远。在梦与现实之中，我终于选择了现实。

梦，醒了。

我真的从梦中苏醒了。

---------------------------------------------------------

给“最后溺爱中的女主角”：

无论如何，我都会在背后支持你的。当你感到寂寞难过的时候，我会在一旁陪你说话。当你需要哭诉的时候，总有我的肩膀给你靠。要加油哦！

---------------------------------------------------------

伟贤：*等待着希望*

HONG KONG RAWKS!

2008-08-07T02:39:00.002+08:00

I'm back from the land of shopping since last Friday with four blisters on my feet, a burnt nose and a shagged body which took me more then 20 hours of sleep to recover. Hong Kong wasn't too bad, but apparently I would have prefer Taiwan. The 7kg worth of clothings for the family, the HAWT weather, the fighting on the peak tram with the C-country people, a ghost story we encountered in Macau, probably will sum up my entire HK trip.

Admit defeat with four blisters on my feet.

A close view of the pathetic feet.

Lazy on the details, but I'm great we really came back to Singapore in one piece. Phew. Nonetheless, I still have my share of fun. Pictures later.

Life

2008-07-20T13:05:00.003+08:00

Feeling: Blank
Current Read: The Ancestor's Tale by Richard Darwins

I came to a point in life that I don't dare to dream anymore.
No hopes, no dreams, thus no disappointments. =)
Someone told me to be contended with what I have;
Cause I already have a very smooth life journey.
All I was trying to do now is trying to make my life difficult.
I gave him a smile, and kept quiet.

I wish I was as simple as what he thought.

On a happier note, Hong Kong in four days time!!!
Can't wait for the little getaway with the buddies.
And seriously, our itinerary looks more like an army excursion;
Firstly, all boys.
And then it comprises of waking up fucking early in the mornings;
And sleep very late at nights (thanks to clubbing, casino-ing, pubbing).
But I'm sure we going to have hell loads of fun.

School starting in three weeks time.
I'm going to give my last best shot.
I really dunno what I want in the future.

I just wish I would have a solution by then.

Life.

Lazy Update

2008-06-22T17:08:00.011+08:00

Feeling: Peaceful
Song: Moon River by Henry Mancini

Moon River - Henry Mancini

Like the peacfulness of this song with a note of sadness. A lazy sunday at home with gloomy weather makes me a real slacker (or peacemaker!). Basically I did nothing today, but just listening to some nice songs. I see some blues for the monday ahead though. Damn.

Irene's belated birthday yesterday was at this korean restaurant - Maru at the the former Madam Wong pub. Haha, while walking on the street of Mohammed Sultan, Hua and I can actually visualized the pathment by the road where we used to sit and play scissors-paper-stone after getting ~~drunk~~ high @ 18. Yes! we used to be this young. Haha.

Friends for 7 years.

Another shot of acting cute. Haha. Rene and I are not doing the job.

S-I-K

Me and the birdie girl.

It's amazing how friends met at some points of life due to simliar aims at that moment. But then due to different objectives in life thereafter, we actually grew up and became very different individuals. Gone were the days when we had the one for all, all for one motto. Gone were the days we had sleepovers and little conflicts during group projects. Gone were also the days we cursed and swore for the same test and exam. But the bond we once shared isn't gone, in fact it became stronger and matured. That's life I suppose.

Father's day was a simple buffet dinner at Swissotel Merchant Court last sunday. The durian paste was as usual orgasmic, and the sashimi were great. But the greatest deal was that fathers did not need to pay that day, and can eat for free. Haha.

An emo0oing daddy.

Coincidentally, the tay's sibings wore stripes that day.

I love the people in my life.

Work Eat Sleep

2008-06-15T03:22:00.005+08:00

Feeling: Moodless
Current Read: The Ancestor's Tale by Richard Darwins
Song: Always Be my Baby by David Cook

I have been writing more and more on the private diary on livejournal, instead of blogging there. I guess some stuffs are not very appropriate to voice out here, especially those on decision makings (and gossips, haha). Nope, I'm not having any serious problems, just that I have a very montonous life these days to narrate to people. I wake up 6am every morning, and sleep at 11pm every night.

Job at this pharmaceutical firm construction site in Tuas was fine. But my daily job scope of photocopying and scanning can be fucking boring. Occasionally, the engineers would bring me into the almost completed plant to take a look. They got this general assumption that life sciences is about all about manufacturing things from these plants. They built and we used. Haha. The boss suggested to me to work in the company's new plant after graduating, hopefully he's not trying to crack a conversation and really call his big boss to employ me one year down the road.

The worst from the company could have been the temporary canteen; there's like only one halal and one non halal stall. Last thursday I found a worm in the rice I bought from the non halal stall, and ate half of it (it's quite crunchy by the way). I want to try the halal food, but it was infested with the blue collar workers during the lunch time. I don't mean to sound mean since they are doing their jobs, and without them, the plant wouldn't be built up. But if u imagine u need to inhale large amount of gas with a blend of sweat odour and "coconut oil from little india" before eating ur lunch, u properly will lost your appetite like I do. Anyway, I boycott the canteen entirely, and depend on homecook food to fill the stomach everyday. My mum is so lovely to cook me food to bring there every morning. =)

Met up with the guys on Friday after work. And we, being greenhorns in red wine, went into a wine bar in Holland V and ordered a bottle of red wine to chill out after claypot rice dinner @ Clementi. ahha, we didn't ordered the cheapo type one hor. Haha, anyway it was a "sweet first time", cause the red wine doesn't taste as bad as those I drank during clubbing. We had a good sharing session, and I really appreciated their presences whenever I have problems and vice versa. Friends of 11 years (13 for GL), I guess they understand me the most. =)

End of my unexciting and boring entry.

I'm (not) gay

2008-06-01T03:32:00.010+08:00

Feeling: Sick =(
Current Film: 《蜂蜜幸运草》
Song: Always Be my Baby by David Cook

Always Be My Baby (Studio) - David Cook

I never understand why hua kept idolizing David Cook as I was in the midst of preparing the exam when American Idol Season 7 was on tv. Then I stumbled onto his version of Always be my baby, and love his sad, hoarse voice version compared to that of Mariah Carey. He's good.

Congrats kok guan de bro for ur new job in Lonza. I gonna miss you when u are in New Hampshire for the next 18months, but I'm jealous too. *feel my jealousy in the air* Haha.

I almost puked out the coffee I was drinking this morning when my mum actually told me to go after Jun's sister who is 7 years old younger than me. That was perhaps her last straw of action after trying in vain to test out all my close gal friends who I got no feelings on. I reckon she would have put me up on the coming great singapore sales this coming june if she could, and I presume that this sudden pop-out issue must have been the wonder of the gossip mouths of those long distance relatives from my mum's side who went genting with us.

Seriously, I would love to get into a relationship one day if I managed to find the right person. But being single doesn't put me off as a gay right?!?!!? Haha. Well, if you put me up on the controversial Kinsey scale that has a 7 points – ranging from 0 (exclusively heterosexual), 3.5 (exclusively bisexual) and 7 (exclusively homosexual), I would have put myself off with a point 2 - 3 due to the reasons stated by mum that I almost laughed my ass off listening to them.

1. I love pink and purple besides green. (Does that make girls who like blue lesbians?)
2. I styled my hair on a daily basis. (I guess she has forgot how I look during the exam period.)
3. I used facial products, unlike my brother who can just sleep without washing up after a long day @ work. (Mum, that's about personal hygience.)
4. I love to swim. (jaw dropped when she actually told me that.)
5. I've did an eyebrow threading before that failed miserably.
6. I have diamond studs on my latest slippers, a pressie from the poly peeps and I'm loving it.
7. I love shopping.
8. I watch idol drama. (Who say i idolized Wu Zun?!?! I like my Ariel Lin. haha)

I told her (rather sarcastically) that too bad that I still prefer having a seafood meal over a chicken set, and I would love to have two big complimentary coconuts that come along with the dinner over two small fishballs.

She burst out laughing, and say i'm as dirty minded as my dad. -_-"

That's my mum but I love her still.

IM BACK!!!

2008-05-27T01:39:00.009+08:00

Feeling: Rejuvenated with 22 hours of sleep
Current Film: 《蜂蜜幸运草》
Song: Summer Nights by John Travolta

Summer Nights - Grease

I'm so into musical movies these days that I actually spent the whole day and night rewatching GREASE, HAIRSPRAY, WESTSIDE STORY, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL I and II before embarking the trip to genting. I am really amazed by the changes in John Travolta from the charming dude as Danny Zuko in GREASE to that of Tracy's plus-sized, reclusive laundress mother, Edna in HAIRSPRAY. Haha. Seriously, I think Zac Efron can't beat him in anything, except maybe his pair of blueish eyes that might have already killed thousands of girls his age.

And Genting was great though the journey back was really a torture. I swear I will bring along my mp3 player next time. Anyway, I did bring along the camera but only took two photos from it - one of dad, another of mum when we first checked in, and the gadget went into Judy's bag for the rest of the three days stay. LoL. And the classic was that I got my IC checked not once but THRICE for entering the casino. Yeah, I got that less-than-21-years-old-look (and kindda proud of it)! Hahaha.

Oh yeah, sister just had an ultrasound scan today, and her baby is a boY! Actually they were expecting a girl from the previous scan, but the kuku bird appeared out of all sudden, haha. Both of them are kindda disappointed since they prefer a girl, esp my brother-in-law who always want to be a daddy's girl's daddy. I would have prefer a boy thinking that boys are more fun to play with, and the fact that I'm sharing the room with the baby boy until the day I move out of the house (or brother moves out of the house). It is sort of confirmed that my mum will be looking after the baby during the weekdays after sister's delivery in october. Sister isn't willing to give up her job and so mum got to help her. As for me, I just can't get over the fact and start laughing when I know that mum is going to pass her throne of the MJ queen to others. She says she will have more trips to the genting during the weekends to satisfy her cravings. Haha. At least now I know I won't get pissed for waking up in the middle of my sleep by the sound of MJs and the laughters of the aunties. And there will be more chances for me to go genting with the mum and dad.

Looking forward to October and more genting trips. =)

Im a changed man

2008-05-21T08:11:00.008+08:00

Feeling: A summer that feels like winter
Current Read: "Like the Flowing River" by Paulo Coelho
Song: 1973 by James Blunt

1973 - James Blunt

"I AM A CHANGED MAN!"

Well that's probably the famous verse I've been procastinating and chanting in school everyday ever since two semesters ago. And in real fact, I didn't changed at all; as in I didn't study as hard as I wanted to, I didn't visit the library at all until the exam period, I probably didn't know what's going on for bioinformatics till the day I entered the examination hall (since I skipped 50% of the lectures and didn't bother to watch the webcasts). Nothing to be proud of, I know. Next sem will be better. Haha.

But I'm a changed man today in another context. I managed to sleep at 11 plus pm yesterday and wake up at 8 am today to catch the morning sun. Seriously, I almost forget the feeling of mornings since I have been sleeping at 6am every "morning" and waking up at 5pm every evening. Today marks the day I'll be a chao-slacker-no-more, and be a good kid wannabe. Haha. I plan to a dip in the pool, spent the day in the bookshop, and meet up a friend for high tea. I miss good food. =)

And I guess I will get a 3 months temp job soon since the scholarships' results are out, and I only managed to get two out of the three scholarships I applied for. I exceed the overall budget by 1K. I guess i can never get out of this "stay in Singapore for good" curse. But one thing I gonna mention is that Canada is a damn good place to further studies. I actually checked out their universities' tuitions fees and found out that they are way cheaper compared to UK, australia and the states, and there are more scholarships to apply for. Perhaps I could do my Master there if I manage to break the "stay in Singapore for good curse" and if they accept me. Close friends who know me well enough would have know how many umpteen times I try to get out of this little island, be it choosing the university for undergraduate studies to applying the semester and summer exchanges in NUS. There's always something holding me back at the end of the day. Just like choosing NUS back then was a decision from the folks and not by me. If I could care less for their feelings and be more determined, I might be in australia or New Zealand now considering those universities that had accepted me. I'm partially at fault too, since human beings love to live in comfort zone. Sigh. Really hope to venture the see the wider horizons one day.

Yeah one day, I will.

Is De Holiday!!!

2008-05-17T17:52:00.013+08:00

Feeling: Moodless
Current Read: Finishing up "Like the Flowing River" by Paulo Coelho I bought one year ago.
Song: Hi Hi Bye Bye by Cyndi wang

Hihi Byebye (FULL CD Version) - Cyndi Wang Xin Ling

Chanced upon this song on the radio after sending the best friend home after supper. Fast song has never been the genre of music I like, but the melody of this song is somehow nice. Exams over, and I fall sick immediately. Damn it! It would be better off if it was during the exam, then I could have skipped the exam entirely. The doctor said it was some bacterial infection, and told me to revisit him if I'm not cured after the antibiotics course. Boo hoo hoo.

Everything seems to be hanging in the air now, and all I got to do is to wait. I was supposed to look for a job, but the response I got through the interviews were quite negative when I told them I could only work for a month since I might be going for the summer exchange at Canada, Alberta this coming july. On the other hand, I am currently waiting for the scholarshipsSsSs' results anxiously and impatiently. If I couldn't get the scholarship, I would have to say "hi hi bye bye" to Canada; and if I haven't secure a job by then, my entire 3months holiday will be a waste. Sigh, hate such feelings.

Photos from Alvin's birthday in March directly after Cell biology Test.

Me and my best lab partner!

The cutest couple.

The smartest couple.

Moi favourite couple.

The birthday boy.

And then it was The Taurus girls' belated birthday celebration after de exams. The dinner was at the Japanese Marche at Raffles Shopping Centre, followed by games at MINDS which was hell heaps of fun.

Present Exchange Ceremony.

Christine's very practical birthday present.

Peiyan's with her Anna Sui in purple.

Zhen xiao mei and I.

The aftermath of playing The Bones.

The rose among the thorns.

The People with the Bones.

Girls. Girls.

Girls. Girls. Girls.

Zhen, py and I.

The Bones battle!

And who say size doesn't matters? Haha.

Mother's Day was at Grandma's house. As usual, it was a short but nice gathering with the paternal relatives. Bought that little boy to Bukit Panjang Plaza with the cousins and sis after the celebration . And he was so reluctant to leave his "gor gor" on our way home. Haha.

Grandma, Grandpa and the little boy.

Waiting for the cake impatiently.

Cutting de cake.

My youngest cousin and Barney.

*praying for my scholarshipsss*

Eeek! So old schooL!

2008-05-01T05:45:00.011+08:00

Feeling: Moodless
Current Clip: <<摩登如来神掌>> starring Andy Lau
Song: When I see you smile by Bad English

This old school song playing on imeem now coupled with the old film I just watched; actually get me into this emo shit. And do ask god why I can get into such an emotional state when the film I watched, was as a point of fact, an old hongkong comedy starring Andy Lau which Thomas and I were trying to figure out the title over dinner earlier on. (And dude, it’s called <<摩登如来神掌>>. Do watch it yeah, it’s damn hilarious.) Those nutty stuffs about 万佛潮州 and 天蟾脚 were really classics. And now, I understand why Hongkong movies was once so hot in the nineties, way before the Korean and Taiwan dramas came into place. Okay fine, I admit I was once in that era and declared myself as an old school boy. =)

Sometimes, I wonder what is actually the point of living, or rather what does life ought to be. Nope, please don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t in any suicidal mode, it was just probably a (not so) random thought which I shan't elaborate further to make people bored. And I probably will die one day if the cells in my body aren’t functioning anymore; cell proliferation occurs due to uncontrolled cell cycle, and I am diagnosed with cancer... CHOY! Pardon me yeah, that’s probably the aftermath of studying too much cell biology in a week. Haha, anyway the paper is over today and I’m so going to be screwed for the semester. Left that bioinformatics to be screwed. "Can't wait".

Ms Seah and Mr Lim, I freakingly miss you two like siao. Let's go for some cuppas after moi exam yeah?!?! =) And I so wanna watch this old school play again after exam.

1st of May

I'm a old man!!!

2008-04-30T02:32:00.009+08:00

Feeling: Overwhelmed with those cell cycle proteins that begin their synthesis after that fucker gatekeeper - retinoplasma protein knocked down!
Current Read: Chang's notes left untouched and exam in 14 hours time!
Song: 阳光宅男 by Jay Chou

Wa lau eh!
Go die la.
I'm a old man.

Sobz. =(

Myidk.com鑑定結果您的精神年齡29歲
與您實際年齡差6歲
幼稚度52％
成熟度68％
老化度25％

宣傳給朋友: Click Click

Eh, I shall put off as I'm a young man with a mature mindset! Wheeeeee! =P

成熟稳重 you know?! Haha.

1 down, 2 to go

2008-04-26T23:07:00.011+08:00

I hate the feeling of coming out of the examination hall, knowing I have flunked a paper (yet again). The whole semester's effort came to a waste, and the worst could have been that it has been my favourite module all these while. Is not a difficult paper to begin with, just that I only have myself to blame lah. Fuck. -_-" I should have start my revision earlier.

Click here.

To be frank, the only thing I learnt in university is to memorize. You can memorize, you can score. And if you can't, you will die just like me. I think that applies to all education levels in singapore's context yeah.

Cell biology and bioinformatics coming up next. I reckon the former won't be easy to dealt with. It's a test of memory again! The common test results weren't too bad for both, just that the verdict is not out until the exams. Eight more days to go!!! AgrhhhhH!

5th of May, seems so near yet so far...
But i can see some light ahead, =)
Genting with the cousin (pending)
Thailand with the sister (confirmed!).
HongKong with the butt and Gl the bro (pending).

And maybe that Canada's student exchange.
(that is if I manage to get de scholarship)
=)

The Walk

2008-04-18T21:50:00.008+08:00

Feeling: Came back from the dead
Current Read: Perfume and Cosmetics notes
Song: Journey by Corrinne May

I went through seven mountains this week.

My mind was once filled with emptiness and angst; and I fucked it. I stumbled into a dead hole of mirage and delusion; an unfamiliar place of no misery and sorrow. There's no reality in there. And before I gained back conscious, everything's too late. I knew I got to take the walk, the walk back to misery and pain. The walk back to reality. It was real hard. No one want reality. No one want the truth.

But still, I took the walk.

And today, I looked through the reflection from the mirror. I saw a pale man with very dark circles and had a great laugh. What a joke I created on myself.

Now, that's reality.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I tried that colourgenics test. Is kindda accurate, at least in my context. =)

You are constantly hoping that your good fellowship and attitude and your 'love for your fellow man (or women)' will give you peace of mind. You need people - people around you to care for you and to show you that they care. It is this hope that keeps you going, the hope that makes you the type of person that indeed you are. Your own need for approval seemingly makes you always ready to help others and in exchange you seek love, warmth and understanding. You will always listen to others and you are open to new ideas which hopefully will prove fruitful and interesting.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

You are feeling under considerable pressure and you are being forced to make concessions. You are not particularly happy with this state of affairs but you feel that you have no alternative. If you were to force issues you would be left out or completely ignored by one and all.

Whatever has caused the situation, you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam... One minute you experience 'highs' and a few moments later 'lows'. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude - the ideal state you desire is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.

You feel that you need to move on. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'. Failure to do so will not afford you the conditions to prove your worth.

21st Singapore International Film Festival - The Finalist

2008-04-12T20:04:00.008+08:00

Feeling: Chirpy :-)
Current Read: Teo Tian Seng's Cell Bio notes
Song: Life story

Watched The finalist at De Substation with Jerry and Nix today. Besides the bad hard seats that made my ass cracked, the film was actually nice. And that was a huge swarm of eye candies around for you to eye on (that's if you are gay). Haha. Anyway, the film was quite an eye opening.

Keluar Baris, Boo Junfeng's segment was first on the list. "Fall out" was actually the English translation for Keluar Baris. And the segment portrayed a 18 years old guy who returns home from his studies in Europe two days before he is enlisted into the army. This story is about his personal struggle between national duties and personal liberty. Perhaps I expected alot more from Boo, this film was rather disappointing. No emotions, no fanciful scenes. I guess “ultimate sianz-ness” is what the director was trying to convey.

Wet Seasons by Michael Tay coming up next was rather refreshing. Wet Seasons is a tribute to Michael’s father who passed away six years ago, and is told in a combination of live-action and stop-motion animation. Instead of going it through the hard way of lots of emotions, sorrow and dejection, this film linked the father and son together with the idea of how men are linked to their right hand (or left for some) - yeah, it's masturbation (if you are thinking real hard now). It symbolized how different were they in thoughts, and yet there is sure to be some similarities somewhere, somehow. The emphasis on "they never masturbate together" indicated how distant they were. If they could masturbate together before then old man died, things might be different. I guess here sounds abit exotic, coz no one in the hell would want to masturbate with their daddies (for me at least). Haha, but I guess the director was just trying to convey the message that if both the son and dad opened their heart to one another, perhaps things will be different. Isn’t this what all of us are going through with our folks? I like this segment. It keeps me smiling.

Para Asia (For Asia) by Fran Borgia caught some hot tears of mine. Is so simple and sad of how can one young man came to terms with the death of his beloved wife, as we followed him as he finds his ways to keep the memories alive. The whole film was in black and white as the man misses his wife, and colors only appeared when the man managed to make a film out of his wife using old photos. Like what the film said at the end, “do not live in the past, when the past is not ending yet.”

The rest includes:

Love Me, Love My Dogs by Lincoln Chia Zhicheng – The film is about this transsexual and her obsessions with dogs. It portrays how one can get possessed with something.

My Home, My Heaven by a talented student by a Ngee ann polytechnic student. Ahmad, a juvenile delinquent, is released from his time in a Boy’s Home. After his return home, Ahmad finds himself at crossroads again despite his efforts to redeem himself from the past.

Kallang Roar by Cheng Ding - The last hope for Singapore football is in the hands of the uncontrollable eccentric genius Singapore coach, Uncle Choo. The tumultuous relationship between Football Association Chairman, Mr Ganesan and Uncle Choo is further tested as they both fight passionately to restore the Kallang roar in 1977.

Silent Girls by Ric Aw. - Two 16-year-old girls get lost in the strange world of love, sex and the internet. Damn it, it really focus on how stupid some young girls are, and how bastard some guys are!!!

Support local film!

emotionless

2008-04-11T23:50:00.014+08:00

Feeling: Apathetic
Current Read: Teo Tian Seng's Cell Bio notes
Song: SUPERMAN

I just woke up (time read: 11.52pm)! Yeah, and I was on the bed since 4am in the morning. Can't really figure out the fuck of how and why can I sleep for so long. Haha. And the stomach is growling right now (Mum didn't cook dinner today - she's MJing!). -_-"

Yesterday's practical was freaking long. 12pm - 7pm, a total of 7 hours. Sneaked out of the lab for a seminar talk by SHISEIDO for my very himbotic module (perfume and cosmetics) while running PCR. Hahaha., and what the hell, cosmetics really makes wonder. 世界上没有丑女人，只有懒女人。

Celebrated mum's birthday at Novena last sunday. And dad bought us a new camera! Haha, Cannon Ixus 80. I wanted the gold or pink one, but bro insisted on the silver. =( But still, really like the functions of the camera.

Moi postcard for the Perfume and Cosmetics module.

Mum was traumatized to see the number of candles. Haha.

Mum making a wish.
Happy 58th Birthday mummy.
Thanks for being there when I need you.
Thanks for being my alarm clock every morning.
Thanks for the nags that keeps me growing.
Thanks for everything.

Getting bored with mugging. I love green.

BLUE! haha.

I got 5 webcast to go for cell biology! -_-'

ten hours in total

From the heart: I'm so terrified and fearful of everything and anything. I always plan well ahead, sometimes too ahead. When there is a problem to get to what I want, or where I want to be, I will try all ways to resolve the situations. I managed to resolve them most of the time, and continue with life as it ought to be. But now, the current situation is traumatizing. And I have tried all ways to work it out. I try to resolve the shit, I make new plans; I believe that doggedness and perseverance will get me to what I want in the future. But no, I was wrong. My perseverance didn’t keep me going. The situation is like a deep hole that I fall into, that is so unfathomable. And I saw myself crying in that bottomless pit.

Today's a slack day

2008-04-04T01:05:00.005+08:00

I’m definitely an ultimate slacker. I purposely skipped school today to study for the upcoming test next Wednesday. But in the end I woke up at 4pm, and did really nothing. I stoned at the window side with a hot cuppa after washing up, and daydreamed as the rain started to pour. It was quite relaxing actually. Doing nothing is good at times, but not at this extreme period when works are piling up, projects are on due and exams are coming. Anyway, I decided to read through the experimental CA protocol after I finished with the cuppa. But in the end I began to surf the net when I tried to switch on the notebook for some music. I was so into net surfing that it seems like just five minutes before dad called me to eat dinner at 8pm. That’s when my favorite drama came into play at 9pm (luckily tomo the last episode). Brother’s girlfriend, who was a former NUS undergraduate, came back with him not long after. And I went on chatting with her about school for quite awhile while brother was settling some work. I went back to the com at 11pm where I started to check for email. Opening the MSN was a wrong choice, but the worst could have been searching the net for nice beaches. I am so damn engrossed with the beautiful beaches that I nearly forget the exam I have to go through before the 3 months break. Anyway the beaches are so god damn nice.

Look at that clear beach at Pulau Dayang!!!

Pulau Perhentian not too bad either!

I WANT TO GO DIVING AT PULAU DAYANG!!! But then again, how could I go when my favorite diving partners are at Canada and Australia respectively. Boo. *cry* Come back guys! Waiting for butt to get her diving license this June, and then I can plan many dive outings. Haha. May, June and July are meant for partying (since it’s the holiday) and are the best time to head to the beach! YeahhhhhhH!!!! Not forgetting the birthdays of many close friends during the three months break. Haha. Im so damn looking forward...

But fuck that exam before that. =(

I met my uncle

2008-04-03T17:23:00.005+08:00

Feeling: Shocked
Film: 恶作剧2吻第16集
Song: 你一直都在

Alvin Tay decided not be my friend anymore!

We are no longer friends. No longer.

Nope, we didn't quarrelled.

He just decided not to befriend me;

But be my uncle instead!!!

Haha, that sounds wrong.

But yeah, he's officially my UNCLE.

Confused? Haha. Im as confused too.

Okie, here's the story. Alvin is one of my best cliques in the university. We knew one another cause our surenames are both tay, and we were allocated to the same lab bench with another bunch of cute crazy people 2 years ago. From then onwards, we basically do everything together in school - from eating to taking same modules to having talkcocksingsong sessions. Yup, we became close friends. Once, he even commented about how sad he is that his Ah Gong decided to settle down in Lim Chu Kang instead of the east, if not he will be richer. "Damn!", I told him, and told him my grandparents settled in Lim Chu Kang too. Nothing crossed my mind at that moment of time.

Then on monday this week, Al told me in school that his uncle (father's brother) passed away on Sunday due to a heart attack while driving the lorry at Bukit Batok. His uncle's funeral was at Bukit Panjang. I commented that life is so vulnerable, and told him to take care. Then on AprilFooL the day before yesterday, I overheard my mum reminding the dad to go for a funeral at Bukit Panjang on the phone. Being curious, I asked who, and my mum told me it was a long distance relative who passed away due to a heart attack. I thought it couldn't be so lucky that they are referring to the same funeral. So I called up Alvin (who was about to eat his Mac) and asked the name of his dead uncle. And mum verified that the dead relative was really Alvin's uncle!!! Alvin's dead uncle is my granduncle! And hence, Alvin Tay is my uncle literally! *faint* Then I asked Alvin to list all his uncles' and aunties' names, and I was shocked that Mum knows each and everyone of them. They all lived beside one another many many years ago, in the same Kampung. And we are really relatives! haha.

Seriously, I took more then a hour to figure out the family tree. And now, from my understanding is that Alvin's grandfather and my great grandfather are real blood related brothers. So Alvin's father and my grandfather are close related cousins. And thus, Alvin and my dad are long distance cousins. And this make Alvin my long distance uncle!!! *faint* Haha.

We were joking that luckily we are not gay couple, if not we can film Brokeback Mountain 2 already! Haha, or if he was a girl and we fall in love, then this will be crazy! Incest can! Haha.

And this is not a aprilfool joke. haha.

Little Update

2008-03-30T19:25:00.007+08:00

Feeling: Relax
Film: 恶作剧2吻第15集
Song: 想听的话

I'm in love with this song after xiaotong played it once to me. Is so "sad". Haha. And I did nothing the whole of weekend; I need this break. Been to tight up with the school work, thus decided to have a little weekend break before going for the last round of battle - L'examen. Projects going on smoothly, and I absolutely love the Le papillon project from my bimbotic module - Cosmetics and Perfumes. I think we are DAMN GOOD. Haha.

Folks went to Genting for the weekend, while brother went to work. So I had myself the house for these two days. Decided to give the folks a surpise when they come back, so I was there watering the plants, feeding the fishes, sweeping the floor, washing the coffee-stained cups and plates de brother left every morning (damn!). And I really think that doing household is much more tougher then studying for the exams. Haha. Everything seems upside down when dad and mum not around - one goldfish is dying due to an bacterial infection, I almost locked myself outside the house while trying to water the plants, I used two hours to sweep the floor which mum is doing daily. And worst of all, I used 1 hour to figure out how to use the washing machine and decided to find the manual out for help. Damn it. And I officially declared myself the spolitbrat what dad used to call me. Boo. Nevertheless, though there are little hiccups here and there, the house is really clean now. Waiting for the folks to come back for the surprise. I'm anticipating some praises. Kekekeke. =P

And I dread the monday blue.

Friends

2008-03-09T04:07:00.014+08:00

Feeling: Rejuvenated with the accompany of friends.
Read: PR2202 take home quiz
Song: 细水长流

Some friends are for life. No matter how far or how busy they are, they will be there whenever u need a listening ear, giving sensible encouragements and advices. Sometimes without a word, best friends understand what you are thinking at that moment of time. Occasionally, they choose to keep quiet beside you when you are feeling down, because they know you don't want to talk about the problems, but still want their presence(s). Their presence(s), and that's enough.

Friday. Had an outing with the brother gang. Us, four - a 11 year old friendship (13 year old in GL's case) that is still growing and glowing. We have not meet for months, and this meet was a rather simple but great one. Had dinner at Alexendra Village, and then we walked. Yes, walking is our hobby. Through walking, we shared secrets and problems, laughters and joy, sweat and tears. Destination was Holland Village's Swensens, and that's considered our shortest journey. Haha. We once walked from Orchard till the west. A nice catch up, updates of lives, a note of brotherhood. =)

4 person, 8 dishes!!! Even the hawker said we were superb! haha.

Saturday, met up Hua and Irene for Kris's birthday at CHIMJES. Us four + Kris's girlfriend. Too bad ~~uncle~~ brother kG went back malaysia, while HK and Poh are still in Australia and Canada respectively, if not i guess it will be more jolly. Nonetheless, a short but yet a cosy gathering. Reminiscenced of the old days; projects that took us countless nights, three hours long breaks stonning in the com lab, getting buzzy with the GL stuffs - that's my growing up years. I don't really want to depart today, cause we won't know when will we meet up again. Hua and Irene will be back with their working lives, Kris will be back to NTU settling his schoolwork, and me, back to NUS with the usual problems unsolved.

At CHIMJES.

That birthday boy.

His present - that thing inside that packet costs a bomb can! Haha.

MISK - meihua, irene, shawn, kris. Love them all!

Rene and i. I and Rene.

What's wrong with hua?!!?

And about school, school's life is still as bitchy as ever, and I seriously hate the school system. Really got to thank GL and Hua for listening to my rants these days, and going through it with me. Throughout my entire education life, this 'falling down" could have been the worst. And I only have myself to blame for not putting enough effort in year one. 1 year 2 months more to go, and I will know where shall I be...

Back to that pR2202 quiz. =(

Against the action of mankind

2008-03-07T05:47:00.003+08:00

If u think hamburger is good food, now see this.

http://www.meat.org/

The cruelity of mankind at its worst.
The ugliness of the farm industry.

Ever since human starts to rule the world, we've been killing; to kill pigs, chickens, cattles for a source of food, that's the way to survive i guess. But if we were to torture them before killing, I would strongly voice an objection. If this is human nature, then fellow humans, we will have retribution. The sounds of the crying pigs still tingle my heart. Fucking gross.

Why? Human, why?

I am a 美少女 fan

2008-03-02T03:59:00.010+08:00

I chanced upon this song, 闪着泪光的决定 released by Wu peici in 1998!!!! OMG, it really reminds me of those days I was so mad in love with her , yuki hsu and fan xiao xuan, Haha. But somehow she looks like a trans to me now. Hahah, I don't why either. I guess the girls were prob in love with boyzone, westlife, A1 etc back then.

I manage to find them on youtube. EnjoY! =)

(I shall go and dig out their old albums somewhere in the house).

吴佩慈 - 闪着泪光的决定

范曉萱 - 雪人

徐懷鈺 - Ding Dong

I am a closet 美少女 fan!

Only the strongest survives

2008-02-27T03:29:00.008+08:00

Mood: Sad, very sad - I sick of this long sad journey of my life
Read: Cell Biology notes on cytoskeleton by Prof Teo

"Only the strongest survives."

True, a very constructive saying indeed. For everything in the world, there's a competition. Be it the results one took starting from PSLE to the Os, to the As (polytechnic in my case), and to the uni eventually; or to the snatching of food by the poor kids living in Africa and North Korea; or to the two men going after a lady.

All these are competitions, hence there's always a winner; and there's always a loser. The winner goes to the best university in town, while the loser repairs the water pipes as a technician. The winner gets the food while the loser starves to death. The winner gets the maiden, and the loser is left with a broken heart. Life is fair isn't it? You want something, you vie for it. If you get it, you are a champ, and you get the applause. If you don’t get it, you are a loser, and you get the jeers and mocks.

Is okay, losers can always start all over again. They can put in 100% more effort, 200% more sweat, 300% more energy. The technician can take up a part time degree. The starving boy can snatch back the food. The man can go after a new girl when his broken heart is mended. They will become winners one day.

But then again, what happen if the technician has no money to go for the course because he has a mouth of ten to feed? What happen if the starving boy is already left with his last breath? What happen if the man has a broken heart that can’t be heal? They will be losers always. There are no more competitions, and they can’t be winners.

I sent in an application for a competition.
Their job is to select.
They rejected my application.
I have no competition to compete.
And they already declared me as a born-loser.

I was that technician;
that starving boy; and that broken heart man.

And I can't be the winner eventually.

"Foreign Talent" snatched table!

2008-02-21T14:31:00.002+08:00

To first begin with, I'm never one of those who really anti-PRC, unlike some of my friends (who apparently had some bad encounters with them before). I just thought that they came all the way over to Singapore to study or for work, thus may appear more "kiasu" then we Singaporeans. Is a way of surviving I guess? Afterall, living in another country is not an easy thing? I reckon.

Then there was this Saturday when Thomas, py and I were studying in school for the upcoming test. We went over to the arts FAc for dinner, and there was only one stall there that was still opened. It sells Sichuan food, and that explained the number of PRCs over there. In short, we were surrounded by PRCs in a couple of minutes. After buying the food, I went over to get a table, while T and py were waiting for the steamboat set. I saw this table at the side of the canteen that might seems like a good place to sit down for dinner, and have a good rest. Thus, I walked over...

When I was just five steps away from the table, a cheena bitch ran passed me like there is 80% COACH bag sales in front of ME. I was freaking stunned by her action, and before I manage to gain back conscious… uh yes, that fucking wretch took my table!!! -_-” By the way, most of the tables at that time were empty in fact. It was a sat evening!

I can’t really be bothered by her, but her actions really disgrace the country she is representing. Doesn’t she know that this little action of hers is good enough to show the ugliest side of humankind? Doesn’t she know that because of people like her and her comrades, a lot of people are condemning that country C even it is a good place with nice scenery, delicious culinary, strong culture. I now understand why so many friends of mine dead set against them.

And I officially join that anti-PRCs gang.

Mummy dearest

2008-02-16T01:31:00.003+08:00

Yesterday in the living room, while lying on my mum's shoulders waiting to "invite" the god at 12mn, we had a conversation.

Mum: "This year not bad huh, your sister pregnant. All my wishes are coming true one by one."
Me: "Issit! So what's next? Pushing bro to get marry!"
Mum: "Yes, that's the next priority."
Me: "Like that you no more worries liao."
Mum: " No lo, still got u this small one."
Me: "What's with me?" (me giving that fuck face)
Mum: "Hmmmm, ur graduation, ur marriage, aiyoh so many."
Me: "Please lah, I don't need you to worry leh. I am a damn good boy lo."
Mum (tapping my head): "yeah, i know. so my third priority is to strike 4D."
Me (stunned): "Hahaha, give me some money if you really strike it BIG!"
Mum: "Yeah, I will give u $3000 to go slimming salon if i strike $10,000. I promise"
Me: "THANKS HUH!!!" (then she left to pray)

My mum is damn cute at times. =)

有感而发

2008-02-15T02:43:00.008+08:00

mood: 快乐
song：许茹芸 - 看完烟火再回去

我可以承认失败，

但我不愿意放弃。

失败了可以再来，

放弃了却永远都得不到了。

生命常常会有许多的失败，

但有恒心，有毅力，

总会有成功的一天！

烦恼的学业，

空白的爱情，

还能更好的家庭，

我来了！

为我美好的将来努力吧！

PS: 老姐怀孕了！哈哈，10月份的小老鼠要诞生了！因该是天秤座的没错！我这个未来舅舅可是乐极了，整个家也是超开心的。好一份快乐的新年大礼物呀！

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-02-10T03:51:00.001+08:00

HUAT AHHHHHH!!!

Little fatty here gives u orange!

Haha. My little cousin, justin.
I show u how kids grow.

Hahhaa. time flies fast lah. Damn it. I'm aging, sobz.

Besides the "gambling damage" which I decided to make a comeback next year, the new year is basically a good festive season to enjoy before the nightmare (tests and exams) begins. Yes, my semester officially starts. Heh heh.

CHU YI

Chu yi was at my paternal Grandma's house. It was rather causal since I meet up with them on a monthly basic.

A family (not full) photo for someone who can't join us this year.
And the next 3 years to be exact.

Went to visit my maternal diagnosed-with-cancer cousin next where I bumped into ting, whose grandma's house was just a level below my uncle's house. Our folks know each other since their teen years, and her aunt is my mum's mj kahki. So apparently, when something happens to ting, I would knew it from my mum before she tells me herself (see that undesirable connection in a way).

Ting ting ting. pretty ting.

Haha. As usual, a yearly cuzzie steamboat dinner at Sister Ling's house before the battle began! Sister, brother and I were so ~~unlucky~~ heng that we got the same dian for blackjack. And btw, they both won that round except moi(!) who got a ah-pek next.

The battle ended 5am the next morning, and I lost 130 bucks! *cry*

CHU ER

Woke up at 9am, out at 10am, with ultra super dark circles. And I was very ~~sexually~~ sleep deprived. Went house-hopping from house to house of my mum's side relatives who I saw maybe once a year (unless I bumped into them on the street). So these relatives are the best to judge how much u grew over the year. And the conclusion is: I GREW ALOT (horizontally though). *cry-out-loud* On a lighter note, there were many many new members in the family, and the kids were damn adorable.

I'm in love with this two kids who are so-so-so cute. The elder bro was a handsome boy, whereas the younger boy was kawaiii neh.

haha, so cute.

Before learning how to walk, learn how to cam whore. Haha.

Dovely eyes.

Haha, yesh, this is a boY!

Mum, who wanna a grandson too.

Love him to bits.

Kiss, kiss, kiss.

The handsome brother who just woke up.

Haha, he got well after awhile.

Haha, I'm the only one (besides his dad) who he allowed to carry that day wor.

Then in the evening, it was at my sister's place for the yearly lao-yusheng with the cuzzies. Abalone instead of sashimi this year wor. Haha. The night was actually created for the losers to recoup their loss the day before, and for the winners to win more.

The battle ended at 7am the next day, and it was a 150 bucks in total lost this year.. I WILL MAKE IT A COMEBACK NEXT YEAR!!! haha

CHU SAN

Finally, I had my sleep before meeting up with the uni peeps for a gathering. *Sorry guys that I couldn't stay long enough for the steamboat dinner wor.* Went to sent Alex off at the airport. That msn-minesweeper buddy is going to Brisbane to further his studies too . Brother picked me up from the airport before we went to the temple at Loyang to pray. The night ended up at his girlfriend's house, where we caught a damn old movie by stephen chow. And here I am blogging. hahaa.

Over here, I wish all my family members and friends to have a good year ahead.

AND I WISH:

The still schooling one will have many many As this year. The working ones will have a smooth career. Couples' loves will still be everlasting. Unmarried couples will get married this year. Married ones will have kids this year. Married-very-long-already-and-have-kids-one will have grandchildren. Singles out that will meet their right one. Economy crisis will be over before it come. NUS grading system will get demolished, and students will learn thru projects and trainings.

Dad will strike 4D. Mum will win many many money at MJ. Sister and brother-in-law will have babies. Brother will get married. I will ~~try to~~ lost weight. Ah ma ah gong will still be in the pink of their health. Jun will find the right girl. Guo will get good grades. Hao will find a good job. Butt will reach her desirable weight. Bro Guan will fly. Uni clique - alvin n christine, zhenyun n kendrick, thomas n peiyan, tong zai will get ALL As for the exams. Ting will ~~burnt down~~ like her workplace. Irene will have a good career. Kris and gf will last. HongKiat and Poh will have good lives in australia and Canada respectively. Zen will get into NUS. Hahaha. That's all.

Tata.

Ps: Will only blog ocassionally on this blog. Just opened a private one. Some things are better left unsaid. =)

Love u guys.

Talking about careers

2008-02-02T03:36:00.000+08:00

Is good to meet up with old friends you haven't met for ages. And yeah, today was great. The topic went along the line of careers, which is good cause it's indicating we are growing up. But I'm troubled.

Yes, after one big round, I don't know what I want in future. Research is a definitely no-no. Sales? Haha. I'm infamous of giving people the fuck face (thou im considering it la). Technical field is just like any 9-5 job that I surely will hate. Education? Nah, is a job for the siant. The principal will fire me once my vulgarities reach her ears. So how? Die.

If only I own a piece of land, I would grow and rear my own aquarium fishes in an aquaculture farm that incoporates well with the latest biotechnology techniques, and includes it with a rural style spa wellness concept, and healthy lifestyle cafe. Then it would be the perfect idea of my good career.

WAIT LONG LONG LAH! Haha, though I will try my best to reach there.

Shawn believes in fairytale.

Growing Up Years

2008-01-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

After getting nags from the mum ever since don't-how-many-centuries ago, I finally packed my room. Took out many old stuffs; photos and birthday cards, toys and old letters... Fond memories I would say. And I found this:

A fugly grey bear.

Aahahaa. It was my first present from the dad when I was born twenty something years ago. I remembered carrying it everywhere I went when I was still a kid. Aye, from the toilet to the dining table, from the playroom to the bed. Mum told me that she once hide it away from me the day before I went primary school, and I cried like a xiao-da-bo. So she had no choice but to return it to me.

Growing up is a scary event. Remembering those days in school when I was considered the youngest in the class since I was born right in the end of the year. Now, many people in university call me "uncle" or "big brother". And nope, I wasn't unhappy about being the oldest, just that I dislike the idea of growing up. Tertiary education means that I would be part of the labour force in a few years time.

Gone are also the days when I did things without thinking, I used to tell myself, "I'm still young, I'm allow to make mistake. No one would reprimand me. Elders would just tell me to learnt from mistakes." But now, I am usually caught in dilemmas for the stuffs I planned to do. I can't afford to make mistakes anymore, and have to think about the consequences for every action I take and make. I'm not only responsible to myself, but also to my family and loved ones.

Gone are also the days I set up big dreams for the future. These days, I choose to study hard and get a good cert, hope to grab a secure job in a few years time, and save up enough money to buy a house and car, and lastly, be part of the big family that complain about taxes and fines. And before you look down on me for not dreaming big, I still have my big plans. Just that, I decided to have a back-up one. Sometimes, when reality and dreams contradicts, the former usually take over. Oh yes, growing up taught me that I should have a back-up plan for everything. I can't go all out for just a single aim, and have everything just my way.

Afterall, I guess being a child is better then being a grown up.

I'm a grown up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song just describes how I feel...

Perfect, by simple plan.

Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think I’m wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
I can’t pretend that I’m alright
And you can’t change me

++Chorus++
‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect

I try not to think about the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’s alright

++Chorus++

Nothing’s gonna change the things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard just to talk to you
But you don’t understand

++Chorus 3x++
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First week

2008-01-19T14:17:00.000+08:00

School started this week, and I ponned lecture on the first friday liao. Not a good student aye? Haven't met up with guoliang for a very long time, and we finally did yesterday. Haha. Shopping for CNY was the motive of the day, but we got nothing at the end. Damn. Finished the whole of orchard, drove to Ann Siang Road's Fred Perry boutique, and then all the way to vivo city. Nothing. Is either size not right, no colours, or too ex. Haha. Guess everyone are shopping apparently. Bumped into weiting and kok guan though, heh heh. We chilled at Cafe del Mar at Sentosa till 2.30am before calling it a day, and the waitress there were hot!!! Too bad jun and hao didn't joined us.

Waiting for Gl in the car.

Cafe del Mar.

And finally, butt uploaded her photos. Hope u enjoy ur Jay's concert girl! Love ya. Sometimes back, met up with kok guan and the girls for a dinner in a jap-styled western food restuarant. And the dinner was damn damn damn good. Shiok ah!

The Banner.

Some window displays of the restaurant.

This was beside me when we ate our dinner. The decorations were nice.

Favourite guy.

The girls.

This chilled soba salad was fabulous.

The Garlic Escargots were orgasmic!

Boiling curry udon in hot stone.

The really fishy fillet. not my liking. heh heh.

My favourite dish of the day!!! Hamburger in jap style.

We used this key to pay.

School is getting into the second week, and I'm still don't have the mood yet. Heh heh. Never mind la, I shall give myself till after chinese new year yeah. I'm still in holiday mood la. la la la la. Haha.

Till then. Slack.

Laughters

2008-01-17T00:50:00.000+08:00

I had a great laugh just now with some real good people. And then I walked home. On the roadside I roamed, with a tired body, and a confused mind. Before I sorted things right, and straightened up my thoughts, I reached home. How long more to go before I could bid goodbye to this? I laughed at the god for giving me such an unpleasant predicament.

And who say laughing is for happy people?

Laugh.

First day of school

2008-01-14T02:18:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Annoyed
Song: I Would Wait For Life by Take That

*clap clap clap*

I used one hour plus to print the notes for THE FIRST DAY OF (BACK TO) HELL. Wasted 82 pieces of papers when printing them coz i choose to print one slide per page.!!! Genius i am yeah! Damn freaking holy smart. And that bloody hell printer hung on me many many times just now. *roar*

Anyhow, here's the msn conversation with the buddy. Haha. He wishes me straight A's this sem leh. Thanks dude.

If only the admin is careless. Damn.

Mug hard la best friend!!! Good luck for ur prelims.

BLUE BLUe BLue Blue blue

2008-01-12T02:37:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Blue-ish
Song: Rule the World by Take That
Location: Home, just back from town

Modules taking this sem are:

1. Cosmetics and Perfumes
2. Experimental Molecular Biology
3. Cell Biology
4. Essential Bioinformatics and Biocomputing

Damn it, none to my liking except prolly the first one. School starting in two days time and I'm so blue now. No more suppers, late night rides, lunch gatherings with soulmates, shopping, mj, etc. In short, no more fun! Sigh, Shawn will have a monotonous life filled with brain-cracking chemical structures from bioinformatics, Nobert's ultra-chim molecular bio questions. And the worst could have been memorizing those cell biology theories, cosmetics and perfumes stuffs into my pea-sized brain...

Sending poh in a few hours time... Always having this mixed feelings when I sent someone off. I dunno. Just weird, like I would rather be the one "being sent"... but, somehow im still here, at this stationery point, as always. sigh. Boo x3. Wonder whether my dreams will come true one day...

GL, the shopping kahki will not be going with me to hongkong this june coz NTU no longer nominate students to CUHK. He has to pay extra $750USD for a module besides the admin and accomodation fees if he wanna go there this summer. Shrugs. Hopefully NUS still nominate us (alvin and i), if not my shopping plan really gone fuck. Sian-ness.

Agrhhh, this sem I must work damn damn damn hard to push the cap up up up. So that I can enjoy myself during the three month break in 16 weeks time!!! Woot!!! Like very fast hor, crap. -_-" To the people I love but can't meet up as frequent during term time, take real care yeah. And to the fellow chao muggers, lets work even harder this sem, we can make it!!! Occassionally, a mj session here and there is a necessitate LAH. Haha.

Sem2.2, here I come!!!

At Dad's birthday dinner

2008-01-07T14:24:00.000+08:00

Family?

Know me?

I doubt.

Sis: "You set your standards too high, and that's why you are in such lonely and pathetic state today.

Fuck! As if they know me. As if they know how i feel. As if they know my dreams and who I'm in love with. If falling in love was as easy as ABC, there wouldn't be the heartbroken ones around. I'm not a playboy to begin with, and don't have the qualities to become one either.

Bro: "Haha. He loves himself more then he loves others (girls). A self centered freak mah."

Yeah, right. *clap clap* I love myself. I date myself. I kiss myself. I make love to myself. hooray. I'm attached to myself. Chao gay.

Am hurt. Damn fucking hurt.

Self centered? worst comment ever.

SWEAT IT OUT!!!

2008-01-02T08:50:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Happy
Song: Happy Ending by Mika
Weather: Windy, cold

First drink of the year: Pocari Sweat!!!

And my tees was wet! The night cycling on new year was a blast, and I love the night with the favourite people. Ah Guan's my buddy, and I got a techno-chio bike filled with lightsticks. Call me a techno freak for the night (thou I hate techno songs ultimately). Disobeying the traffic rules was for the grown up kids, and I'm pretty sure I will curse shits and fcuked if I'm one of the drivers in the cars. Haha. Diagonal dashing across the roads was our fav game. Police officer (Darren) bo jin hu ah! But yet, who gave us a damn. We rawks upside down! *evil grins* And it ended with a real-pain-in-the-ass when the first dawn of 2008 came.

Damn it, I will be 24 this year.

And nope, she didn't messaged me. But the aftermath after a whole night of cycling and fireworks, ass-cracking and disobeying traffic rules was a happy me, and so no more brooding over it, anymore.

Hong Kiat left to aust, and Poh leaving soon. School oficially starts on the 14th, meaning I still have a week plus more for parties, shoppings, gatherings. 3 more sems, and I will be done with this poly-discriminate-from-jc school and won't get pissed off by its biased CORS system anymore. Yeah!

I love the people I know in school thou. =)

Happy 2008!

A new year

2007-12-31T04:29:00.000+08:00

Walked all the way from Orchard to Holland Village with the burgies after a movie at cineleisure, and my fucking legs are aching now. Haha, yes we did it again, it was a good talk-cock-sing-song session with them though.

Wrapping up a year is no doubt a daunting task, certainly not for the indecisive. Last year this time was great, I was anticipating the countdown at Taipei 101; it was a great experience that ended up with a tiring and fruitful year ahead. Year 2007 isn't a bad one. Bascially, the year has given me alot of stuffs to think, alot of problems to solve, and alot of decisions to make, Studies is getting on track and I start to love school more, I meet more friends and manage to keep contacts with the old, and I have a clear plan for the future. Ironically, it was a bad one in terms of certain aspects of life in the later part of the year, and it somehow spoilt the year as it ends. Anyway, shall be cycling overnight with some dear mates tonight, and hopefully we will make it to the planned route (which is obviously a challenge for us all). 2008, we are coming!!!

Birthday ended with a bang this year since i did surprisingly okay for the exam. =) Really thanks those that remembered this day.

Thanks the uni peeps for the Zara cardigan, I'm loving it.

Thanks Irene for the wallet, as I'm right looking for one now. =)

Thanks Poh for the surf shorts from Canada, my best Xmas Xchange ever.

Thanks HongKiat for the Coffee wine, and remembering I love coffee.

Thanks Meihua, Tingz, Kris and the poly peeps for the Topman cardigan, green tee shirt, coffee grinder, NUM slippers; they are all so lovely.

Thanks Max for the cake, it was really chocolate-ly.

Thanks kok guan the brother for being with me the whole day, instead of going back to his hometown to celebrate the new year with his family.
Thanks all those who remembered the day and messaged me. It was sweet, really appreciated.

Was actually hoping, dreaming, wishing, anticipating someone's message for the Xmas and birthday... but nope, I have none of it. And I doubt I will get one on the new year. Rather dissappointed and hurted. Is really time to let go... Shrugs, it seems like I have been cast a no love spell. Hahaha. Kidding. And by the way "good luck chunk" was quite a show to watch, thou is R21.

And I had my virgin wakeboarding on the birthday, and it ended up quite chui. Haha. I was really lousy la... Boo hoo hoo. Sad. -_-' But I won't give up!!! Shall try it out again soon, but probably not at East Coast Park again where hundred heads are looking at you as u fall deep into the pond, and u have to swim back like a dog to the starting point just to start all over again. Haha.

Randomly, I feel like having a dive. If only I have $$$$$$, and my two diving kahkis are not going back to Canada and Australia respectively... ... ...

I hope 2008 will be a better year for all my friends. =) happy new year guys, see you in 2008!

End of the year

2007-12-26T17:43:00.000+08:00

Song: You belong to Me by Michael Buble

Feeling: Lightened up

Weather: No more rain

Michael Buble kept my afternoon in this relax mode... The year is finally ending, and I swear I couldn't survive if there's more such years. Merry Xmas to people I love, people who loves me. Thanks for being there for me always. And I've decided. I'm not having any new year resolutions this coming year. It failed over the years, so I'm just going to do my best for everything for the upcoming one. Yeah, that's it...

I thought I could be found dead for sleeping after lying on the bed for like 32 hours since 7am on Christmas, only waking up several times to pee, and once by the best friend to confirm the buffet dinner on the 30th. Cheerios for the 10 years plus friendship guys! From boys we became men, but the brotherhood remains.

.
.

And I decided to forget u. Perhaps that's the best present I can give to u. Many years down the road, I would remember this day.

You, me, and the others.

Bye bye, sweetheart.

A Relax Sunday

2007-12-16T14:49:00.001+08:00

Is now like a daily routine to wake up late in the afternoon, get nag by the mother, then out I go with the friends for gatherings to strengthen the bond or watever, haha. Been out everyday ever since the semester ended and the old man isn't too happy about me. So today I decided to stay at home and be a "good boy" for once, and "pacify" the dad since he treats me as if I was still a old school kid. Haha, I heart the folks.

Grandaunt passed away this week, less then three months as predicted. But I think is a good thing to relive her away from the pain, agony, sufferings and illness. She... she will always live in the hearts of many as the cheerful, bubbly, lovable old woman everyone loves.

I'm working my ass off right now to catch the sun, haha!!! Every morning the butt called me up telling me the sun was there, so that I can go for my swim. But I always went back to sleep again, and the rain took over when I woke up. Damn! i make sure i will catch it this week, haha. I need some therapeutic swim and a great tan.

Pictures from the Crazy Xmas concert last sunday:

I heart them.

The guys.

The neighbour and I.

The girls.

And thanks bro, for the gifts from taiwan! =)

月老

2007-12-15T00:25:00.000+08:00

昨天与大学死党吃完点心逛完街后，独自一个人到了 kinokuniya 看书去。看了一本图文小品，买了婷的生日礼物后，“不小心”随手拿了九把刀的两本书。结果本想买 Richard Leakey 的 The Origin of Humankind 没买，却花了差不多50元，超心痛的！但并没有后悔啦，因为喜欢九把刀这位作家。可能因为他是男作家的关系，总能让我“感同深受”吧。对九把刀的认识是在台湾，在偶然的情况下，阅读了他的《那些年我们一起追的女孩》。

这次买了他的《月老》跟《红线》（限量精裝珍藏版／2書 1CD)。读完了《月老》后，喜欢男主角的执着和伟大。男主角在一场意外中死去，化做成月老保佑着他的爱人。虽然割舍不下这份情，却忍痛割爱帮爱人牵红线。喜欢九把刀巧妙的利用文字，描述这份凄美的爱情。他没把故事写得死去活来，反而写法有点随性，间单。就因为间单，所以容易深得人心。

有些爱情，在死后依就永恒。
有些爱情，在死后才开始。
去吧。我最爱的，别人的新娘子。

我为那男主角的那股充满勇氣的力量感到骄傲，
能夠一心一意喜歡一個人，多麼幸福。

LOST

2007-12-11T01:16:00.000+08:00

I need to find someone to talk to, but I don't know who could I find; who could give me the right advice; who really cares; and who's appropriate. Weihao is not in Singapore, butt and gl aren't very good choices for the topic, and "someone" just ignored me entirely. Sigh, never mind, I would figure out myself soon... In short, everything just got upside down...

Maybe tomorrow would be a better day...

Random

2007-12-02T00:08:00.000+08:00

Feeling: Down
Current Read: Ding's Lecture 6
Song: Be ur man by Jeff Chang

Today is a random.

Just today,
Just today I felt strange.
I felt lonely, and a tinge of unhappiness.
I dunno. I felt weird. I'm not me.
The wind blew onto my face as I walked home.
And I felt the watery cheeks.

Perhaps tomorrow,
Perhaps tomorrow will be a bright new sunny day.
I will look forward to a new beginning, and a new ray of hope.
I dunno. I will feel good. I'll be me
The sun will shine on me.
And I will have a new life.

But still,
Till then,
Let me finish crying tonight.
Absolutely chui-ness.

Anw I heart the fellow muggers in library.
Thou I feel like a 1800watts lightbulb! *laughs*
MUG MUG MUG! IS OUR LAST LAP! =)

If only ... ... ...

S-T-U-P-I-D

2007-11-24T17:19:00.000+08:00

Today's the first paper, and is a damn-fucking-alot-of-expectation paper. Is my favourite module for the sem, but it became a totally cui-ness. I can't do a complusory essay worth 20 marks, and have no time for another 20 marks essay. And I had already wrote like 14 pages worth of chunks... Someone get a knife and kill me please~.

Yesterday was talking to thomas and py over dinner at school. And py was saying that getting into local uni meant u are 10% among the rest, a govt statisitic I guess. Yeah, ironically, I think I shouldn't be here. Is either I was a lucky freak when I apply cause I was at the 9.999999...%, or they put my application into the wrong box. I should be in the "rejection list" you see.

People who know me would know how much efforts I put in this semester. And I never know studies could be such a pain-in-the-ass (yes. I slacked thru my entire pri-sec-poly life). When I put in 100%, people put in 200%. When I put in 200%, people put in 300%. When I put in 300%, people still get the As coz they are genius, and I'm a dumbwit.

And so, my conclusion now is, is either:

1. I'm stupid.

2. I'm damn fucking stupid.

3. My brain is make up of stupid cells, stupid neurons, stupid brain juices.

IF NOT WHAT U TELL ME. I have become millions, trillions times more hardworking this sem, even Jun commented "is my sem" coz i did surprisingly ok for my CAs. But yet I fuck it up again during the exam. Am really truly dissappointed with myself.

1.5 years to go, can I make it?

Thailand Advertisements help in de-stressing

2007-11-24T01:01:00.000+08:00

I never know that Thailand has accept the gays to such an extent.
Gay advertisement with condoms!!! Haha.
But the bolster thingy amused me somehow. Haha.

And this next one is awwwww sweet.

Haha, and a very hilarious one. Haha.

Damn, I hope I can write the 5 essays later at 1pm.
Boo. Haha.

Hear me RANT!

2007-11-23T00:40:00.000+08:00

Nothing can get into my head anymore!!!
Shall continue tomo morning...
The first paper on sat comprises 5 essays,
Haha, what a way to kickstart.

I hope in just a *blink-blink*
5th Dec 2007, 7pm will come!
And I will go for a good meal with the uni peeps,
And play MJ overnight.
The next day shall see me at Sentosa with butt for a 1-1 outing.
(We have not been having 1-1 outings for ages.)
Hurhur. Yes, I planned ahead!!! - not for the exams though!
Wait long long lah shawn!!

Watched clips on youtube randomly.
And this caught my attention.
Is so sad, but yet so touching.
Nice.

Nothing is the world is greater then the love from the family.

Thanks mum for the afternoon snacks these mugging days. =)

The Finale

2007-11-15T21:28:00.000+08:00

School officially ends yesterday. I was so tired that I fall asleep right after school, and skipped the night cardio class due to a bad headache.

Decided to have a dip in the pool after the last biochem test on tues, but the sun failed me. Nonetheless, I had a nice therapeutic swim. My back hurts like ass-being-fcuk after siting too long at the desk these days. Hahaha. (Just an analogy la. Maybe "that" doesn't hurts as much. Haha. How would I know?! LoL.) And I decided not to go for my yearly medical appointment on friday as I think is a waste of time to queue for like two hours, to see the doctor for five mintues. Probably he would have repeat what he said last year, "Swim more, swimming is good for your back."

Sent the cousin to the hospital on the same fateful tuesday night. His cancer is spreading faster then thought, even though he just had an operation two three weeks ago. Life is so vulnerable and unpredictable. We should live each day to the fullest without regrets, cause no one will know what will happen in the next second...

Thanks HK for the blessing all the way from Australia. =) Hope u can get the honours project of ur choice too! =)

And to my fellow muggers:

JIAYOU!

STUDY HARD HARD now, and we PLAY HARD HARD after examS! =)

Exam Stress

2007-11-10T20:38:00.000+08:00

I knew I'm having exam stress when I have:

1. Red swollen eyes.
2. Pimples oozing.
3. Insomia, with ketogenesis and glucaneogenesis haunting me.
4. Bad sleeping habit. Woke up at nights, slept in the days.
5. A change in appetite. EATING more then usual!!! Damn! This is the worst of all.

Have a nice chat with Zen on friday, and was happy to hear from him again after 800 years! haha. Army days... no brain cracking activities (e.g. studying), the worst could have been doing COS duties and saikang. Somehow, I miss those days. But having the idea of going back to serve for another 4 months just stop me. Human are just contradicting creatures.

Appreciated the call from WeiHao and sms from Jun today. Little actions like these make me smile for the day. =)

Back to the books. I'm a slow turtle.

Dreams

2007-11-07T18:41:00.000+08:00

I hope.
I dream.
I persevere.

I will give my best shot,
Regardless of past failure(s).

Conquering the exams.

*Motivated*

A short break

2007-11-06T23:21:00.001+08:00

I need a break today.

And so I had one.

Went siglap for the tues's waffle.

And then bugis for desserts.

Haha. Shiokness.

Thanks buddy.

Tomo marks the start of the biochem revision.

Seriously, I hate them to the core.

It's freaking boring, and requires lot of memory work.

I can't memorize stuffs for nuts.

So I can sense that I will be dead for the paper.

Agrhhhh. Maybe I should try the ginko pills. Haha.

To the fellow muggers:

Happy studying guys! Good luck for the papers.

Exam Phobia

2007-10-31T01:52:00.000+08:00

Finished with the food myth poster;
And the Food Safety Assignment.
Left biostats assignment 5 to complete;
And I will be done with the assignments for this sem.
Need to mug for the two dreadful CAs (esp biochem),
Agrhhhh, so many stuffs, so little time.

Exams will last till like 5th DEC!!!
Whereby all my friends in NTU will be enjoying life by then. Boo. =(
(Mr. Li, pls dun call me to inform me THAT, just like u did every sem!!!!)

On a lighter note, HK and PoH are coming back... yay.

This dec shall see me going for JB trips for seafoods, partying at Zouk, fishing with the family, burgies annual birthday dinner (yesh, we are all dec/jan babies), MJ sessions many many, end-of-year shopping trips, Vietnam trip, ...

Anything except school sounds fun. =(

Life and Death

2007-10-27T00:34:00.000+08:00

The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends, and the other begins?

Edgar Alan Poe

Every year during Chinese New Year, my dad will bring me to see his aunt, a old woman he respected alot. Daddy was still a poor kid back in the 1960s, and couldn't afford to pay for the 'O' level examination fees. It was my great aunt that lend money from her father-in-law to pay the examination fees for my dad. Till today, daddy is grateful for her kindness. Every year before we visited her, Daddy will tell us (the children) about the incident. Without her, Daddy probably will not be what he is of today. My great-aunt is a cute chubby old woman with rosy cheeks, a head of pure white hair, and with a heart of gold. As usual, she would offer me pineapple tarts, hold my hand in her wrinkled one, telling me "Ah di ah, jia, jia." (Litte boy, eat, eat in teochew). Today, in Ward 53 of NUH, I saw daddy crying as the nurse forced the medicine dissolved in water down her throat using a syringe. Lying in front of the bed was a thin, haggard old woman who no longer smile, and is too weak to even speak up. I almost could not recognise her except for her head of white hairs that remains the same since I was a young boy. She held my dad's hand, looked dearly into his eyes as daddy tried to make her drink some milk which she spilled out eventually. A motherly affection I saw in her eyes, a misery love I saw in dad's watery eyes, and I turned my head away. I couldn't bear to see this... Liver cancer is killing her, and 6 months more is what she has.

Right below her, in Ward 43, lies a young chap who just had an operation to remove cancerous tissues from the colon. Days ahead of him is chemotherapy, blood tests, injections and eventually, death. The cancerous cells has spread to his livers, and the doctor said he probably has a year or two to live. This young chap was my favourite maternal cousin who bought me sweets since I was a young kid, and my mum told me that I loved to be carried by him when I was a toddler. He was also the one who taught me how to fish when I grew up, and would join me and my family for fishing trips every now and then. He didn't finished primary school, and would occasionally popped by my house, asking me to help him read letters. Just last week, he came over and handed me this medical report, a diagnosis test, colon cancer at stage 4. He couldn't believe what the doctor said in that fateful afternoon, and told me to read through it again. All I could to do was to confirm what the doctor told him...

Life is pleasant, death is peaceful, but it's the transition that matters. Hopefully, miracles could have happened. Life is like a game of cards, the way you play it is free will, but eventually you will still draw the death card. Humans will die one day or another, and living life to the fullest would have been the greatest joy ever. Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. I choose to think.

May God Bless Them.

Horror films

2007-10-22T23:11:00.001+08:00

Thai song makes me happy.

Dad promised me a trip to Bangkok this coming Dec,

Hopefully as he promised,

Coz I don't want Genting(!).

And the Vietnam trip is confirmed.

Haha, damn happy.

Slacked at home and watched a series of horror shows online on sat. Began the day with 第19层空间 by Gillian Chung, and the movie was a crap. It's a pyschotic game invented by a pervert, and four university girls went to play the game. And in the end, they fall into the 18 levels of hell, and almost died but didn't die at the end. Besides seeing Gillian Chung in the show, there's no attraction values to the show at all.

Next, I watched 三更2之饺子 by 杨千嬅 and 梁家辉, and the movie was just as disappointing. This sequel was way too lousy as compared with the first one on "going home". Basically, it's all about eating unborn babies and having sex and sex and sex. There's an abortion scene that was quite disgusting though. Apparently, hongkong directors are better with love stories I guess. I think that they are still afar in directing horror films as compared with the Japanese or Koreans, and to the Thai in particular.

The Maid, a local horror film was shown on Channel 8 after I finished with the two dissatisfactory movies, and I was kind of impressed by the movie starred by Alessandra de Rossi. The plot is about a maid, Rosa from Philippines that arrived to Singapore to earn money for her sickly brother, and she has to accustom herself to the custom of the Seventh Month, whereby she struggled with the supernatural forces. The maid is employed by a Teochew opera family, who give her a place to stay in their dilapidated shophouse. Little does she knows that in these thirty days of the seventh month, she will be disclosing the hidden secrets of the family, who killed a maid a year ago. I like the premise, but somehow the ending is kind of predictable. Going home with the ashes of the dead maid at the end might sound like a happy ending for Rosa, but what about her brother who was so in need of money for operation. And I think the show will reach another climax, that if, the "non existent" dead maid could come out to give us a scare here and there, instead of showing only the shadow or some scorpions. And pardon me if I'm wrong, cause I don't think we can find scorpions in singapore?!

I continued with two Thai horror movies, the Art of the Devil 2 and the Ghost Game respectively.

Art of the Devil 2 has a pretty second female lead, and is about a sexy village teacher portrayed by Napakpapha Nakprasitte, who was thought to be a flirtatious vixen and a disloyal stepmother. She was caught by her step son and his friends for having sex with a male teacher and was expelled by the school. She then turned to black magic to exact revenge, and killed them one by one two years later when they came back from the capital for holiday. I like the twist in the show's ending, where I discover that she was the victim instead, and was hypnotized to have sex with the male teacher through the work of a bomoh. The plot added in a deadly romance of her step son, who was discovered to be dead two years ago only at the end, and it was his soul that follows the second female lead, ensuring her safety and rescue her from the dangers. Never does I know that, it was due to a fact that, the second female lead set a love curse on him when they were still in their teen years. He killed her at the end so that she could accompany him forever.

Ghost game is a Thai horror film about 11 contestants on a reality TV show who must stay in an abandoned military prison where atrocities took place years before. The film was controversial because the setting closely matched that of Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, where the Khmer Rouge in Thailand's neighbor, Cambodia, tortured prisoners. In the film, the prison was called S-11, which closely resembles the name the Khmer Rouge used for Tuol Sleng, S-21. It also depicts piles of skulls and bones, similar to many war memorials around Cambodia. Basically, this show just scare people without any guessing of the storyline, and it was quite a thrill. I like. =)

Agrhh, Tuesday blue...

The Week

2007-10-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

To perceive is to suffer.
How ironical it is.
Heals the shattered heart.
Dries the weeping tears.
Everything will turn up fine.

To fall in love is awfully simple,
To fall out of love is simply awful.
But love is unconditional,
Relationships are not.
Nothing is possible between the impossible.

The greatest pain that comes from love,
Is loving someone you can never have.

The week was quite an emotional week for me, especially the monday. Had a late night talk with a friend on Sunday night, and was affected somehow. The broken heart will heal, but the soul might not. That's the reality about love. To me, I love wholeheartedly with no returns. Seeing the person I like in bliss or surviving well is the happiest thing to me. Yeah, sound way like a loser, but love can't be forced, and I knew the situation way too clear. I was to her, nothing more then just a good friend. But I'm contended this way. =) Is enough to make me smile for the day to see her happy, taken her three meals and leading her life positively. Was shopping with Jun after the mon interview at intercruises with Alvin and Christine. Didn't buy anything, but dropped my hair. Yeah, I had a haircut. Whenever I feel not too good, I will cut my hair. A way of escapism I guess.

Tuesday was a full day in school, and I love wednesday. Prof Ip's practicals are way too fun. Is like back-to-pri-school science experiments, just that things are covered more in depth. And I guess it was this - the most basic and interesting stuffs in Biology that attracts me to science since I was a young kid. Not DNA polymerase nor the kerb's. Finally had my therapeutic swim after pract, and it was great; my back started to hurt again ever since I stopped it for two weeks plus. Went for cardio-exercise class with the buddies after school, and I feel good with their company. A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. I contended to have a couple of them. =)

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.

A Lazy Afternoon

2007-10-14T17:46:00.000+08:00

Mood: Laid back, retrophilic
Song: Dream Lover by Bobby Darin

The lazy sunday afternoon's sun shined on my ass before waking up by a phonecall from the best friend. Did nothing much, just some meddle matters here and there, and scheduling my timetable for the week. If only I could sit in a cafe with a book by my fav author, listen to classic old songs from the nearby CD shop, and occasionally observe the expressions of the human beings as they walk by, life might be lightened up.

Out of the blue, I miss the old army days, whereby doing weekend duty was the one and only bad thing in life. No studies, no thoughts about the future, no stress. BMT days were the best days ever. Every night, most of the section 1 guys were gathered on my bed at the corner, shared the snacks we bought during weekend, and talked about anything in the world, with "GIRLS" being the hottest topic. Reminiscening those days, 3101 Lim Zijian, with a hot girlfriend and 3111 Tan Li Jian, Paul were the best people I ever met. We can talk on the bed till like 3am in the morning, risking ourselves from being caught by the sergeants, whereas other people were already in their lala land. We weren't buddies by the way, (my buddy was a troublemaker) but we clicked somehow. Along with that, Zen, Eugene, Kok Leong, Vincent, etc who I spent another four months with after BMT were just as great. It's a pleasure we are still in contact till now.

During Coy PoP Night with LJ and ZJ. Haha. Xdresser!

Army teaches us how to smoke and vulgarities.

Lectures in the forests.
Am the one in the middle, last row.

If only time can be turned back.

Updates.

2007-10-13T01:37:00.000+08:00

The world is round,

I thought I will see u again when we parted.

But you never turned up.

It's a laughter filled with saddness.

I thought is kind of ironic,

But I can't stop crying.

And I can't have you either.

I hate emo stuffs, haha. This friday was a good day even though the morning test was horrendous.We skipped the metabolism and regulation lecture right after for lunch at Crystal Jade. I didn't really attend the stats lecture though, coz I spent most of the time talking to Zhenyun and XiaoTong about anything except stats. Haha. Met up with the YEP cliques (Joy in particular), and it was a rather short but nice gathering. If only the time is set slower, and we can cherish stuffs that we missed, then life would have less regrets.

Kumar's show on Sunday was great, though I preferred DimSum Dollies. AngMohs like to fuck asian girls, that's why they are called (cock)casian. Hahahah. Somehow it resembles the Simon's Carbaret show I watched in Phuket, but costs doubly as much.

I knew I'm shorter la!

The fellow audience.

Important people in my life.

There are plannings of Vietnam trip, Xmas's chalet and a show called "A Crazy Chirstmas" by dream academy production coming up next. I'm damn looking forward to December. *Blink blink* Before that... ... ... THE EXAMS!!! -_-"

Awaiting the December...

Killed by Phage

2007-10-09T23:23:00.000+08:00

Someone!!!

Please invent a big fat phage that can infect me.

Let it goes through the lytic pathway, so it can kill me entirely.

I'm done with phage's lecture notes after five hours of fullest attention,

But I know nuts when I was re-attempting the assessment questions.

*bleahz*

If only my brain is a genius's brain...